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Police showed up at my door last night

129 replies

AbsolutelyPetrified · 07/06/2019 09:18

Namechanged for this obviously.

About a week ago I went out shopping and found a purse in a restaurant. I used to work in said restaurant and know that the manager (at least back then) used to basically claim lost property for himself, ie. if wallets were handed in he would just keep the cash and chuck the cards, jewelry he tended to keep unless clearly useless etc. so, obviously I was a little reluctant about giving it in there. That part might have been a bit silly as its unlikely that the same manager still worked there or anything or that he hadn't eventually got caught, but anyway, I didn't feel comfortable handing it in there.

I decided to give it in at the nearest main information desk of the shopping centre (very large place with a fair few info desks). I figured that the person probably didn't know quite where they had left it anyway so they would likely try one of the main desks anyway if looking for it. Also fairly relevant here, I have a health condition which makes it extremely hard to walk long distances, especially if I need to do so quickly. It can literally take me hours to walk from my house to the local shop when its flared up properly. And this was quite a bad day too. So, on the way there I nipped into the toilet, where I saw someone I vaguely recognised and was talking to them about what happened, she laughed at me for being 'stupid' enough to be taking long journeys rather than just hand it in at the restaurant as apparently my reasons were silly , something I do agree with now, especially given whats gone on. I had to sit for a while in the loo too as I was in a lot of pain. She asked me where I was going, where I was meant to be going and that and then offered to take it to hand in as she was going that way anyway and she could see I was uncomfortable and basically, it made sense. Would have taken me a fair while to get there, and if she was going that way anyway, why on earth not just..make things a bit more convenient. At this stage I was in so much pain I was feeling quite bitter about finding the thing in the first place as it was a bit of a pain that I was now responsible for getting it sorted when all I wanted to do was find somewhere to sit, then probably go home. I gave it to her and she said she would hand it in on her way round and I thought nothing more of it.

Last night when I was sorting the kids tea, the police showed up at my door. Asking if I was at X on a certain date etc. I said yes, and they asked if I found a ourse which again I said yes. They asked if I still had it, at which stage alarm bells started going off. I said no, and told them the story. They then told me it had been reunited with its owner (so why ask if I still have it if they know I don't?!) and I started breathing again. But they said, the owner claimed a lot of money had been taken from it. I swear to god I did not open the thing and certainly did not take anything from it and basically, why on earth would I go to the trouble I had, if I was planning on taking anything? Long story short, they took a very short written statement from me (saying yes I picked it up, but passed it onto someone else because convenience) and left, but I was left with the feeling they suspected me. I have never before had any issues with the police, but am generally quite good at reading people and they really seemed to be off with me.

I gave them a description of the woman who said she would hand it in, and they said they would check more cctv. I am not concerned about that as it will show her, and will presumably show her leaving the loos and going to the help desk to hand it in, given the police told me that it had been handed in and was with its owner now. However, this claim about money being taken is scaring me a bit and I have been panicking like hell since they left. I cannot make any sense of it to be honest as surely, if this woman did take the cash from it she would have just discarded the purse entirely? What would be te point in taking it and then handing the rest of it in? Trying to think 'like a criminal', surely thats just drawing attention to yourself as you would know you were on camera and would be likely to be found out where if you just discarded it, noone would know any different especially if it was not you who actually found it? Anyway, panicked a lot about it, DH came in from work and I told him and he said straight away that the person is probably just trying it on for compensation or something. Which I had not considered at all.

Basically my question is, whats likely to happen wth this?! They did not tell me how much money was said to be missing, they did not tell me much at all really besides the fact that it was handed in, she had it but is now saying stuffs missing. I have been awake since 5am worrying about this, picturing them turning back up today to arrest me! DH says thats a but over the top but as I said, I have had no dealings with the police before (oddly, except one time when I did have money stolen from my bank, a lot of it and they just said they didn't have the resources to look into it properly) and am prbably overreacting but I am terrified. Utterly terrified.

