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Original poster

If you are pro choice...

356 replies

Doubledoubledenim · 30/05/2019 19:31

Name changed for this

I really want to ask some questions for anyone happy to answer about feelings on abortion. I don’t feel like its an approachable subject I can talk about IRL as everyone I know is venomously pro choice and if I start to put forward a view which isn’t the same as theirs they get really quite aggressive and defensive.

So, if you are pro choice does that include late term abortions or would you feel differently about one at 6 weeks to one at 24 weeks? Also a lot of people say it’s the woman’s body so her choice - would that reason still stand for later abortions or would you think it would need to be a serious medical reason for baby/mum to justify this? Or does pro choice mean pro choice for you meaning any reason and any time within the legal limit is ok.

I hope I’ve worded this in a completely inoffensive way as I really don’t want to upset anyone it might affect.

OP posts:
PickleC · 31/05/2019 08:39

@Pinkyyy actually it is easy for me to defend terminating a healthy pregnancy or in cases you don't deem 'extreme' because I defend a woman's right to choose. I don't get the right to tell someone that their circumstances aren't good enough - if they believe that having that child is not right for them then that is their choice.

beargryllshasabigrope · 31/05/2019 08:42

@Zindaa the parents get to decide because it is their decision to make. That 23 week baby survived because science is amazing, the parents are capable of caring for the baby (I assume) and the baby is likely to go on to have a happy, loving life.

See the point below about the adoption system. Who is going to take on these (tiny percentage of) babies if women aren't allowed to make decisions that they feel are in the best interests of themselves and their child.

How are people so blinkered? Late term abortions aren't ideal at all, I doubt anyone is jumping from the rooftops that situations arise where they are necessary. But they are necessary.

Bluestitch · 31/05/2019 08:43

I'm sorry but what is the anecdote about the woman terminating because she doesn't want a 'baby belly' in photos supposed to prove? That she should be forced to go through pregnancy and childbirth as punishment for being too flippant? In the event that this story is true does it sound like this woman is in any way ready to have a child? Punishing supposed 'feckless' and irresponsible women by denying them abortions benefits nobody, including the potential child. I'd argue it's a very good thing that abortion in available in those circumstances.

DameFanny · 31/05/2019 08:44

Outoutout if " In my office a girl has just taken a day off to have one. Her reason is that her new boyfriend of four months has booked a holiday for them both to Jamacia in September, and she

"doesnt want any belly in her holiday photos"" is the full story and she's not skating over the real reasons because it's personal, then is this a person you want raising a child anyway?

And birth control fails - especially if you're using a fertility tracking app designed and promoted by forced-birthers :-(

www.theguardian.com/world/2019/may/30/revealed-womens-fertility-app-is-funded-by-anti-abortion-campaigners?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Copy_to_clipboard

Deathgrip · 31/05/2019 08:45

You can't get pregnant by accident. You have to have sex first. Every tyoe of contraception states clearly that it's not 100% reliable, there is always a risk of pregnancy. If you're not mature enough to accept this risk, then you're not mature enough to be having sex in the first place

So your suggestion is abstinence from sex for everyone who’s not old enough or financially stable enough to be a good parent?

Yeah, that’ll work.

Also, if any of those immature poor people do dare to have sex and get pregnant, forcing them to birth and support an actual human being for life as punishment seems like a really sensible and not at all cruel thing to do. I’m sure that would have no impact on society at all.

Have you not read Freakonomics? Heard of the Donohue-Levitt hypothesis?
freakonomics.com/2005/05/15/abortion-and-crime-who-should-you-believe/

SoyDora · 31/05/2019 08:45

If all these selfish women are aborting because they are selfish, feckless, vain, prioritise themselves over their unborn child etc, do you think they will make good parents?

Excited101 · 31/05/2019 08:46

I’m incredibly pro choice, but I feel like the legal limit should be put a week shorter to 23 weeks.

JacquesHammer · 31/05/2019 08:47

As early as possible as late as necessary available to every woman.

I don’t judge people who are pro-life for themselves.

I wholeheartedly judge people who are pro-life and suggest other women should follow that stance. They’re not pro-life, they’re pro-forced birth. Appalling stance.

Outoutout · 31/05/2019 08:47

Banning abortions doesn't lead to fewer abortions

Yes. Because we aren't promoting responsability. We promote a womans "right" to choice. We promote "right" to contraception. We promote the "right" to have a free and fulfilling sex life. But we don't ever promote the need to be responsible. Why?

Stop getting pregnant when you aren't in a position to raise a child. It's not rocket science.

