Help me explain non-binary to my mum

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

Someone we know had come out as non-binary. The who doesn't matter. My mum can not get her head round this and keeps asking me what the difference between being non-binary and being bisexual is. It doesn't matter how many times I tell her the two things aren't related, she still doesn't get it. I'm not saying I have the best understanding but she's driving me slowly insane.

Can anyone help explain in words of one syllable or less why the two things aren't connected?

Your poor mum is just expressing a logical reaction to this utter bullshit.

It's basically The Emperor's New Clothes. Anyone with an ounce of sense sees through the whole nonsense.

There isn’t anything in the thread to suggest the OP or her mother have been unkind. It’s a discussion between the two of them that has become frustrating for the OP.

It's this whole 'coming out' thing that makes it attention seeking. What is there to announce? Wear what you want. No one cares. Act feminine or masculine. No one cares. If you want to be called 'they' just tell people.

Treating it like it's the same as telling your parents you're gay or trans is a load of crap.

Depends on her musical era. Maybe reference David Bowie or Boy George?

Why not let them explain it to her themselves.
? If they are close enough for it to matter that she understands they are close enough to say tell us how you fee and what it means to you.
If they are not close enough to ask them a vauge overview is enough anyway.

Does non binary mean asexual?

Just say “It really doesn’t matter what it means, Mum - it just means X wants to be called by their name and not he/she anymore”

@sue51 as far as I understand it being non-binary/gender fluid has nothing to do with sexuality. Some non-binary people might be asexual, just as some men or women might be. I don't think there's any correlation between the two. But happy to be corrected if I'm wrong.

"Maybe reference David Bowie or Boy George?"

my mum is 80. She was a fan of Boy George but that wouldn't help her at all - understandably she'd just say he's a man.

OP I appreciate the conversation is frustrating but I would just ask her to stop talking about it. Or do as a pp said and point her to Fair Play for Women.

Lol at spegg!

She might be annoying but sometimes the innocent incredulity about this gender jamboree is actually the only sane response.
I imagine innocent incredulity looks like this

It's as clear as mud.

Depends on her musical era. Maybe reference David Bowie or Boy George?

Why?

Simply because it’s a context for gender fluidity she might be able to grasp.

No it’s not, they’re both happy being male and have no claim on ‘non-binary.’

It’s really disingenuous to foist silly labels on people.

Mindtheminotaur that did make me giggle mid-coffee sip

It actually had no meaning.

Your Mother doesn't understand because it's nonsense.

Oh god, is enby new? Do we have to say that now?

Fucking hell, I can't take any more of this gibberish language we're all supposed to adhere too.

I would also like to know.

There is a poster in my office inviting "women and non binary people" to a free lunch.

And I am too scared to ask what it means! (or why there's a free lunch for us/them)

Nigel to me that means biological women, plus men who don't conform to a gender stereotype, can come for lunch.

OMFG. I also groaned at "enby".

Wait. If you're non-binary you get free food???

I'd argue that there's no such thing as gender so we can all be non binary. Free lunch for me.

but seriously, looks like in that example, free lunch for biological women.

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie

Oh lovely. Ladies (some of whom will have been the victim of Male violence, sexism, assault, etc) can have lunch, while listening to a man telling them how he’s the most oppressed because he’s (insert whatever label you want). Couldn’t possibly have women dare to have one thing that excludes men.

OP, your annoyed with your mum because her constant questioning is showing you that it’s a load of old shite.

This is one of the most sensible threads I've ever read on MN!