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Original poster

Anyone else got a share-er partner?

94 replies

PregnantOnPurpose · 29/05/2019 14:43

To get straight to the point.

If we go out for food, he has to have some of what I order. If i order a side he wants to share it. Sometimes if i want a side he doesnt like he will mope about how he cant have some and will have to order a separate side.

If I buy a milkshake or a drink, and ask him if he wants one.. the response j get every single bastard time is "I'll just have some of yours" no, you fucking wont! If you want one get one, I'm paying, justvget one. I dont want to share my milkshake with you, something about sharing a straw really makes my stomach churn anyway.

It's got the point where when I cook dinner in the evenings and ask him to get me a drink when we sit down, he'll either get one drink and just drink mine. Or if I ask if he also wants a drink when I'm getting one he'll again say "I'll just have some of yours"

It drives me absolutely insane. Anyone else have someone like this?!

OP posts:

OopsIHidItAgain · 29/05/2019 18:25

You won't like this OP - I'm a sharer and I have gradually persuaded my adamant non-sharer DP to become a sharer!!
She now sees the benefits!
We have very similar taste in food, so if we go to a restaurant and she likes the sound of two, I'm probably sat there liking the sound of the same two, so we'll get both and we each have custody of our favourite one but we eat a good portion of the other.

Or we'll get a large chips, with the intention of sharing it.
Or a large milkshake if we both fancy the same one, and yep share it!
Or if we fancy different ones, we'll get one each, but again, end up having significant gulps of the other!
We'd be your worst nightmare!

MissMogwai · 29/05/2019 18:27

Nope. I couldn't be doing with that. I don't mind sharing chinese or Indian food if eating out with friends but that's it.

Luckily for me (and him) my DP wouldn't dream of risking his life by doing any of that nonsense. Sharing a drink! Tight and weird!

The only person I will happily share with is my baby granddaughter as she is a chip stealing little angel.

Absolutepowercorrupts · 29/05/2019 18:29

Oops, what you're describing is not the same at all, he just wants her food and drink. This is not about 2 people ordering 2meals and sharing them, It's about the op ordering her meal and him taking her food and drink.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 29/05/2019 18:30

DH and I shared everything. I would pass him meat, he would do the same for me. If we were out together and fancied a bottle of water or pop, we usually would just get one and share it. Nothing to do with being tight, just the way we were. I was out for dinner with DS the other day and he carved a whole chunk of his steak and plopped it in my plate before he had even taken a bite. It made me smile at how much like his dad he is. We also share takeaways, pizzas, desserts.. you would hate us!

Foslady · 29/05/2019 18:31

I’d go all out PA on him ‘No, it’s ok, I didn’t want a full glass, after all, what normal people want to drink their own drinks’ - but food - that’s fork stabbing!

FaithInfinity · 29/05/2019 18:39

This would drive me mad! Given what you’ve said, I would say to him before dinner tonight I really hate it when you share my drink/take food off my plate. From tonight onwards, I won’t be allowing it . Then stand your ground. If he doesn’t order a drink, I agree with pp, order two. If he tries to take your food, say you don’t want him taking your food! It’s good that you’re out with other people tonight too. It’s bad that he does this when you hate it, it’s awful that he sulks if he doesn’t get his own way.

Ninkaninus · 29/05/2019 18:48

Also don’t call it ‘sharing my food’ - he’s not fucking sharing it, he’s just bloody taking!

Ninkaninus · 29/05/2019 18:53

How can people still be missing the point that obviously it’s fine if the both of you like to share between you? This is not the same in any way!! This is selfish and entitled taking from someone else, made even worse with, whiny, wounded, martyrish behaviour. It’s really not okay. I’d seriously be asking him what his problem is.

Happynow001 · 29/05/2019 18:54

I'm quite protective of my food - comes from being from a large family maybe. Several brothers all much bigger and quicker eaters than me and me going hungry because I wasn't quick enough. I sometimes politely offer to share a little but I may have stabbed a hand which tried to take food off my plate. Well - they had been warned!! 😁

CheddarandCrackers · 29/05/2019 18:56

I was out for dinner with DS the other day and he carved a whole chunk of his steak and plopped it in my plate

Do you really think that's nice?? If you had wanted a steak, you surely would have ordered a steak, not wait to be doled out a piece from the big man's plate! FFS. Sometimes I think women like you have your head up your fucking arse.

Ninkaninus · 29/05/2019 18:58

Never mind the obvious difference that at least he was giving instead of presuming entitlement to just take!

