Help me stop my toddler from overeating!

[Karmaa]

Since before DD2 even weaned, she was extremely interested in any food that was around her. When I started weaning her, I couldn't believe the way she would literally eat any food. You could purée any veg combo and she would guzzle it up. Problems we had though were, as soon as she saw we were making food, the crying would begin until she was fed it. Then, as soon as her meal was finished she'd scream for more. She was otherwise very placid. Things got worse and basically, she would start screaming during the meal and it became apparent over time that the thing upsetting her was the thought of the meal finishing. It was so bad to the point I couldn't take her into café's or anywhere that food was being served because her melt downs were just so severe. She is now 3 and we still have some issues surrounding food. She basically will not stop eating. She is around the 10th centile for height and the 75th for weight and looks fine (obviously on the chubby side though). When it's just me and her, it's fine. I control portion sizes and give her healthy meals & snacks. To give you an idea of how much her world revolves around food, before she goes to bed for her nap or her night time sleep, she always asks me "mummy is it nighttime or naptime" and when I say "nighttime" she's really happy and says "yay! I get breakfast when I wake up" or if I say "naptime" she is sad because she knows she doesn't get a meal straight after her nap. Bearing in mind naptime comes straight after lunch so she can't possibly be hungry.

Where I'm having real issues is that my best friend has a 1.5 year old who is really picky with food. She grazes throughout the day so whenever we meet said friend, she brings a massive lunchbox full of food. Anything from cocktail sausages, veg, pretzels, breadsticks. She always opens up the box for my DD and hers to get stuck into. I tried saying that my DD shouldn't really be eating at that time because it's maybe an hour before she is due to have dinner but it just becomes impossible. DD gets very upset if she isn't allowed any of the food and then my friend feels bad about it. I resorted to bringing my own packed lunch along whenever we see them, basically full of cucumber sticks, carrot sticks and such to give to my DD but she still ends up eating from my friends lunch box. I did say no to this and told her she has her own but then she'll just cry continually and my friend ends up feeling bad.

I'm finding it so difficult. I don't want to overfeed DD but i don't know how to control these external factors like other people feeding her.

I'll just give you another example to explain how she is around food. The other day, we went to our friends house who had prepared us a lovely brunch. DD had bread, ham & other cold meat, fruit, croissant, yoghurt etc. We left just before 12 and DD said "mummy when we get home can I have morning snack and lunch". I explained that she wouldn't be having those because we had gone for brunch instead. She cried for about 20 minutes straight.

She's obviously eating or wanting to eat for reasons other than being hungry and I'm just not sure how best to deal with this.

Sorry for the long post. Please help!

I feel the need to clarify this because people are misunderstanding the thread.

The food i am giving her, I am perfectly happy with. I feel it's a good amount. My problem is, she always wants more. Even on the occasions when I have let her eat and eat and eat, she still wants more. Giving her more food doesn't solve it. If anything, she then just expects the extra the next day which creates more melt downs.

We went to a wedding once and the guests at the table were in absolute disbelief at how she polished off her 3 course meal (kids size which was suitable for up to age 12). Clean plate at every course. She was 1.5 at the time.

The daily food example is what I give her and what I'd like her to eat on a daily basis. It's what I feel is an appropriate amount for her. If I gave her what she wanted, she would be extremely overweight.

Please don't bandy about serious, life changing genetic conditions when you don't have any knowledge or experience.

FWIW children with Prader-Willi rarely exhibit Hyperphagia until they are older. As babies they usually fail to thrive and experience trouble gaining weight.

You need to see a GP though OP.

@Teddybear45

Do you have experience with PWS? PM if you want.

Ah, just read what she eats. That really isn't too much. DS (15months) yesterday ate:

Today: bread and pb , banana, nectarine, yoghurt, cottage cheese, gnocchi and tomato sauce, lentil crackers, breadsticks, naked bar, all the rest of the strawberries, one veggie sausage, bit of omelette. (Plenty of veg offered alongside, declined).

It is hard to tell what is appropriate for her though because sometimes actually she will need more due a growth spurt or after an illness for example.

Maybe find ways to slow down her eating. Eg let her serve herself, she has to cut her food more etc. Then she’s more likely to hit the “full” point.

But with my ds it’s definitely that he just eats so so fast and loves that feeling of food. He also really enjoys spicy food with loads of flavour.

