What is your secret that you waste money on?

[itisalladream]

We must all have one thing that we secretly treat ourselves too... or waste money on.... for many women it seems to be shoes or a nice handbag etc.
Me? I waste my money on flight upgrades

What about you?

Shoes, bags and jewellery...no matter if I'm a skinny minnie, or have piled on the pounds they all still do their job.

Expensive bath oil - Jo Malone & L'Occitane.

Plants from our wonderful local market nursery stalls. It's only a tenner...almost weekly. I do have a large fornt & back garden and my flowerbeds do look great.

I don't see it as a waste but my favourite kitchen gadget is my boiling water tap but by god, it's expensive to maintain. We're on our 3rd hot water tank in 7 yrs (at £200 a pop) let alone changing the filters at £40 every 6 mths or so.

Ridiculously expensive scandi and organic clothes for the DC. Meanwhile I have a hole in my only pair of jeans and can't quite bring myself to spend £15 on some new ones from Tesco...

Books - I don't mind buying them for the DC but for me it's such a waste. I'm a very fast reader and can get through a normal sized book in a couple of hours, and only tend to reread ones I really love. Must use the library more but can't seem to resist owning them.

Sugary crap for binging on which isn't really a treat so much as a form of self-harm. Must stop that.

Bags, shoes, linen dresses, silk scarves, jewellery, books and flowers.

Next will be regular personal maintenance, as I’ve always been really low maintenance having been lucky on skin quality etc. But now approaching mid forties I need a bit of help to keep things looking their best.

I don’t feel any guilt, though.

Too many.

I'm another kindle 99 p special hoarder. I have hundreds of unread books and would probably not run out of books if I didn't buy another book for the next 10 years.

But the way I see it is that I'm not spending any more on books, I'm just getting more books for the same money. Instead of buying one £5 book a month, I'm getting 5 x 99 p books a month, they're the same books, I just use ereaderiq to track when they go on offer and buy them then.

A few times a year I go and get a few of the mini packs from Hotel Chocolat just for me. I don't generally buy 'normal' chocolate day to day, so would rather have a few very nice and expensive ones every so often, than something like a Mars bar every day.

But both of those are dwarfed by the thousands of pounds a year I pay in exchange for fresh air and for someone to take me out to sea and watch me jump off a perfectly good boat (scuba diving).

Buying nice things for yourself is never a waste of money if it brings you pleasure and you can afford it out of genuinely disposable income, ie after bills are paid, savings put by for the short and long term and food and travel etc are accounted for. So no reason to feel guilty.

It makes me just a little cross that men seem to get away with spending hundreds or thousands on their hobbies and interests, but if women spend money on themselves it is seen as frivalous or wasteful.

Oh, and my cookbook collection. I have dozens of them and rarely use them. I get recipes from magazines and off the internet.

eBay, I’m a huge eBay addict. I keep saying I’ll delete it once all of my purchases have arrived but I just keep buying more 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Reusable nappies, find those addictive too. Definitely don’t need anymore.

Cherry Pepsi Max, I drink 2 litres a day.

Oh yes, cookbooks for me too! I think I have about forty of them. I get my recipes from googling...

Yes Barbara I will not play along with the narrative. Why should I feel guilty for having or doing nice things that make me happy??

@Fooferella - Saskia Black, the 'theirs to' series. I'm fairly sure she used to write for Black Lace, when it was a thing, to give you an idea of the sort of books they are 😁 They're on Kindle Unlimited, I think.

Definately possibly the same DE serum combo!
Also a Kate Somerville set which was in the birthday sale and a replacement tata harper cleanser as one of my dds has made off with the one I was using and then an omorovicza mask!
The other order I bought was a gift set but as it was actually for a friend I don’t really count it

posh boxes of chocolate that I eat all for me.

I also love one of the soap and glory scrubs which is £8 so not extravagant but I think it's a bit over the top. Still buy it though.

Make up but also dresses ,for the kids blind bag toys they love them cheap but added up over the year its alot.

Youmadorwhat I want your bathroom! What is the rest of your house like? gorgeous I bet . . .
I rent at the moment, so I spend money on house furnishings - nice rugs, cushions, furniture, plants etc . . . can't change the hideous 80's kitchen/bathroom or the ugly curtains so try and make rest of house look nice. Getting addicted to plants though which is a worry!

