I need 500k

[WhatGatsby]

I need to jack in my job, buy a house and set up my own fabulous business.
It’s a good business, for the good of humanity.

How can I do this?

I once heard of a very young man who was a billionaire, and he was asked to tell his life story so far.

Apparently, from when he was just 4 years old, he would buy gnarly, shabby-looking apples from the local greengrocer for 10p each, spend half an hour on each one, polishing them up beautifully, so shiny - until you could see your face in them - and then sell them on for 30p each.

He did this every day - a dozen apples a day - from the age of 4 right up until he was 18.

Then, his grandad, who had been an international oil baron, died suddenly and left him a billion pounds.

Depending on your current age and family circumstances, might this work for you, OP?

To be fair, I could do with £500K too, but in all honesty, I just want it to retire on. I don't have the energy or drive anymore to set up a business.
Just putting it out there in case there is a benevolent multi-millionaire out there who doesn't know what to do with their money

@WeBuilt

I’ll lend it to you. I mean, I’ll have to sell my house, risking the children’s future stability but you sound like a solid investment so worth the risk?

This is a most happy day. I am a director of a bank and our cultural attache for the honest government has deposited $5,000,000 in an account to be sent to your country. International regulations mean we must find an agent with a bank account in your country. The agent must be of good reputation and will be rewarded with 10% of the money. Please send me $500 to show you are a trusty person.

I wouldn’t mind £500K, can I have it after you?

Amazing! I now have 70 million quid waiting to arrive in my bank account.

Anyone want to buy some aloe Vera?

Still have no ice but frozen strawberries work the same.

I also need lots of money to fund a lifestyle that I haven't had (yet) but could become accustomed to.
I have a few irons in the fire so to speak, so far I have provided my full bank details to :
The lawyer looking after the estate of millionaire uncle that I didn't know I had, who tragically died in airplane crash abroad.
A lady who is going to wire millions into my account and share them 50/50 with me (tragic back story from a nigerian princess)
A foreign lottery that I don't remember buying a ticket for or even visiting the country.
Also waiting on an international compensation payment, not quite sure what for and never made a claim.

As soon as these come in, I will share the wealth.

If it's really for the good of humanity, obviously take the crowd fund route. Course, that would require you to reveal and detail your big idea, which you might be reluctant to do.....if you are indeed reluctant to reveal, then this tells me it's more of a capitalist less philanthropic venture. So there you have your answer OP. By the way, this post reads as slightly 'pissed up' Saturday night. The world is full of procrastinators and few dooers.

If you want the secret to how to obtain £500k to start a business that runs itself - no effort needed, just send me £250 and I will reveal it.
PO Box 15awUC0m1ng

I’ve bern alone some hours. Gin has been opened. This is always where my best ideas happen. I shall ponder as the evening unfolds. This could be a Very Good Thing.

You have no business sense?
No motivation to even go to the shop for ice?
You can’t count?

For those reasons I’m out 🤣🤣

Just call yourself a millionaire, go into fancy shops with your Tesco club card and tell staff it’s actually a JP Morgan Chase Palladium Visa and use it to buy expensive items, which you can then sell on eBay. You’ll have your £500k in no time.

Well if people can change ‘sex’ just by wishing it, then I think that the shops would be showing their (fear of rich people) by not accepting your self I’d. We should both go for it, OP. This time next year we could be millionaires.

showing their plutophobia

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3986050/Billionaire-Richard-Lugner-84-famous-paying-famous-women-dance-Vienna-divorces-26-year-old-Playboy-bunny-wife-two-years-marriage.html
Apologies for Daily Fail link but would marrying billionaire Richard work for you? I don't think counting or business sense are at the top of his requirements for a mate.
Actually you wouldn't even have to marry him, he paid 500K for one night of Kim Kardashian's company.

Cmon. What's the idea OP? !!!!!! You have your big moment, seize it!!!!!

If there was any hanky panky involved half a million wouldn't be enough !

@flapjackfairy all you need is a millionaire with an indecent proposal.

Where's Robert Redford when you need him?!

I see you've already checked the back of the sofa. What about the other MN tried and tested routes to financial riches - see if you have any points on supermarket loyalty cards? Alternatively, knock on a neighbour's door? MNers, when advising this, always say they would be happy to lend a fiver to a neighbour in need. You only need 100,000 neighbours.

Alternatively, start a MN thread about how this is not a begging thread but my wages are late and my electricity is about to go off. Say you don't have any family, friends, kind neighbours and you're already over your overdraft. Come up with a rebuttal for every single suggestion until you hear the magic words "OP I have PMed you".

Name change and repeat until you have met your target goal.

Have you thought about taking in some ironing?

If you have been given any cheques, don't cancel them.

I also need ice cream.

ask one person to lend you £10 and the following day you'll give them £15. That day you ask another person for £20 and give the first person the £15 pocketing £5. day 3 you ask someone for £40 and you give the £20 person £30 pocketing £10. Keep on doing that for a few more days.

Then start at the beinging again, but increasing the amount you borrow from the first person. This time you ask them to tell as many people as possible about your investing skills and speed of return.

But this time you borrow from them tell them you'll pay back in two days time so you get overlap. Keep on increasing the amount and time for the repayment

keep on pocketing the excess.

Within about 18 months you'll have a few million quid easy least. Don't pay back your last round of mugs investors.

Move the money first to Germany, then Russia Turkmenistan, Panama and finally St Nevis in the Carribbean.

Buy a nice big house on the outskirts of Moscow and move there before the feds catch you, hire some lawyers and sit it out.

Better yet, don't tell your spouse, have them sign every thing up to the transfers to Panama, they can spend the next 150 years in prison with Madoff

I hear there are some Nigerian princes that need help to get their fortunes out of Nigeria?