Help me explain non-binary to my mum

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

Someone we know had come out as non-binary. The who doesn't matter. My mum can not get her head round this and keeps asking me what the difference between being non-binary and being bisexual is. It doesn't matter how many times I tell her the two things aren't related, she still doesn't get it. I'm not saying I have the best understanding but she's driving me slowly insane.

Can anyone help explain in words of one syllable or less why the two things aren't connected?

Yes it's attention seeking nonsense from people who don't understand that we are all non binary, on account of being people, not a collection of sexist stereotypes. Personality, we used to call it.

Is the enby person a they too? As in not a he / she?

They is an enby.

Just googled enby & apparently you can't just call a non binary person an enby, they like to be asked first or they could be offended by the word enby!

And there's actually a non binary flag! You can order it off amazon. Here it is!

Well you learn something new every day & today I learned about non binary. I read a blog post by a enby & I feel a bit bad saying that they did look like a woman which they originally was despite trying their best to look non binary & different but never mind.

It's a pretty flag though

It is.

I am actually curious to know if anyone believes this themselves?

That flag is too busy for my taste. I wonder what the colours represent.

The purple on the flag is definitely representing Speggs

It's hard to explain something that's pure crap.

OP I like the sounds of your mum, I agree the short version would be best!

There is no explaining someone else's constantly evolving invented fantasy life and the reasoning behind it, why try?

It's a while since this thread started - how is your mum getting on with the idea of non-binary?

Is your mum a completely stereotypical female person? If not, tell her that makes her non-binary, like most people, but that the person in question has decided to try to make a big deal of it.

To be honest I've just shut down any conversation she tries to strike up about it.

To be honest I've just shut down any conversation she tries to strike up about it.

Why? Is it her lack of understanding or because you know that non binary is a load of crap and don’t want to admit that to her?

That flag is a doozy!

Shouldn't it be just one colour, though? More than one colour implies a binary of some sort...

@S1naidSucks I've shut her down because I really don't have the energy to go round and round in circles trying to explain it to her....again. The person who has said they're non-binary is so far removed from her, they're never likely to meet so there's no real need for her to 'get' it.

Bisexual is about fancying men and women. Non binary is that you recognise male and female characterics of yourself and don’t want to be known as either a man or a woman.

Disclaimer: This can only really be a thing if you believe that the essence of male or female is essentially stereotypes, so many people don’t agree on binary is a ‘thing’. Non binary people would presumably disagree with that.

In reality just treating them kindly and steering clear of gender topics is probably fine.

Definitely steer clear of gender topics. Unless you have unlimited free time and hate yourself.

That flag is half suffragette isn't it? What do the other two colours represent? Are non binary people actually part suffragette, part grand Prix?

Someone who doesn't see themselves in the new wave of stereotypical masculinity and femininity but rather than challenging the growing gender orthodoxies by saying 'screw gender stereotypes because they're damaging to men and women, why don't we embrace everyone's individuality regardless of genitals', they want to join in a game of oppression top trumps.

Many gender critical women probably tick the non-binary principle. They're just quite happy getting on with being a woman.

Maybe your mum could raise the topic on Gransnet?
She'd likely get a good chat going on there. (serious suggestion)

I chose those colours for my fantasy football team last season. Who knew?!

Had a crap season.