Is there anyone who holds an incorrect belief about you, which you can never put right?

[Gingervitis]

Partly inspired by the revenge thread, is there anything in your past that people believe about you which isn't true, and which you'd like to put right? Or something inaccurate that was said which you've never had a chance to correct?

Mine is from a 4 year relationship I had in my early 20s. We bought a house together but weren't married, and unfortunately things didn't work out.

To that guy I'd like to say, "You thought I was cheating on you, but I wasn't - I had binge eating disorder and when you mentioned in a row after we split that you had noticed the extra plates and bowls in the washing up, and that I must've thought you were stupid, I thought you were referring to my dysfunctional eating. That's why I didnt defend myself. But I wasn't having men round, I was just stuffing my face on my own and I was mortified when I thought you knew!"

I have no idea why this still niggles at me 20 years later, I'd just rather he went to his grave knowing I wasn't a cheating trollop, just a greedy bastard.

Are there any wrongs you'd like to put right (reasonably lighthearted)?

I wanted to go to on at school & go to uni - dm (now departed said no - those days at age 16 no choice) many years later she told everybody that she wanted me to go to uni but I wouldn't! (however I did go to uni -much, much later as a -very- mature student)

I studied Psychology at university and in year 2 we had to undertake a research project in pairs. My research partner (lets call her Sarah) was pretty disinterested so I formulated the subject area and did most of the work around the research methods, what I wasn't strong on was statistical analysis. I managed to struggle through the statistics bit, but because I had confessed my weakness to Sarah she bombarded me with reams of statistical data that wasn't helpful or even relevant to the results. I didn't use any of her stuff. I received an A- for my research, while she got a B. What really hurt was my peers saying how unfair it was as Sarah had done most of my work for me!? When I graduated with a First, I'm sure they were all thinking I'd done it off the back of others, which was totally untrue.

Yes and it's awkward (in my head I mean) learning to not care.

An old boss who to this day believes I deliberately moved her horse to a smaller stable where he cut his legs quite badly.

I'd been off work sick for a week and was just unlucky enough to be the one who found him. I bump into her occasionally and she still blames me.

Same woman blames me for using the wrong tack on another horse despite it being in his locker. I tried to double check with her multiple times but she wasn't willing to listen to me.

She's probably the reason I no longer work with horses. Cate M if you're reading this you suck. 😂

Most people believe that I lost my virginity age 13 because a boy at school said I'd slept with him, we had in fact had 1 kiss but everyone believed him and I gave up defending myself after a while, but as I got older friends still believed it. now even in my 40's it occasionally comes up in conversation that I was a very early starter so to speak and I just can't be bothered arguing because they still think I'm lying! (In truth i was 16 )

Mqybe I should tell my dad the truth. When I was about 18 I ended op at a guy- friends house after clubbing. We were to tired to go home, his parents weren't there so we decided to sleep over. Because I was a girl I needed a separate room of course, this wasn't discussed, just the natural solution for everyone. Because the guy-friend wanted to try out what a double bed was like he went to sleep in the master bedroom and I slept in his bedroom. Other friend slept on an airbed somewhere. Nothing happened, we were just friends. When I got home the next day my dad asked where I had slept. At danny's (not real name) I said truthfully. I mean, come on they knew Danny and knew he was just a friend, right. Or so I thought. In which bed dad asked. "In his bed but". "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT, GO TO YOUR ROOM NOW!"

Maybe I should finish my sentence. Although it's been 21-22 years and dad is getting dementia, so maybe the opportunity has passed.

My brother and his girlfriend - also my childhood best friend - had an unplanned pregnancy when we were all teenagers. My friend confided in me and my brother was upset about this because he didn't want our parents to know and thought I'd tell them. BF had a termination and I never said a word to my parents or anyone.

About fifteen years later, my brother and I were talking about our teenage days and he said something about that difficult time, and said that it had taken him a long time to forgive me for telling our parents about the pregnancy! Turns out my parents (supportively) confronted him before the termination happened, convinced his gf to tell her parents, offered to help if they wanted to have the baby... And for all these years he and she assumed that I had told them.

