Help me explain non-binary to my mum

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

Someone we know had come out as non-binary. The who doesn't matter. My mum can not get her head round this and keeps asking me what the difference between being non-binary and being bisexual is. It doesn't matter how many times I tell her the two things aren't related, she still doesn't get it. I'm not saying I have the best understanding but she's driving me slowly insane.

Can anyone help explain in words of one syllable or less why the two things aren't connected?

www.minus18.org.au/index.php/articles/item/28-760-i-just-came-out-as-non-binary-heres-what-that-means

Honestly not meant to be goady. But I've been going around in circles for about an hour and she just keeps saying 'I don't get it'.

I wish I knew OP. I'm pretty young and right on, but I struggle to engage with non binary as a Thing.

Lots of people don't get it. As long as she's being respectful to the individual and not being offensive in any way, I'm not quite sure what you can do.

I'm not entirely sure I understand it fully myself tbh.

No, I'm not sure my understanding is quite as it should be, but the annoying thing is she won't let it drop and I don't know how many more times I can say the same thing

So are you saying you don't quite understand it, but you're annoyed that your mum doesn't ?

"Mum, it means despite them being an actual male/female, they don't actually WANT to be categorised as male or female so we're all forced to pretend they're neither.
We know what s/he really is. Just call him/her what s/he wants and hopefully s/he'll grow out of it."

I don't understand it completely but I'm prepared to accept anyone who identifies as non-binary and don't feel the need to discuss it. My mum on the other hand, keeps banging on about it and it's driving me to distraction. There's a big difference.

Well unless I’m wrong too I’d say:

“Mum one likes shagging men and women, one doesn’t think they are a man or a woman they are just a person and could like shagging one or the other or both or neither, pass me the rich tea”.

'attention-seeking'

That’s because your mum can see it for the nonsensical rubbish it is. Everyone is non-binary, they just don’t feel the need to make and song and a dance about it.

Your mum is right. Non binary should mean rejecting gender stereotypes like we did in the 70s and 80s. Very few of us are accepting of 100% of the socially constructed roles and behaviours imposed on us by society because of our sex. So we're all a bit non binary.

But no. These tossers instead want to demand that we ignore their biological sex and pretend it has no bearing on anything. So you get men demanding women let them access their spaces and women demanding that women censor and qualify the language they have for themselves. The oppression of women in vast swathes of the world who don't get to "non binary" themselves out of FGM, forced/underage marriage, compulsory religious clothing, forced prostitution, denial of an education, honour killing - means nothing to them. They get to be more special than boring old feminists or gay rights activists even though they fight for nothing but their own narcissism.

In short, it's a load of bollocks.

I think your mum is spot on. How can you explain gibberish?

pachyderm
That wasn't short but it was spot on as an explanation of non binary.
If I were you op I wouldn't bother trying to explain, just say well ok Mum, I don't understand it either maybe let's just live and let live.

Tell her to google it ? Just a random idea

"It's a load of bollocks" is the short version

It’s basically a privileged middle-class person who wants to lay claim to oppression by adopting an apparently minority label, despite the fact that the overwhelming majority of the population does not conform to socially-constructed gender stereotypes. They are more special than you, see?

They are ever so very special. Is there any young person who isn't?

pachyderm ok love the short version, I'll go with that🤣

While I agree it’s a pile of pish sadly many young ASD “girls” are now identifying as non binary as a means of trying to fit it/ mange their confusion around puberty. My response usually is along the “that’s nice “ line”

giggly I reckon non-binary is better for those girls than "I am a trans man and must immediately become sterile/chop my tits off", sadly.

I'm with your mum.