From looking around the internet, it seems I would be held responsible as, being the person who found it I should personally have 'taken steps to get it back to owner' so I assume from that, that I passed it to someone else thats me in the wrong. I just feel so fucking stupid in all honesty and wish I had just left it where it was instead of trying to help. I mean, I know I cannot walk far and in the back of my mind I must have known it would be a right pain in the arse to actually physically get it to where I planned on taking it. I really wish I had just ignored it, and then whoever else found it could have done whatever they wanted with the damn thing. Seems a bit of..no good deed goes unpunished. Even though I know I did really stupid things too during the whole thing. Mainly, not trusting the staff in the restaurant just because I worked there a few years before and the staff at that time were not honest.

Sorry if this all sounds waffly, just trying to get everything in so as not to drip feed.

My question is basically, whats likely to come of this? I mean, they are probably going to question the woman who handed it in now. Who presumably will say the same as me, and say I gave it to her as she had offered as she was going that way, and she handed it in and that was the end of it. I cannot see any reason for her to have taken it, took the cash then went on to hand it in, that makes no sense so I do think either, someone else found it first, swiped the cash then left the purse before I found it, or the person who lost it is trying it on. But how on earth can this be proved? Are the police likely to turn up to arrest me and question me officially? Is there a chance this will end up in court?! Did I commit a crime, rather than just being a bit dim, when passing the found property to someone else rather than physically taking it myself? So so panicky and might not be the best thing to write on here about it just incase it does end up more serious but, I don't know what to do. DH says just stop worrying, but I wish it was that easy!

To make matters a bit more confusing, when I was searching last night, it seems that some police forces say not to hand in things you find at all, and that the advice now is basically, take it home and put it on social media (as police don't deal with lost property due to cuts) and try to reunite it with its owner that way. That as long as you take reasonable steps to get it back to the owner, its fine. I would say that I took reasonable steps, however I didn't know that handing it in to the main desk was seemingly now classed as the wrong thing to do?! I also thought it would be illegal to open someone elses purse and would open you up to a fair few accusatins too but apparently you are meant to open it, take pictures of the ID (remove dientifying details though) and post it online, along with calling the number on the back of any cards that are in there). All so very confusing and doing nothing at all for my anxiety issues.

Just incase the post has came out too waffly to understand, short version - I found a purse, but passed it onto someone else to hand in, it seems they did hand it in, but now the owner is claiming money is missing. Am I likely to get arrested for theft or something here? And if so, how on earth do I prove innocence?!

Please, I already know I made a few really stupid moves in all of this and as I said, really wish I had just left the thing where it was. I was paranoid in not giving it to the restaurant (though still think its more likely the person would try to claim at a main desk rather than actually in there) and possibly really stupid to pass it to someone else for convenience sake rather than struggling on to the main desk myself. So I do already know I was more than a bit dim. I also know in future, to not bother trying to help and just leave whatever where it is. I have definitely learnt my lesson in that. I just want to know if its possible to actually get charged for being an idiot basically, and how on earth I would defend myself about money that was apparently taken that I know nothing at all about and don't even know if it existed in the first place!

OP posts:
LiverpoolVictoria · 07/06/2019 10:49

I'm confused how you don't even know your 'friends' name but she supposedly knows your address to tell the Police?! Obviously IF they got your address from her, which you don't even know!
It is very odd that they could trace you via CCTV, well they couldn't, so if this is worrying you then call the Police and ask how they got your details. It's very simple to do. That then solves that problem.

The fact you didn't steal the money solves the other problem. They won't have proof you stole it....because you didn't. So that solves that problem.

I think you are overreacting (a lot) to this situation when you don't have to.

AbsolutelyPetrified · 07/06/2019 10:54

It is very odd that they could trace you via CCTV, well they couldn't, so if this is worrying you then call the Police and ask how they got your details. It's very simple to do. That then solves that problem.

This is a good idea, however, I would worry it would draw their attention back to me!