I have no idea how they knew, but it didn't come from me. My brother responded to my protests with "it's okay, it was a long time ago, I know you thought you were doing the right thing..." clearly didn't believe me.

Parents are long dead so I'll never be vindicated.

My family and many others think I left my husband and children because I was a selfish cow, thinking only of myslef. I left because he wanted me to go and threatened to tell the children awful lies about me murdering our first born who died. To protect them I left, hoping I could get them later. It took 5 years before they came back to me, when they were eventually old enough to see what their father was really like. I have tried several times to talk to my parents about this. They don;t want to know

Yes, my DM and stepdad think all kind of shit. That I’m messy, disorganized and bad with money. This is based on the fact that I had a messy bedroom as a teenager and had to ask them to help out a few times when I was at university (they didn’t give any financial support as I was already working as many hours around my course as I possibly could)

In fact, they seem to have loads of false memories of me as a teenager and it pisses me off so much. Some of things that my stepdad ‘remembers’ are even from before he was even on the scene so fuck knows how he recalls them?

Yes. Had horrible rumours re. promiscuity started about me in halls in first year of university by a group of girls who I still cannot understand to this day why they had such a problem with me. Ended up wrecking a good friendship of mine by pouring poison in to the ear of his girlfriend who I had never met but essentially a set her friends in the same city against me. Rumours dogged me for the entire time I was there. Nightmare. Even if I had had the opportunity to set them straight it’s unlikely I would have been believed as they were ‘Queen Bee’ types and I most definitely wasn’t!

An ex-boyfriend had repeatedly cheated and gaslit me throughout the relationship but when I finally dumped him he told all our mutual friends that I had cheated on him. Lying toad.

I didn’t know until years later when speaking to one of said friends, she made a snarky remark about my (now) DH being nervous knowing I was a cheater. I was gobsmacked but couldn’t get her to believe that whilst I had met DH whilst still dating ex (we worked together), that absolutely zero happened until about six months after we had split.

Tbf I don’t care that much now. Believe what you like, I know the truth - that’s enough.

ExH believes that I had an affair with my boss while we were still married.
I have absolutely no idea why he thought (and still thinks) that I did - I never had any kind of relationship with this bloke at work at all.

At 17 I met my 1st boyfriend. Some nutter from a nightclub we frequented threatened to stab my bf because he fancied me and wanted to go out with me instead. He had a girlfriend with a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp. She blamed me for her nutter bf’s behaviour. Fast forward to my mid30s and I’m leaving a different venue. Bulldog gf is there having not seen me in uptown years and is telling everyone I’m a slut. At that point I’d just split with my first boyfriend after 15 years having never cheated or slept with anyone else. She’d split with the nutter in her teens who ended up dying of a heroin overdose. She continues to this day, if she sees me (now mid40s), to tell everyone what a slut I am. The rumour went beyond her own slobber chops - I have to laugh when I hear of what a slut that stinkywizzleteets is from people who don’t know it’s me they’re talking about. I’m all for female sexual liberation and would have no issue of being labelled promiscuous but still have only had three sexual partners in my life!

@FiremanKing I went in the 80s but only for a bit as we moved away. I loved that teacher!

I once worked very closely with the finance director of a company that was going through a big restructure. I knew a lot about what was going to happen (more than anybody else, including the board) and the director trusted me completely to keep quiet.

One day he called me into his office and asked if I'd been to see my friend (who lived in another part of the country and used to work at one of our branches - one that had been earmarked for closure). Apparently all the staff at that branch had got wind of the redundancies and the manager of the branch was livid.

My boss never believed that it wasn't me that spilled the beans and never put that level of trust in me again - even when it was discovered that it had actually been the managing director's chauffeur who had let it slip.

My sister and I are NC. She's made a huge drama out of it and told most of my family what a bitch I am, so I've been dropped by nearly all of them.

And you know what, it nearly killed me at the beginning. Now I just think it's their loss, not mine. I've got an amazing DH, amazing DC and amazing grandkids. And don't need any of them. A drama free life is a much happier one.