What happens if you let her eat and eat and eat but only carrots, cucumber, soup, hoummous etc?

Just read your update. Sorry can see you've put a lot of effort into posting, I did misunderstand. You've got the most information and if you think there's a problem you need to start with your GP and keep pushing.

I don't think you're stealth boasting, we have to keep bananas out of sight, it must be really hard work doing that with everything.

I don't think that's a massive amount of food at all OP. Maybe she is actually hungry. I don't know if it's helpful but this is what my 2 and 3 yr old eat -
B - cereal or porridge. 2yr old will eat 2 bowls of porridge.
Snack - fruit/rice cakes.
L - crackers, cheese/ham/carrots/cucumber etc. Or sandwich (1 or 2 slices depending what else they have) grapes or Apple. Yogurt
S - fruit or biscuit, cereal bar etc
Dinner - same as you've listed.

I don't really control their eating as such. So etimes they seem hungrier than others.

They are both tall, ds2 is 75th centile for weight but 91st for height. He's stocky. Ds1 is tall and really slimmed down now he's nearly 4.

ittakes2 SNAP! I've never come across someone else who described that, having a constant appetite with coeliac disease. I don't recall ever feeling "so full I couldn't eat anything more", until my mid to late teens, by which time I'd been gluten free about 3 years. I was always the one who would eat anything and everything at a party, look around after Christmas dinner and say "aren't we going to cut the cake now?" etc. When I woke up in the morning the first thing I needed was food, as a young child my parents would arrange stools and things to make a noise if I tried to get into the kitchen and the fridge.

My mother absolutely had to teach me what was "enough" to eat, despite frequently being told to let me eat what I wanted, that children will self regulate if they are offered a range of healthy food. I do believe that is true for the vast majority of children, but it wasn't for me.

The other allergies I had, caused fairly constant allergic rhinitis. I have concluded as an adult, with mercifully reduced allergic symptoms, that I usually woke up with a stomach full of mucus and eating made it feel better.

To the OP, I agree with those who've said you don't need to worry about prader-willi syndrome; if you were telling us "we had so much trouble with her as a baby, failure to thrive, couldn't feed her, then she finally started eating and since then has never stopped", then that would be a priority to investigate. Also, she sounds bright as a button which doesn't fit PWS.

However, being on the 10th centile, unless that is already slightly tall for your family, makes me suggest you go and talk to your GP about your concerns. Most children who are overweight will go through childhood a little taller than they might otherwise have been, though they also may grow earlier at puberty so don't end up taller as adults. A shorter child tending to overweight may have other things going on that could be looked for now, or perhaps your GP will prefer to monitor for a few months with a view to checking later depending on how it is going.

I agree try to up the proteins and fats in your daughter's diet and see if that makes a difference to her food-seeking behaviour. But yes, you should be able to be in charge of what she eats for some years yet!

Op, how are her bowel movements? Is she puting on weight or losing? Have you noticed she is too thirsty? Fruity urine smell? Does diabetes or thyroid issues run in Ur or her dad's families? How much does she drink? Is she still hungry even if she is distracted doing something?

@Karmaa sorry I hadn't seen your recent post.

There's a couple of things that stand out - it's pretty normal for younger children to eat more (like the example you have of the wedding meal) and for the appetite to drop off as growth slows, and development slows. So my 2 yr old eats more than the nearly 4 yr old. The nearly 4 yr old eats around 1/2 the amount that he did at 18 months

The amount you are giving her is on the small side I think. But I get what you are saying about how she always wants more. Maybe try to make the food more protein rich, to fill her up for longer?

I don't think a GP visit would be unreasonable, but I think you will have to be really firm with them to get anywhere

Op honestly I think you are just going to have to say no and take the tantrum.

Be firm with your friends and family and take the hit if they are unsupportive or whatever .

It will be hard at first but she will learn. People need to be less worried about kids crying. It's what they do. Toddlers especially.

The "active kids" thing gets bandied about alot. However alot of activities put on for kids also stop half way through fir snacks. So what is supposed to be an hour long, well by the time they get going having had to stop for late comers and got changed they play for a bit stop to eat well the amount if time spent exercising is very little.

Swim classes and gym classes etc all have alot of waiting around taking turns

Then people justify the food before and after as they think they have done enough .

