I need 500k

[WhatGatsby]

I need to jack in my job, buy a house and set up my own fabulous business.
It’s a good business, for the good of humanity.

How can I do this?

I did win a tenner on a scratch card yesterday so that’s a start.

Invest the tenner and wait a few hundred years?

What’s the business? Might there be start up funding available?

Think that's a bit steep even for Dragon's Den where sometimes only a concept will do. Sounds very high risk. Why can you not start smaller?

You keep your job, rent cheaper and use all your free time setting up your business and getting sales, clients until you reach a tipping point that you have to quit the day job.

After several years of business prudence and growth and seeking investment where necessary. You should be in a position to buy a house.

Then, once the business has reached sufficient worth sell it and you should have your 500k.

Does that help?

Smaller is in progress but in a bit of a loop. Need to drop hours to commit to business, but cant afford to drop hours, and need premises.

Also i cant count and have no business sense. This may be a problem.

Also, cant be arse to walk up the shop and buy a lottery ticket. But also need ice for my gin. Procrastination is also a pro bleh.

That’s a lot of also.

If you can't be arsed to walk to the shop you may be a tad lacking on motivation to launch your global empire !

I’m waiting for the univers to provide. But its taking a long time.

Do the lottery online.

I’m waiting for the univers to provide. But its taking a long time.

I’m guessing this is supposed to be lighthearted but realistically, you’re best off getting a stable job in a bank than doing that.

Kickstarter

I need 12 million pounds for a private island.

If anyone has it spare I would be grateful.

Yes I have checked my sofa,

OP couldn't wait any longer for the ice and has downed all the gin.

I like the idea of investing a tenner and waiting a few hundred years.

Anyone got a billion squids going spare?

I know exactly where I want to buy a house when I win the Euromillions lottery. I have never in my life played the Euromillions, but I think its important to plan ahead.

Hi hun!!! dm me for advise on how to have a full time income on part time hours!!! a car plan!!! fab! Holidays abroad!!! and a lovely empowering team of #bossbabes to support you!!!

Btw, what is your stance on aloe vera?

Draw up a letter outlining your basic secretive plan that will guarantee people receiving £500K for very little effort and will only require that they invest an upfront non-returnable 'trust' bond of £500, payable by cheque, to prove that they are seriously committed to the scheme and are not a timewaster.

Set up an anonymous PO box and then send a copy of the letter to 1,000 gullible people.

Caution: may be technically fraud and thus likely stand in direct moral opposition to your desired longer-term actual business.

I know exactly where I want to buy a house when I win the Euromillions lottery. I have never in my life played the Euromillions

You do realise that, by never actually playing the Euromillions, that does mean that you will have a very tiny, marginally lower chance of winning than those who do - don't you?

Cosmic ordering op. If it works for Noel Edmonds.....

Is this where we sign up for handouts from the universe? Anyone know about how long we’ll have to wait? If it’s going to be after 5pm I have to let my neighbor know so she can feed my cat.

Hi this is Mr Bob from Wanttomakeamillion Ltd we are big big investors in many best industries you can be sending me all of your bank card details I will most assuredly be sending you all of the full investment I just need a £3000 deposit for administration pls send to [email protected]

Watch that Ted talk on the guy who swapped a paper clip for a house - trading up

I have very carefully planned for my Euromillions jackpot. I’d be a responsible winner. I’m even prepared to take the chance that it’ll wreck my life. And I still haven’t won. The universe is working against me