Yes 2.

1. my ex's family all believe I cheated on him. I didnt.
2. some people on here believe my baby doesnt sleep because I didnt do a routine with him. I did. He just doesnt sleep. No matter how many times I say it it doesnt seem to sink in.

You can tell which rankles me more!!

My parents and DSis constantly say I talk too much. I do a job where I’m known for succinctness and my contributions are well received - for their brevity.

My DSis has repeated in front of friends who are non-plussed and confirm that the chatterbox is indeed .... my DSis! She won’t have it though.

A PP reminded me of another injustice but this time among friends at school. A friend confronted me about some horrible stuff I was supposed to have said about her. The truth was the girl who leaked the lie had said it to me NOT ME TO HER but because I hadn't told the friend the girl had said it the friend believed I had Also during the same original conversation with the girl I had said some mean things about my best friend (I was feeling jealous at the time) and the girl told my best friend and also told her I'd said even worse stuff that the girl had actually said. Because I admitted some of it I was hung for the whole lot. My ex best friend now lives in the same town as me (I moved quite far away) and is friends with some of my friends and works where I used to work so I do bump into her but she won't have a bar of me. But went to the girl's wedding

@Allthebees

I’m hard pushed to remember the names of my infant and junior school teachers but have never forgotten Mrs Peacop as she was such a great teacher.

That’s pretty amazing that you saw my post and also remembered her!

Years ago when I was single in the late 90s I met someone through OLD. We went on one date and then he, to use modern terminology, ghosted me. I thought 'fine' and moved on.

Weeks later I got an angry email from him accusing me of sending a virus to his computer! I wouldn't have a clue how to do this even now in a more technological age, and it certainly wouldn't have occurred to me as a method of revenge, if I'd even felt vengeful.

Apparently the email came from an address that bore an extremely tenuous resemblance to the initials of the company I worked for at the time - e.g. I worked for 'Southern Holdings Ltd.' and the email came from someone called 'Shell'.

It served to make me confident I'd dodged a weirdo if nothing else.

People think I'm posh because of my accent, I'm really not, I just like nice things!

When I was in my early twenties my friends ‘boyfriend’ bragged that he had ‘shagged’ me on a field to his mates I only found out because it was mentioned by one of his mates in the pub. I thought he was joking but apparently they all knew and another one of my mates who had kept the ‘knowledge’ to herself.

It totally never happened. I’ve never shagged any one on a field.

It caused massive upset and if I hadn’t been with another girl at the same time of this supposed field shag no one would have believed me. However his girl friend/my mate was never the same with me again.

My ex was abusive and did some horrible things. We were an item when I was 16/17.

He has made up so much crap about me (claiming I made stuff up about him, got him arrested for nothing ehhh no not nothing, about my sexual exploits etc).

So I'd like to say to all those who gave him head space and believed it and chose to try and sexually harass me or say I was dramatic orcruining his life - no. He was controlling, emotionally and sexually abusive and also a ephebophile/hebephile. You probably do know but just don't care. and breathe.

On a lighter note I was always believed to be a bit shy at school and in a way I was, but I was more reserved and enjoyed alone play or one on one.

My family believe I'm extremely promiscuous, which all started when I got a first boyfriend from school at the age of 17. 'We've raised a tart!' over the years I've cemented my slaggy status by: having children 'it was inevitable' and declining their offers of babysitting so I could socialise as a single mother who didn't get out much ever because they put weird terms and conditions on it such as going straight to their house and staying there at the end of the night- 'she just can't be without men'.

One of my uncles believes I'm a really aggressive, confrontational loudmouth. The fact I have never acted that way and the thought alone of behaving as he thinks I do is completely mortifying, hasn't convinced him otherwise.

My parents also think I'm a really fussy eater and many fretful glances are exchanged at family meals and hisses of, 'what will she eat?' despite me loving trying new things/will eat anywhere compared to their fixed order of burgers with no sauce or salad or anything 'weird'.