AIBU to want to name my own child

[Sugarspiceandeverythingnice]

So just had baby no.3, a girl after 2 boys. I never named my boys my in laws always did, however i liked the first name and was happy to keep it. i wasnt so happy with the 2nd but have obviously grown to like it and couldnt imagine him being called anything else now.
My daughter however is the one name id like to keep. Im happy to listen to other peoples opinions and options. Before she was born we had chosen a name which we both really like and still do however MIL doesnt like it and now because her opinion is valued most in DHs eyes we cannot name her that. im upset about it because i went through a difficult long labour with her and generally had a tiring pregnancy with 2 other small kids.

AIBU to say something or should i just let them all choose and keep the peace.

YOUR child, YOUR name.

Your DH is a dick too. It's not up to his mother.

Why on earth did you let your IL name your children?!! No way would I have allowed that. Put your foot down and say the name you've chosen for your DD is the one she's having and if they don't like it, tough. She's YOUR child.

Good grief!

Who named your mother in law/ogres children?

If your husband doesn’t respect your choosing the name over his mother’s choosing then something is terribly wrong with your relationship.

Are you part of a cult?

It's nothing to do with the IL's it is entirely the parents' decision. A child's name is one of the few areas of parenting where you truely get free choice... at least for a few years anyway!

You will be using the name constantly for 18+ years. You need to be as confident as possible that you love it.

We did consult with relatives where we were using another family name, but that's different to being dictated to.

Don't be daft, OP! Just say "This is my baby. You named your babies and I'll name mine."

And congratulations

It's piss all to do with them talk about controlling!! I'd tell them to do one! It isn't their choice or their child!!

OP, do you come from a culture where PIL get to decide these things?

I would never accept my inlaws to decide about such a manner and the fact that your DH thinks its normal seems a red flag to me.

What other things do they decide for you?

Heh? I can't actually believe the behaviour some people think is appropriate. Your MIL and DH need to fuck right off.

Honest to god OP why the hell are you with a man who watched you go through that and then took away the one thing you get out of it at the end? Naming your beautiful new baby, tell him that IS her name or he can politely fu*k of 😁

This is exactly why you shouldn't tell anyone your name choice before it's official. Then no one can announce they don't like it/dont approve. And if they do it's too bloody late.

It really is fuck all to do with your in laws what your children are named. Nothing to do with them whatsoever.

Tell them no end off they had there chance to name not only there own kids but your boys too. You hubby needs to stand up to them.

What else do you not get a say in, op?

I’m concerned that your husband and his family are controlling you in other ways.

Is this an English family? Have previously dated within a culture where children had to be named after grandparents, I was definitely worried about having children with the in laws names but I understood not making a fuss and upsetting the tradition But it's your baby, you choose, also have words with DH, mummy isn't always right, but if she is so good perhaps he'd like to go stay there for a few nights. - with the children, since they have such an important role in the children's lives, give you a break and let you recover.

I don't think just keeping the peace works because where is the line, do they decide on schools? Hobbies? Great grandchildrens names?

Your MIL should fuck the fuck off to the far side of fuck. YOU name YOUR child.

Are you from a culture where parents/ in-laws get a say in their grown up children's decisions? You need to sit down with your husband and explain how it isn't on. It's none of her business.

Take your child to the registry office and call her the name YOU want..

Seems odd your DH values your MIL's opinion over yours. Usually parents name their children. Put your foot down on this right now.

I’m aware that grandparent choosing names is expected in some cultures, is this the case here? In the majority of British households babies names are chosen by their parents. You would not be at all unreasonable to insist on one you and your husband can agree on. This might come as a surprise to them and cause conflict, and it’s very much up to you if you want to deal with the fallout.

Dh is from a culture where the ILs choose the name. I had a name and the ILs didn't like it. She threw a strop for a few weeks and told the relatives she was called something else, but she survived and my dd has the name I picked

What the fuck?
Your womb, your baby, your choice.
This is craziness!

Tell them all especially your in laws to jog on!!

Go register your daughter the name you wish to name her .. there is no law nor sin in any faith culture or whatever that says you do not or cannot do this

well apparently DH no longer likes the name we chose which is bullshit and says she doesnt suit that name and i dont like the name hes now chosen. its not a cultural thing its just his family, they like to think they have an importance in decisions such as these.

i just hate arguing especially with his family and tbh i dont have the strength for it atm.