Horrible man has left me feeling discombobulated

[Pinkarsedfly]

I think I’m over-reacting, but this happened yesterday and I’m still thinking about it so I thought I’d ask you lot what you’d have said/done.

Basically, I’d had a lovely day at the races with my sister and niece. I wouldn’t normally go (not my scene) but it was a charity day and my niece had got us free tickets, so I put a frock on and pitched up.

At the end of the day, it started raining. On the way back to the car, out of nowhere, a pissed guy got under my umbrella with me, and said,

‘You’ve come out in something today that doesn’t suit you, haven’t you? Those little boots...still, you’re rocking it, you’re rocking it...and with those blue eyes, you can get away with anything...’

This is the thing. I just froze. I couldn’t think of a damn thing to say. I’m known for being witty, words are my thing, and in the past I could be a bit nasty with my tongue (grown up now). But it all left me.

Instead I stepped away to avoid him, ended up in a puddle, thus humiliating myself further as he and his friends pissed themselves laughing at me.

It ruined the day for me - why can’t I just think ‘Pissed arsehole’?

Instead I’m feeling cross with myself that I didn’t give as good as I got, and that I let it upset me. How fragile is my self esteem?

What should I have said? If I’d read this on here I’d be all ‘You should have told him to fuck off’, but when it came down to it, in the moment I froze.

What would you have done?

@pinkarsedfly You look great! The outfit is right up my street, boots included. He was being a dick, I've encountered these rock star wannabes in the past, ego writing cheques their body can't cash. Ignore the plantpot!

Oh wow OP you look gorgeous!! I really think he didn't actually think what he said - just tried to make you feel bad. He probably went home and had a sad little w**k...

It's hard to avoid all the twatty men in the world. Stop caring about their opinions.

Sad little wank!!! screaming

It’s not so much his opinion that I care about. It was more my reaction to him. I felt like I let myself down. But this thread has made me feel better. I realise it was just my instinct kicking in.

at ‘sad little wank’.

I’m not big on words in such cases but would have rearranged the umbrella to lash the runoff down the back off his head/neck.

in my (recent) experience men don’t seem to ‘get’ the ankle boot thing

Yes in my experience they don't get anything they don't consider attractive. My ex used to hate any clothes that weren't skin tight and used to say, "I don't understand why you would wear s baggy top and not show your figure off". My response was, show off to who? You? Other men for your benefit?
Ugh, it's the whole, women's bodies are for men to look at, all over again so they don't understand it when you don't play along.

I've had this done to me in the past. I think what's so disconcerting is the detail and judgement in the insult: they've obviously noticed closely and that's, to me, what's so skin-crawling. It's like, for a fraction of a second, you should listen because they've had a really intense look.

Agree. That's why it's stuck with you. I had it happen to me once when I was on my own after a night out I still remember it clearly two couples and one of the men said something about me as I was getting into a taxi. It was fifteen years ago but it left me shaken. He didn't shout or swear but said something about my size and outfit which showed he'd obviously been watching me. Skin crawling creepy.

Oh and your boots are fab.

OP you look lovely in that pic. Not that it's relevant as it doesn't matter in the context of what happened but don't worry that you didn't look right.

What an utter prick. I hate insignificant little men like this. I normally give them a look like I'm totally repulsed by them. Practice an 'oh god what's that smell?' look.

I have a naturally miserable face. Don't get me started on the amount of men that say 'smile' to me. Wankers.

Oh! If I had £1 for every time I've thought of just the right thing to say after the opportunity to say it has passed I'd be rich!

OP, I think you reacted exactly how most of us would i.e. you were caught off guard, dumbfounded, taken aback etc.

If I were you, I think I would probably be reliving the event in my head only this time the man would step into a steaming pile of dog poo and skid, landing on his arse in a puddle, or I would "accidentally" trip him up or poke him in the eye with my brolly. Sometimes such fantasies can be quite satisfying, I find!

Why listen to anything he said. He was speaking shite - if you are wearing something that doesn't suit you , you are not 'rocking it'. It is just rubbish speak. I don't know why men think we are all craving their thoughts on what we look like. Yes some women wet their knickers in anticipation, others would rather the oiks did not speak until spoken to!!

Drunken oik = his thoughts are valueless.

You could have just smiled pityingly at his mates - "I think it is really kind of you to take him out. Bless!'