H2OH20Everywhere · 29/05/2019 19:01

I'm a sharer but that's not sharing.

I often won't have chips, but will nick one from DP's plate. Same with pudding - I'll get a fruit salad but will try his if I like the look of it. But it would only be a little taste. He does not mind at all.

I was surprised the first time he had something I'd wanted, and he offered me a taste. Not only that, but he was gobsmacked I was going to lift it of the spoon instead of using the spoon as intended. But I was used to a friend of mine who would not share a thing, and once made me order a pudding because he refused to let me taste his, and he wouldn't join in everyone else having a taste of each others' dishes either. Having been around this friend for a number of years DP was like a breath of fresh air.

I would do as others have suggested and just order two of each, especially if he's not ordering a starter or whatever, and hand one to him.

Butterymuffin · 29/05/2019 19:03

If tonight he says re drinks 'I'll just have some of yours', say 'actually, I'm really thirsty but why don't you just have some of your mum's? Is that all right with you, Judy?' The look on her face should set him straight.

I'd also ask for an extra glass of tap water every time and tell him 'that's yours' if he tried to drink your drink.

take some cash out of his wallet and say "I'll just pay with some of yours."

STONE COLD GENIUS

RedDogsBeg · 29/05/2019 19:17

H2OH20Everywhere But I was used to a friend of mine who would not share a thing, and once made me order a pudding because he refused to let me taste his, and he wouldn't join in everyone else having a taste of each others' dishes either.

Why was this friend in the wrong? Why did you feel entitled to have a taste of his pudding?

Sharing or tasting is perfectly acceptable if that is what both (or several people as the case may be) AGREE to, it is unacceptable to assume sharing, tasting or taking of others food as if it is some God given right.

dustybluebell · 29/05/2019 19:56

I totally understand OP. Not sure why they would do that, but I throughly sympathise. My DH is a bit like yours. He told me to fuck off over a slice of cake once.. he asked for a bite which I gave him, then the kids all wanted a bit which I gave them the smallest of morsels, (they'd had their own 'different' cake) then he asked for another bite at which point I thrust the cake at him and said 'just eat it' to which he flipped out and told me to fuck off as I was aggressive and over reacting!

LadyOfTheCanyon · 29/05/2019 20:02

Oh my God my blood pressure is critical just reading this. I can't even do tapas. It gives me the rage.

I occasionally go out with friends who always want sharer plates but have completely different tastes in food to me ( I'm 95% vegetarian)- so they will very begrudgingly let me order one plate that I really like and then insist on also eating that when they can literally eat anything else on the table.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 29/05/2019 20:38

I'm 95% vegetarian

Ooh, you've done it now, you dropped the V bomb....

BenWillbondsPants · 29/05/2019 20:42

If anyone takes something off my plate I will not be held responsible for the injuries they will sustain. BEN DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!

BenWillbondsPants · 29/05/2019 20:44

How can someone be 95% vegetarian? You're either veggie or you're not, surely?

Cherrysoup · 29/05/2019 21:04

@FaithInfinity has it exactly. He sulks? Tell him you don’t share drinks etc, he already knows this yet still pushes then when refused sulks. He’s not a toddler! Refusing to order his own is plain weird. Does he have a disorder around food? Some odd hang ups?

Kzzzzz · 29/05/2019 21:05

It’s the drinks thing that I can’t get my head around - like why won’t he just order himself a drink or make more than 1 drink at home? It’s bloody bizarre

FrangipaniBlue · 29/05/2019 21:25

OP please have my first LTB.

This entire thread has sent my heart rate up by about 50bpms. Seriously I'm having palpitations.

FRANGIPANI DOESNT SHARE FOOD!!!!

LadyOfTheCanyon · 29/05/2019 22:30

Well I'd say I eat vegetarian 95% of the time. I eat meat the remaining 5% of the time. Is that clearer?

BenWillbondsPants · 29/05/2019 22:48

@LadyOfTheCanyon, sorry I wasn't trying to piss you off or be rude (really I wasn't!). I probably eat a similar amount of veggie food but don't consider myself anywhere near vegetarian because I eat some meat. I kind of think of it like saying someone is a little bit vegan but still has a small amount of dairy products IYKWIM? Just a different take on it.

LadyOfTheCanyon · 29/05/2019 22:55

Understood! My husband is veggie which accounts for the majority of our intake and we are trying to reduce dairy. I generally only eat meat if I'm out for a nice meal, and not even always then, as a lot of my friends are veggie and vegan. I am working on the remaining 5%!

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