I have funny shaped feet so have to spend on decent shoes as cheaper shoes rub me and give me blisters. I think it is worth spending on boots though - good leather ones last for ages. Spent a fortune on a couple of pairs a few years ago and they're still as good as new, despite me living in them over winter.
I also love lush products and spend up on them.
Aside from that I'm frugal - buy a lot of second hand clothes fro me and DC (Oldest DS will only wear converse sigh but quite easy to find second hand), don't really have any expensive habits, socialise at home or at friend's houses.

Thank you Ken! Surprised so many people are fine with it.

I’m fine with it because it’s not a definite statement, so it’s not s sweeping generalisation and it’s not particularly sexist. It didn’t say all women love to spend money on bags and shoes. It didn’t even say most do. It quite clearly says ‘for many women it seems to be...’. Which quite clearly is a perfectly factual and correct statement. I’ve got more important things than that to be outraged about.

A cleaner
A gardener
Private counselling
Hypnotherapy
Reflexology and massages

the price of trying to self treat PND

Barbara very true, good point.

Nink disagree with you on that, it is sexist, and it is a generalisation. The context is the problem - the OP is contrasting what 'normal' women like with what she likes. A quick read through the thread is enough to demonstrate that in fact hardly anyone 'wastes' their money on shoes or handbags.

Why isn't sexism important, out of interest? If the OP had made a similar generalised comment about black people, or gay people, or people with MH issues, people would object (I hope) and rightly so.

I didn’t say it wasn’t sexist. I said it wasn’t particularly sexist. I’m not going to get all het up over fairly minor issues like whether or not some people think that ‘many women buy shoes or bags’.

And I don’t think OP was necessarily contrasting between herself and ‘normal women’, just making a general statement on what she has observed. I think it’s ridiculous to try to argue that it’s untrue that many women like to spend their money on bags and shoes. Many women I know do just that, myself included. And I don’t think it’s necessary to make a big deal out of that really quite accurate statement.

Ultimately though, it’s stupid to argue about this and I can’t be bothered to do so. You expressed surprise at why so many people were okay with it, I’ve explained why I’m okay with it.

Sexism matters, of course it does, but we’re not going to win any wars by arguing over semantics and pulling each other up over quite innocuous statements on Internet forums. I’ll fight my battles where they actually make a difference.

Ohio (can't tag so not sure you'll see this) I do slimming world and I get weighed on a Monday morning

Stickers. I subscribe to two sticker clubs and get sent envelopes of stickers every month. It makes my inner 10 year old so happy.

Books

JesusintheCabbageVan, you don't give a toss about handbags and that's ok. Just as it's ok that some people do like them. Why does that have to be stereotyping?!
As regards sexism, I'm more concerned over the whole wasting money on secrets thing!
Why is it supposedly wrong for women to spend money they have earned on things they like that give them pleasure? Whether that is expensive lattes with wonky milk, or paintings, or even, forsooth, shoes (although I understand the shoes for horses thing a bit better than many other types of shoes, although I will admit I possibly have a penchant for more Doc Martens than a single woman can reasonably wear. But they KEEP, and I'm working my way through my store...........).

And BOOKS are never a waste, unless you never read them and only bought them for interior design reasons. Books are for reading, not for decor!

Oh god, so many little things - though they’re not secret and I don’t consider them wasteful:

Expensive theatre seats - I’m short, myopic and grumpy if I’m not comfortable.

Kindle daily deal - I love knowing I’ll never be without something to read.

Stationery - fibre-tip pens, interesting inks, notebooks and all the washi tape in the world.

Fabric and yarn - I’m useless at sewing and have been crocheting the same blanket for a year but the colours and patterns make me happy.

Scarves - an extension of my fabric fetish.

Nail polish - I very seldom wear it but there’s something irresistible about little bottles of colour.

Hotel Chocolat six-packs, though I’ve weaned myself off since it all got a bit out of control.

Bowls - I just love the shape.

Work lunches - I know I should take my own in but I just can’t be arsed, plus it forces me to leave my desk.