Nameusernameuser · 31/05/2019 08:47

I'm 100% pro choice, whatever time, whatever the reason is. I just don't think I get to decide what happens to someone else's body and life.
If abortion was criminalised everywhere, where will all the unwanted children go? Who on earth is going to look after them?

PickleC · 31/05/2019 08:48

The argument that the price for having sex can be pregnancy and if it is then tough you just have to go through with it is horrific. Celibacy or you have to have the child no matter what eh? Of course ignoring that in cases of rape or incest there was no choice and that in some abusive relationships it may not always be the most full and free choice to have sex with someone.

Two people I know always told me that if you get accidentally pregnant then you must be daft - guess which two people got accidentally pregnant. Both chose to have their now much loved children but the point was that was their choice to make.

SinkGirl · 31/05/2019 08:49

I’m incredibly pro choice, but I feel like the legal limit should be put a week shorter to 23 weeks

Why?

Outofinspiration · 31/05/2019 08:49

A woman who has an abortion because 'she doesn't want a baby belly in the photos' is exactly the sort of woman who shouldnt be having a baby at that point in time anyway!

SinkGirl · 31/05/2019 08:49

Do you honestly believe that there’s a significant difference between an abortion at 23+6 or at 24+1?

Outoutout · 31/05/2019 08:50

deathgrip

Yes. Yes I am suggesting that people shouldn't have sex. If you read my post properly you would understand that's my point. It's called responsability.

Outofinspiration · 31/05/2019 08:51

The argument that the price for having sex can be pregnancy and if it is then tough you just have to go through with it is horrific. Celibacy or you have to have the child no matter what eh?

I think men would take issue with the 'celibacy' option so I guess that leaves 'you have to have the child no matter what'...

Bluestitch · 31/05/2019 08:52

Outoutout what about women in abusive situations for whom sex isn't a full choice? What about women with MH issues, addictions, LDs, chaotic and difficult lifestyles who aren't always able to make the best choices (and who are often those presenting later for terminations).

Deathgrip · 31/05/2019 08:52

Stop getting pregnant when you aren't in a position to raise a child. It's not rocket science.

Again, only 1.8% of abortions are carried out after 21 weeks and almost all of them are for severe medical issues.

Even if they weren’t, the only way to guarantee no pregnancy is not having sex (and not being raped). Do you think there’s any chance that everyone who doesn’t want a child will abstain from sex, potentially for decades? Of course not.

JacquesHammer · 31/05/2019 08:54

It's called responsability

We take responsibility. We use contraception correctly and carefully.

There is a further legal option available to me if the contraception fails. Why would I then need to abstain?

Parker231 · 31/05/2019 08:54

Am 100% pro choice - at whatever time and for whatever reason. It is 100% a women’s decision.

Outoutout · 31/05/2019 08:54

Pickle

Why is it horrific? You're suggesting that not having sex is horrific? A little melodramatic isn't it?

Masturbation, mutual or otherwise, oral sex, the list goes on. You can have a perfectly happy sex life without risking pregnancy. Again, it's called responsability.

WatchingTheWheels85 · 31/05/2019 08:54

For me it's as early as possible as late as necessary for whatever reason.

SoyDora · 31/05/2019 08:55

Yes. Yes I am suggesting that people shouldn't have sex. If you read my post properly you would understand that's my point. It's called responsability

But for those who have had sex, and who are pregnant with an unwanted baby, it’s a good idea to force them to give birth to it and raise it? Because that will need to a great outcome for the child?

Smokeahontas · 31/05/2019 08:58

I cannot sum it up any better than Biancadelrioisback

Deathgrip · 31/05/2019 08:58

Yes. Yes I am suggesting that people shouldn't have sex. If you read my post properly you would understand that's my point. It's called responsability.

You can “suggest” it all you want. It’s never going to happen. And even if you did manage to convince everyone to abstain unless they want a child (look at how ineffective abstinence-only education is in parts of America), you’d also need to stop men from raping women, men from subjecting their girlfriends and wives to abuse and coersion, etc.

Good luck with that. Back in the real world, forcing women to go through a pregnancy they don’t want is unspeakable. It’s also a disgusting thing to do to a child, but people who advocate this don’t really give a shit about the children once they’re born.

Do you have children? Pregnancy and birth was one of the most horrendous experiences of my life (up against stiff competition) and that was when I very much wanted a child. I’m now raising two disabled children, which is fine because I chose to have children and disability is always a possibility when you have kids.

Forcing women to go through all this as a puritanical punishment for daring to have sex is repugnant.