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Original poster

Anyone else got a share-er partner?

94 replies

PregnantOnPurpose · 29/05/2019 14:43

To get straight to the point.

If we go out for food, he has to have some of what I order. If i order a side he wants to share it. Sometimes if i want a side he doesnt like he will mope about how he cant have some and will have to order a separate side.

If I buy a milkshake or a drink, and ask him if he wants one.. the response j get every single bastard time is "I'll just have some of yours" no, you fucking wont! If you want one get one, I'm paying, justvget one. I dont want to share my milkshake with you, something about sharing a straw really makes my stomach churn anyway.

It's got the point where when I cook dinner in the evenings and ask him to get me a drink when we sit down, he'll either get one drink and just drink mine. Or if I ask if he also wants a drink when I'm getting one he'll again say "I'll just have some of yours"

It drives me absolutely insane. Anyone else have someone like this?!

OP posts:

BlueSkiesLies · 29/05/2019 14:46

Why do you let him?

My DP hates sharing food or drinks and absolutely will not allow me to share something unless explicitly agreed in advance and something separate eg 4 spring rolls.

It’s just his way, and I think the non sharer trumps the sharer.

I prefer to share but I get to do that when I go out to eat with (more normal)) friends 😂

MancaroniCheese · 29/05/2019 14:50

I don't have someone like that, I am someone like that!

I think it is a guilt thing being overweight and not wanting to be seen to be greedy in my case.

DeRigueurMortis · 29/05/2019 14:54

No, but that's because I couldn't live with someone who did this.

If I'm hungry I know what I want to eat and I don't want to factor in how much someone else might consume eg buying a large sandwich rather than a smaller one on the basis someone else is going to take a huge bite out of it.

There was a thread about this a while ago.

Poster was utterly fed up with it.

Her DP was constantly stealing food from her plate before she'd finished (having eaten his at lightning pace), then when out and about not wanting to buy his own Cornish pasty for example (could be crisps/sandwich/drink etc) and insisting on having a "try" oh hers (aka a huge bite/slurp equating to half of what she'd bought and leaving her hungry).

Loads of posters suggested he has some kind of food disorder.

Personally I think it was a combination of being tight and very bad manners.

BarbaraofSevillle · 29/05/2019 15:00

Sharing a straw with your DP makes your stomach churn . Do you never kiss him?

I'm a sharer and I also literally just want a little taste. I don't want to be buying an entire portion of a side, when I only want a few chips for example. Especially when portions are usually so massive, that people are full before they finish them anyway. Saves food and money being wasted.

HoldingTheDoor · 29/05/2019 15:01

I'd have to kill him. I'm happy to let someone have a small taste but they are not eating half of more of my bloody dinner. If I'd wanted a half portion I'd have ordered it.

Nameisthegame · 29/05/2019 15:12

Foods you share, anything family style, Chinese,Indian,African everything that is single plate food no and drinks definitely not get your own meal fgs.

Nameisthegame · 29/05/2019 15:13

Currently struggling with toddler dd who seems to want everything I have to mostly either eat or destroy was so gutted the other day when she threw half my food onto the floor.

Original poster

PregnantOnPurpose · 29/05/2019 15:27

Seems like a mixed response.

To the person who asked if i ever kiss DP due to my own straw issue. Yes, kissing someone is much different to imagining they're half aucked up drinks washing in their mouth then the rest travelling back down the stairs into my drink with their excess saliva. I've always have a weird relationship with strws, not my DP. I can share a fork or a glass with him, but straws just make me turn my nose up.

I dont mind him tasting something different to what he has, like if I order a curry and he has fish and chips, I'll always offer a bit of mine to taste to see if he likes it. I think it's more the uninvited "we'll just share' that irks me. Especially a glass of squash at home. I want my own fucking glass of squash lol.

He will literally be all mopey and acts all hurts and goes quiet if I refuse to share a drink with him. If I explain I'm really thirsty, I just want my own drink. He will get all beat up and tell me 'not to worry' when I ask what he wants.

OP posts:

fedup21 · 29/05/2019 15:29

Just say-every time-

no, you won’t share mine. Get your own. What do you want?

FudgeBrownie2019 · 29/05/2019 15:30

The answer? Loudly shot "Joey doesn't share food" into the faces of everyone who does this. It really works.