I don't think its likely she gave me address or anything. It is possible she knows my full name though. I do know her name, but am not exactly sure if its like..Ann or Anna. Shes not a friend as such, just someone I kind of know, as in who tends to be out with others in your group on big nights out and that. More just someone who I recognise than anything else. Someone who will chat to anyone, hence ending up talking to her in the loo, which in general I hate, would rathe rbe in and ot and find it annoying when people try to talk to you when washing your hands and stuff! Grin

Thanks for the replies anyway, am calming down a bit now I think. I knew I was overreacting but it was my natural reaction. Paranoia and such are usual, yet usually completely stupid and I can place that its stupid. Just seemed not so stupid given random police visits! No doubt will go back to overthinking it all later on but, it has helped to kind of get it off my chest and see that others would not be in such a bloody flap abnout it all really.

OP posts:
babysharkah · 07/06/2019 10:57

I'm astonished that the police had time for this.

theemmadilemma · 07/06/2019 10:57

Oh for gods sake. The police involvement is confusing. Because we can't get someone out for love nor money around here for most things.

But it's entirely plausible that they contacted the friend first, it's even plausible she maybe called their friend when she had the police on her doorstep and got her full name, and a rough idea of where she lived?

ShitAtScarbble · 07/06/2019 11:08

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RiversDisguise · 07/06/2019 11:13

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Frownette · 07/06/2019 11:15

OP didn't actually say there was £2k in the purse, she cited a case of bank fraud to herself of £2k where police weren't interested. That and the address thing make me a little dubious.

The only time I lost my purse someone took it into the bank and the bank paid the money in, phoned me then posted it back to me. Don't know if banks would be that nice nowadays.

sashh · 07/06/2019 11:16

They have got your name and address because you used to work at the cafr, they will have asked the manger if they knew who was on the CCTV.

The may not yet have CCTV of your 'friend' because you went to the toilet and they probably assumed that is where you took the money (I know you didn't but that will be the way they are thinking).

You did take steps to hand it in and in your circumstances they sound reasonable.

What should happen when a purse is handed in is that it should be opened by 2 people and the contents logged. If there was just one person on the desk then your friend may have been asked to witness the count / logging information.

OK the good news is that you cannot be convicted unless you confess or you are found guilty, "beyond reasonable doubt".

The bad news is that some police don't care, I was arrested for something that actually didn't happen and even if it had I was in Uruguay, the computer I was supposed to have used was in Australia and the IP address was from the UK. I was still told I could 'confess' and 'get away with a caution'.

OK possibilities as far as the police are concerned:

  1. You took the money then gave your friend the purse
  2. Your friend stole the money and handed in the purse
  3. the person who took the purse in as lost stole the money
  4. the person who lost the purse didn't have the money

OK back to more good news, CCTV should show if anyone did take the money, If you are arrested ask for a solicitor before you say anything and keep telling the truth.

Hopefully if it is 2 or 3 then that is on CCTV.

Hecateh · 07/06/2019 11:28

You will be fine - nothing else will come of this.
As a PP has said it is possible the loser is some sort of VIP or has some police connection.
Another scenario is that there have been a lot of purses nicked within the shopping centre and the police think one or a few people are responsible so are following up all instances.
Outoutout is totally out of order in what she is saying - there is no way you will be arrested - unless you have been connected to other such instances. You haven't deliberately deprived anyone of anything. You tried to do the right thing and it went wrong.
Options

  1. the person is lying about the money in the hopes of an insurance claim - and possibly even planted the empty purse for this purpose
  2. the purse was pickpocketed by persons unknown, who removed the money and left it there
  3. the purse was left there or somewhere else, someone picked it up; removed the money and left the purse. Your story is a bit convoluted which has confused things but unless the purse was deliberately planted with evidence of cash in it I cannot see any way in which you could be implicated
TatianaLarina · 07/06/2019 11:28

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TanMateix · 07/06/2019 11:29

Nobody can be scudded or taking the money because the owner cannot prove the money was there in the first place.