Plus grand parents seem to think the only way to treat the kids is food

You wont stop her being upset and crying. However it's a short term thing unlike feeding to keep quiet which will carry on until someone says "no" and you end up with exactly the same issue if upset just further down the line

Pressed too quick lol do you have any relatives with celiac disease? Or any absorption issues?

My 7 year old was like this. Ate an adult size roast dinner and chocolate cake on his first birthday.
He is still the same and will ask for a snack whilst still eating a meal. It's like he is anxious about not being able to get food.
We think he has some sensory issues and needs to have something in his mouth all the time. We got him a chew band and electric toothbrush to get that sensory input in his mouth.
We make sure he has plenty to do all the time to prevent boredom eating.
Then we have quite a set food routine, I remind him: "not yet, but in half an hour." But if he's really upset he can have a carrot at any time.
At 7 he doesn't eat massive meals but likes to snack a lot....(constantly) so we have about 6 snack times a day and just offer small meals.

The "active kids" thing gets bandied about alot. However alot of activities put on for kids also stop half way through fir snacks

None of the activities mine have done have snack time?? Only a water break.

I do know parents who feed their kids shit at every opportunity to keep them quiet, which is annoying as I don’t. Then my kids end up eating it and I end up looking mean/tight for bringing nothing.

Another idea, if she is asking for food, she you don't think she needs it, is to offer fruit and nothing else. What would happen then? Would she eat an apple banana and a pear in one go? It's something I do, as it rules out them just wanting something "nice". If they are hungry, they eat the Apple.

Nottalotta she would eat all the fruit given half a chance! Lol.

Iggly I can't bare that. Happens to me also. I don't think kids need to be fed 24/7 but funnily enough, my friend who constantly gives her kids snacks has big trouble with her son not eating his school dinners or evening meals.

My 2.5 year old loves food but is very active so isn’t overweight. This is a typical day.

Breakfast
2 weetabix and milk
Often he has fruit after it

Snack time around 10.30 am normally at toddlers.
Cheese pieces, cut up fruit, breadsticks, mini sausages, small amount of crisps and maybe an animal biscuit (these are all mini portions but he always has a minimum of one bowl full)

Lunch time around 12.30
Normally cup of milk, small sandwiche or brioche roll, yogurt, banana and cut up fruit like strawberries etc.

Snack time around 3pm
1 weetabix and milk OR breadsticks and fruit OR maybe a mini ice cream if it’s hot.

Diner 5.30
Small portion of whatever we are having for tea.

He drinks loads during the day too.

Ok, I think I'd definitely try the GP then. It sounds like even if you made the food swaps, and gave her a bit more, she would still be asking for more.

iggly

I think you got lucky then.

Certainly alot of things aimed at very small children revolve around food. Of it's not stopping half way through for snacks its throwing unlimited squash or a biscuit in for an extra 50 p in the price.

And those where they dont actually eat well there is often some waiting around so they arent active the whole time.

Even with pre schools people assume they are active all day but there are also alot of activities that involve standing still like at the sand pit or sat down painting . Throw in snack time, or story time again theres not always the amount of activity people may assume . Plus many parents drive their kids as other threads indicate walking a mile or so will be boring or too far or miserable etc.

I think.alot of people over estimate just how much actual exercise their kids do. And unsurprisingly they also opt out of their reception reception measuring initiative.

she would eat all the fruit given half a chance! What if you just offered veg though?

Karmaa, there are two separate issues here. One is how to regulate your DD's food intake and the other is how to deal with your friend. Re the latter (as most of the replies are focusing on the former), have you tried talking to your friend and saying you're worried about DD's weight and please can she not offer your DD snacks?

If you take her to something exciting like a farm, does she still want to eat?

What she is eating isn't a lot at all compared to the kids in my family. None of it is very filling either. I'd say she just sounds hungry and doesn't like the feeling.

I don’t think it was a matter of luck. My dcs do football, swimming, dance, gymnastics. No snack times.

In terms of activity of a child - I found the best way was actually to make them walk almost everywhere. Being active at home for at least an hour is quite difficult!

OP, I think what you're giving her is fine (potentially more fats and protein, and I would give my DS a whole sandwich at that age) so if she's still hungry there's probably something else going on, whether that be physical or emotional. Agree you will have to be quite pushy at the GP as I don't think it's something they will be too concerned about if she doesn't have other symptoms of e.g. diabetes.