I share with the DC. I just don't share with other adults who should be fully capable of ordering their own meal that they actually want to eat in the knowledge it will satisfy them. I also don't share straws or drinks with anyone (aside from the DC) because other people's backwash makes me want to vomit.

Ninkaninus · 29/05/2019 15:32

That’s so rude and entitled.

I’d start taking your share of his food, uninvited, all the time. Make sure you order something different to him every time, preferably something he doesn’t really like, and then just as he’s starting to enjoy his dish, reach over and take half his meat or whatever and say oh thank you I’m just taking my share of that.

I’d seriously do that and see how he likes it.

TheRLodger · 29/05/2019 15:34

I dated someone like this once. It was v annoying. I just ignored the moping and did this sort of look

Original poster

PregnantOnPurpose · 29/05/2019 15:37

Laughing at the comments about taking half of his food. I can literally imagine him either getting up and walking out or crying 🤣🤣

Hea the skinniest man I've ever seen too, it's not even like hes a piggy that just keeps eating.

OP posts:

Absolutepowercorrupts · 29/05/2019 15:37

On the surface this doesn't sound too bad but if he's sulking because you won't share, then he's a grade A first class twat. I second suggestions that you say no, I don't want to share. If he persists then yell Joey doesn't share, if that still doesn't work then start taking his food, drink or whatever.
He's behaving very badly. And no I don't share my food, well I will with my grandson

YesQueen · 29/05/2019 15:37

I would be "I am thirsty. Fuck off and get your own"
Maybe that's why I'm single...

HoldingTheDoor · 29/05/2019 15:39

I couldn't bear the sulking. You haven't accidentally married an 8 year old have you? I'd have embedded a fork in his jugular long before now.

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/05/2019 15:39

JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD.

Shout right in his face.

Morgan12 · 29/05/2019 15:40

Joey doesn't share food!!!

Wise words which I live by. And sharing a drink absolutely gives me the heebie jeebies. I don't even share drinks with my children.

Ninkaninus · 29/05/2019 15:41

Seriously though. People like this always, always expect everyone else to just go along with their entitled attitudes. If it’s totally okay for him to do that to you why shouldn’t you do it to him?? It’s not actually funny. It’s rude and it also implies that you don’t have any rights to your own boundaries, your own food. Why should it automatically just be his to take?

He may be doing it realising how out of order he is (I’m being generous here), but if it’s okay for him then it’s okay for you too. And if he doesn’t like it done to him, he shouldn’t do it to you.

Ninkaninus · 29/05/2019 15:42

Sorry *not realising how out of order he is...

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/05/2019 15:46

I'm really bad at sharing. I don't even really like tapas or sharing type places. And I can trace it back to my father. He always wanted to eat off people's plates. Without asking. He also doesn't care about their feelings on the matter. He's nice in most other ways but it does come across as a dominance thing. And would be for primates (which we are of course).

DD shares freely because we ask her and say, "that's fine" if she refuses. So she always offers a chip.

HollowTalk · 29/05/2019 15:53

I grew up with a brother who'd watch my plate (all of our plates actually - big family) and would swipe food off it if you didn't watch out. I remember going to the kitchen to get water and taking my plate with me. A friend of mine is married to a man like this and it brings back the rage I felt when I was young.

Lock him in a basement till he changes his ways, OP!

EggWrap · 29/05/2019 15:54

Just spit out the food you are chewing onto a fork, and offer that to him.

PizzaForPusheen · 29/05/2019 15:55

The drinks thing is very unreasonable of him. It’s a bit invasive, and never getting his own one is a touch weird. Different if he wanted to taste something to see if he liked it or not before ordering but that would only happen occasionally.

I don’t think swapping tastes of different meals when out is at all unreasonable though, and you’re fine with that. It’s about making it a shared experience not just a mealtime.

Sometimes DH and I get two large drinks at the cinema, when he only wants a small, so I can finish his when he’s had enough and then it saves money/getting up to get a second one halfway through the film.

I think you’re probably a bit incompatible with one another. Different sense of boundaries.

JudgeRindersMinder · 29/05/2019 15:58

My sister was murder for this when we were having takeaway.

Note use of the word WAS ...stabbing the back of her hand with a fork worked 😂

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