I do find it strange that they knew your name an address and that your friend felt comfortable with doing a stopover at the toilets while carrying with her a stranger’s bag. I would be suspicious that your “friend” has something to do with this and that definitely she was the one who told them who you are and where you live. But again, whether it is the owner of the bag or your friend who is lying about the money, it is impossible to know.

TanMateix · 07/06/2019 11:30

Scudded? Fuck the autocorrect... accused!

DarlingNikita · 07/06/2019 11:34

This is all quite weird.

How did she know your full name if you're not even sure of her first name?
How did they have the time/resources, even if they CAN be sure from CCTV that you picked up the purse, to go painstakingly through it?

I agree with pps saying you did take reasonable steps to hand it in, given your health circumstances.

BlondeBumshelll · 07/06/2019 11:36

I think maybe your 'friend' took the money and then left it at the information desk giving your name instead of her own.

Stop stressing, you did nothing wrong and leaving at an information desk was an alright thing to do if you didn't feel comfortable leaving it at the restaurant. Did the police not query why you didn't leave it there?

DarlingNikita · 07/06/2019 11:36

I do find it strange that… your friend felt comfortable with doing a stopover at the toilets while carrying with her a stranger’s bag.

I don't get what you mean, Tan, by a 'stopover with someone else's bag'. Sorry to be dim.

I also wonder if she took the opportunity to nick the money. Or of the owner is just lying about it.

DarlingNikita · 07/06/2019 11:36

if the owner

TatianaLarina · 07/06/2019 11:37

There are more holes in this story than Swiss cheese.

Police can only get access to cctv if they’re 100% sure a crime has been committed. So when my wallet was nicked from my bag in Sainsbury’s they couldn’t access ccctv as they couldn’t be sure I hadn’t dropped it. (I hadn’t even got it out my bag).

Who would hand a wallet to someone they ‘vaguely recognise’.

How could police find your name and address from someone whose name you don’t even know, or from cctv.

TatianaLarina · 07/06/2019 11:38

When you get these anxious long-winded explanations they’re generally bollocks.

Fucklt · 07/06/2019 11:43

Of course police are involved, it’s theft.

As you found it, you had an obligation to try and reunite it with it’s owner or the next best thing (I.e. lost property). CCTV shows you walking off with it into the toilets, then there’s a chat with a woman and the money disappears.

Someone was prosecuted a couple of years ago for finding £20 in a supermarket and pocketing it while she ‘tried to find the owner’.

Perhaps your friend gave your details to the police and has told them the purse was empty when you handed it to her?

letsrunfar · 07/06/2019 11:43

It's like a Mumsnet thread lived out in real life!
Rather than do the obvious, simple, rational thing of just having it to someone in the restaurant and carry on living life, you went all round the houses and then up in a fix.

I'd not expect anything to come of the police thing though so relax.

Funny though!

DaisiesAreOurSilver · 07/06/2019 11:47

@TatianaLarina. Troll hunting is against MN rules. Stop it. Reported.

TanMateix · 07/06/2019 11:48

I don’t know Nikita, a stranger has lost a bag and the stranger see you carrying it around but not showing any sights to be in any hurry to return it. Is it easy to assume the person with the bag was intending to keep it.

My sister picked up a bag in the street that came with no IDs but had a phone. She connected the phone to her charger and waited for the owner to call so she could return it. Problem was that the owner didn’t call, but her mother, who was worried her teen daughter had not returned home by midnight. They found the girl in hospital and thankfully she had been able to make an a statement specifying she had been assaulted by two men and left in the street. The bag was apparently disposed off half a mile away.

Could you imagine the problem my sister would have been in if the girl couldn’t remember what happen? Best thing to do for this kind of things is to point the object to an employee or security and leave them to it.

SkintAsASkintThing · 07/06/2019 11:49

It's more likely it had already been found or stolen and dumped. OR the owner is lying about the contents to get a decent insurance payout. It does happen.

Let's face it, thieves don't generally hand purses in. I wouldn't worry about it

TanMateix · 07/06/2019 11:49

True

BIWI · 07/06/2019 11:57

Namechanged for this obviously

Why?

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