Would you judge this parent?

[Sparrowlegs248]

If a parent turned up at a school event, such as sports day, nativity etc, dressed in untidy/dirty work clothes. Pre school or early primary age children. Parent is self employed, tradesperson. Not filthy but obviously less clean and tidy than an office worker.

What on earth, Mokepon? . Do they treat him as some sort of sideshow??

Im sitting on the fence here.
Simply because if my husband came to school pickup in his work clothes,.. and they are filthy!! I'm willing to bet, many would be judging as to why he would turn up like that..!!

Why?? Simply he works for himself, mostly on his Todd, no staff as such..
Because he's a Mechanic.. oily, dirty, smelly job.

no absolutely not.

I shamefully used to not judge, but look over parents who were a bit scruffy PRE KIDS

now i have a child, do i shite judge people. I look like shit most day, but my child is clean,loved and wears nicer clothes than me. Thats important in my eyes. and i am always there for him.

If a parents child was scruffy, smelt, they were not there for them - then yes sorry i judge.

child first

@Nottalotta are they using it as an excuse?

No, it would be obvious that they had came straight from work, at least they are putting their child first.

Of course not, I'm not a dick

He should definitely go

@YourSarcasmIsDripping I couldn't say for sure, but it's crossed my mind.

My dh is a painter, frequently attends school/kids stuff in his overalls if he's not got time to go home and wash and change.

No. Since when did you need to get suited or made up to support your child.

My dp regularly goes to school events with his work clothes on and dirty if it's in doors he stands at the back. He doesn't have time to go home and shower if any one doesn't like it tough he's there to see his child not impress anyone.

Is it your ex/ children's father op?

Most of the tradesmen I know make better money than suited and booted office workers, whoever this person is OP shouldn’t care what anyone thinks, their child won’t; they’ll be happy to see him.

Most of the tradesmen I know make better money than suited and booted office workers

It's true, but the UK has such a weird class system that someone in a suit is seen as more successful than a person in overalls. Despite the fact I know of builders on six figure salaries and people who sit in offices all day looking smart on barely more than minimum wage.

Would think on the "work clothes" I think - abattoir worker or those people who empty septic tanks or suchlike I'd maybe not want to stand right next too....

Bookworm read the thread, will you? The OP doesn't care how anyone turns up, just that this parent doesn't feel he can come in work clothes and OP thinks he's too worried when actually no one in their right minds objects.

I judged the idiot who turned up to watch his child sing in the choir in a t-shirt with a four letter word and a slogan that was highly sexual. They were singing in a church.

@crosstalk that's what @Bookworm4 has said

I found the best and cheapest local painter and decorator this way. And I’m not only one who has grabbed someone at sports day for a quick quote.

Iamtheworst totally misread that as grabbing someone at a sports day for a quickie! Get in the bin my mind....

I think the opposite - you are judging them for not going when you think they should. Maybe they don't really want to go? Is it any of your business? Should they go just to satisfy you?

I would judge the parent for using that as an excuse. But if genuinely insecure I would be ok with them skipping it. Depends what you think the real reason is.

If they have popped in for pint after work without changing for example or if they always come home to change even if only going to Tesco. What are they closer to?

Dd used to do a dance class we went to the Christmas show every dad bar none was a builder / tradesman dh (corporate solicitor) came direct from court so was in his smartest suit. He was the only dad not in a baseball cap and stuck out like sore thumb. Think it’s natural to feel abit wrong footed if you dressed differently to everyone else whatever you wearing! Fear we were judged as poshos wasnt sorry when dd went off dance

@FancyAPint to be honest, I do think they should go, because the child is desperate for them to be there. And the parent often finishes work at 3.30 or 4pm so if need be, would be able to work later to catch up.

DH works as a plasterer/roofer and honestly? Most days he comes home filthy and stinking and in desperate need of a shower.

I don't think inflicting that kind of filth (he often comes home black, or with paint and plaster in his hair) and smell on an enclosed space is really a good idea

It's not that bad. The work van is spotless inside, overalls are worn and can be removed. Either way, it seems that most people wouldn't mind.