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How do I ask for money back?

133 replies

PomBearAnyOne2 · 21/05/2019 19:12

I’m in a bit of a pickle and it’s starting to stress me out a bit as I don’t know what to do.

A colleague who I don’t know particularly well, we aren’t close but chat in passing we are FB friends as she adds everyone.
She was admiring a new bag I had bought. She was asking loads of questions where she could get it from, how much and did it come in other colours. I said I had ordered it from America but it didn’t turn out to be such a good buy as the shipping was extortionate and I also got stung by Royal Mail for import / customs fees (can’t quite remember the correct term)

A few days later she started admiring it again, I said my mum also wanted one and I would be ordering if she wanted me to order her one. I sent her the web link through FB that night and she picked what colour she wanted and I ordered it. And sent her the order confirmation screen grab with the price showing.

That was about 2ish months ago, the bags were dispatched within a day or two but they have been stuck at DHL in America for weeks. I only had the Royal Mail fees card the Saturday before last. I went to the sorting office to pay the fees and collect the bags. And gave the bag to colleague last Monday.

She was so very grateful and thanked me and even bought me a small box of chocolates as a thank you. But at no point has she mentioned or asked how much she owes me.

I spoke about it to DH and he is under the impression she thinks I’ve bought this as a gift for her hence the chocolates.
I think he may be right as surely you would ask how much you owed?

I said to him how do I ask her for the money and he said write it off as it’s far to awkward to ask for it now over a week later and I should of mentioned it when I handed the bag over, but with the shipping and RM fees it’s just short of £100 and I really don’t want to write off that amount.

WWYD, would you ask for it? If you would what would you say?

OP posts:
Heartofit · 21/05/2019 20:22

And honestly, anyone who was entitled enough to have thought in any way that this was to be a gift deserves to be called out and asked for the money. Hopefully she’ll just have forgotten to pay you. That seems more likely than assuming it was a present.

heyd · 21/05/2019 20:31

Just message asking for the money!

SouthWestmom · 21/05/2019 21:02

Surely we are missing some info here?

Why send her the link and order for her? Why couldn't she do it? Do you get commission? Is it some MLM thing?

SammySamSam09 · 21/05/2019 21:02

'You do realise you haven't paid me for the bag yet? Here's my bank details please can you pop the money over before the end of the week. Thanks'

SammySamSam09 · 21/05/2019 21:03

'You do realise you haven't paid me for the bag yet? Here's my bank details please can you pop the money over before the end of the week. Thanks'

Drogosnextwife · 21/05/2019 21:08

I would text and say "hi xx, forgot to say, I was ££ at the post office for the fees so in total it comes to ££. Hope your enjoying the bag" and send your bank details T the end.
It's a bit cf territory to expect someone you barely know to buy you a bag that costs that much. Why on earth would she think it was a gift!

PomBearAnyOne2 · 21/05/2019 21:10

It was worded as “my mum wants one if you want me to order you one, will save on postage fees that way”

I sent her the link she then messaged back saying she would like it in black. I ordered it and sent her the confirmation.

God no, no MLM honestly. Just that postage was a lot and I was ordering anyway for my mum so thought it was no skin off my nose to combine the order.

I don’t know how or why she would of thought it was a gift but I was expecting her to settle up when I gave it to her. Or at least ask how much in total she owed and sort it a day or so later. But she didn’t and its completely threw me.

I like some of these suggestions tho, will ask for it back over messenger.

OP posts:
TheInvestigator · 21/05/2019 21:13

Good luck. And if she does come back to you saying she assumed it was a gift, stay calm but don't let her away with it.

coconuttelegraph · 21/05/2019 21:17

She'd have to be a total CF to think you would be buying her a £100 bag but the chocolates do suggest that

PollyShelby · 21/05/2019 21:59

I think she thinks it's a gift, I would have been clear before handing it over.

Going to be awkward as fuck now.

FiremanKing · 21/05/2019 22:37

If it was a bag for a quid bought from Wish or a similar Chinese website then I could understand she might have thought it was a gift.

However they are not close friends so even if the cost was very small then it would be presumptuous to assume it was a gift.

As it was £100.00 it is inconceivable that an ordinary person in an ordinary office job would presume that their casual work acquaintance was gifting them a bag of that value.

Topseyt · 22/05/2019 01:21

What an arse she is! Ask her for the money and don't let her get away with this.

A £100 bag as a gift from an office colleague!! No. You need to be unequivocal, as she is taking the piss.

InMyBloodstainedSundaysBest · 22/05/2019 06:10

Did you ask for it back OP? What was the outcome?

WatchingTheWheels85 · 22/05/2019 06:16

Did you ask her op?

wineandcheeseplease · 22/05/2019 06:17

Did you message her?

Morgan12 · 22/05/2019 06:21

The nerve of some people!

Hope you have messaged her OP.

SavoyCabbage · 22/05/2019 06:29

There is no way she thinks it's a present.

CanuckBC · 22/05/2019 06:48

She’s taking the piss. I hope you get your money!

EstuaryBird · 22/05/2019 06:51

In that situation, even if I was 99% sure it was a gift, i’d still offer to pay for it just in case I’d got the wrong end of the stick.....

Just ask her for the money, don’t let her think she’s got one over on you x

ScreamingValenta · 22/05/2019 07:07

even if I was 99% sure it was a gift, i’d still offer to pay for it just in case I’d got the wrong end of the stick

Just what I was thinking as I read the thread.

RavenLG · 22/05/2019 14:04

don’t know how or why she would of thought it was a gift

I mean, most people on your colleague's position would offer the money at the point of ordering. I'm just a little bemused why at any point you didn't ask her for the money before handing it over. Even if you didn't need the money at the point of purchase there surely must have been a conversation when you handed it over?

RestingBitchFaced · 22/05/2019 16:41

Just message her. Something like 'I could do with that money before the weekend/tues/whatever I've got bills to pay'

FiremanKing · 22/05/2019 19:22

Did you get your money back op?

BlondeBumshelll · 22/05/2019 19:26

How on earth did she think a random colleague would BUY her a handbag at that price?? She's taking the piss!

VladmirsPoutine · 22/05/2019 20:07

I'm struggling to believe that she did genuinely think it was a gift. That said, I don't think you need to beat around the bush setting up context. Just text her saying it cost X amount when/how will you pay me.

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