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How do I ask for money back?

133 replies

PomBearAnyOne2 · 21/05/2019 19:12

I’m in a bit of a pickle and it’s starting to stress me out a bit as I don’t know what to do.

A colleague who I don’t know particularly well, we aren’t close but chat in passing we are FB friends as she adds everyone.
She was admiring a new bag I had bought. She was asking loads of questions where she could get it from, how much and did it come in other colours. I said I had ordered it from America but it didn’t turn out to be such a good buy as the shipping was extortionate and I also got stung by Royal Mail for import / customs fees (can’t quite remember the correct term)

A few days later she started admiring it again, I said my mum also wanted one and I would be ordering if she wanted me to order her one. I sent her the web link through FB that night and she picked what colour she wanted and I ordered it. And sent her the order confirmation screen grab with the price showing.

That was about 2ish months ago, the bags were dispatched within a day or two but they have been stuck at DHL in America for weeks. I only had the Royal Mail fees card the Saturday before last. I went to the sorting office to pay the fees and collect the bags. And gave the bag to colleague last Monday.

She was so very grateful and thanked me and even bought me a small box of chocolates as a thank you. But at no point has she mentioned or asked how much she owes me.

I spoke about it to DH and he is under the impression she thinks I’ve bought this as a gift for her hence the chocolates.
I think he may be right as surely you would ask how much you owed?

I said to him how do I ask her for the money and he said write it off as it’s far to awkward to ask for it now over a week later and I should of mentioned it when I handed the bag over, but with the shipping and RM fees it’s just short of £100 and I really don’t want to write off that amount.

WWYD, would you ask for it? If you would what would you say?

OP posts:
RaptorWhiskers · 23/05/2019 08:37

If she doesn’t pay, take the bag back! Give her a couple of weeks to pay, then tell her you can’t afford to lose the money so if she can’t pay you have another “friend” who wants to buy it. And if she still doesn’t pay, just empty it on the floor and take it! I’d rather bin it than let some cheeky CF have a free bag at my expense!

Waytooearly · 23/05/2019 09:04

Take the tone initially that she just didn't get your screenshot with price.

Send the screenshot again with a cheery 'Glad you like the bag! Here's the receipt. Please transfer x to [bank details]. I'll need it by Friday. Cheers.'

PhalangeReginaPhalange · 23/05/2019 09:25

Hope you get your money back it does sound like she’s being a cf

Pinkyyy · 23/05/2019 09:56

I think that sounded just fine, OP. Now it's just a waiting game to see how she responds.

OhForkItThen · 23/05/2019 12:55

Any reply?

DizzySue · 23/05/2019 12:57

Why didn't you discuss the cost of the bag with her before you ordered it? Of course she thinks it's a gift.

FiremanKing · 23/05/2019 13:53

@DizzySue

Read the thread. She made the colleague fully aware of the price beforehand.

FiremanKing · 23/05/2019 13:54

Well done op. I think your message was fine, straight to the point and telling her not asking her.

BurnedToast · 23/05/2019 13:59

Good grief. Are people really this much of a doormat?

ThatCurlyGirl · 23/05/2019 14:00

Perfect message! Let us know if she replies - fingers crossed it's nice and painless! Smile

Pinkyyy · 23/05/2019 14:02

@BurnedToast I don't think the OP has been a doormat. She expected the woman to pay her and had come to realise that perhaps she had no intention of doing so. She was asking advice on how best to ask for her money, not whether or not to ask for it.

Witchofzog · 23/05/2019 14:21

Good message op. Any reply yet? Also can you see when she has read it?

Stormwhale · 23/05/2019 14:34

Good idea on the text message as she cant deny you have sent it.

BadLad · 23/05/2019 15:21

She was asking advice on how best to ask for her money, not whether or not to ask for it.

No, she was asking whether to ask for it, and if she should, then how.

From the OP

WWYD, would you ask for it? If you would what would you say?

Pinkyyy · 23/05/2019 15:26

She made it clear she didn't want to write it off.

gamerchick · 23/05/2019 15:41

If you've went with the forgetful approach she might think you're minted and can afford to write it off.

If she tries it on, ask her if she would spend 100 quid on a bag for a colleague.

gamerchick · 23/05/2019 15:42

She might also try and give you the bag back saying she can't afford it. Tell her no if she does.

JustSomebodie · 23/05/2019 15:44

Has she replied?!

PollyShelby · 23/05/2019 15:55

I've got a dreadful feeling that she'll ignore the text

Iloveacurry · 23/05/2019 16:02

Pleased you sent a text asking for payment. She should feel awkward, why should she think it’s a present?! Cheeky cow.

MyGastIsFlabbered · 23/05/2019 16:18

I can't believe you ordered the bag without discussing payment! Hope you get your money back.

BadLad · 23/05/2019 16:21

She made it clear she didn't want to write it off.

Nobody would want to write it off.

FiremanKing · 23/05/2019 16:29

The cost is irrelevant.

Whether it be ten pounds or a hundred pounds, people that ingratiate themselves with flattery regarding a photo of a handbag and then agree to a colleague purchasing it on their behalf and being shown the cost and then accepting the bag and then upon receipt of the bag, just bunging them some chocolates and are not forthcoming with any payment are a downright dastardly cunt if the highest order.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 23/05/2019 19:39

downright dastardly cunt if the highest order.

GrinGrinGrin excellent description!

OP let us know if you receive any money from her!

cstaff · 23/05/2019 20:29

I'm trying to be nice here and trust me it is hard but when do you get paid. Maybe she is waiting for payday to come around before she has the cash and is too embarrassed to mention it to you. Here's hoping OP.