Is there anyone who holds an incorrect belief about you, which you can never put right?

[Gingervitis]

Partly inspired by the revenge thread, is there anything in your past that people believe about you which isn't true, and which you'd like to put right? Or something inaccurate that was said which you've never had a chance to correct?

Mine is from a 4 year relationship I had in my early 20s. We bought a house together but weren't married, and unfortunately things didn't work out.

To that guy I'd like to say, "You thought I was cheating on you, but I wasn't - I had binge eating disorder and when you mentioned in a row after we split that you had noticed the extra plates and bowls in the washing up, and that I must've thought you were stupid, I thought you were referring to my dysfunctional eating. That's why I didnt defend myself. But I wasn't having men round, I was just stuffing my face on my own and I was mortified when I thought you knew!"

I have no idea why this still niggles at me 20 years later, I'd just rather he went to his grave knowing I wasn't a cheating trollop, just a greedy bastard.

Are there any wrongs you'd like to put right (reasonably lighthearted)?

@Alabasterangel6 my DH does this. Or listens to the start of something I'm saying, stops listening then fills in the rest of the conversation himself. So like you, I end up frustrated that he denies I've said something or claims I've said something else entirely. Like when DD started secondary school, I'd asked him repeatedly to start work slightly later and finish earlier during her first week so I could take her and pick her up from her new school and he could take and collect our younger child to her school. He denied this had ever happened and didn't book the time off.

Now I text him so there's proof. Luckily I had 3 texts asking him about the above example so he couldn't deny it (and moved heaven and earth to get the time off as he was in the wrong). Whilst it's not always a solution, it's less infuriating than him denying conversations ever took place.

My brother is 9 years older than me and very tall. He painted his initials in huge letters over a metre high on a barn wall belonging to family friends when we were children (were now in our 40s/50s). My brothers initials are the sane as mine. I was 6 and he was 15 but somehow I got the blame, which has stuck for decades since.

A younger girl at school fell over and cut her knees and arms quite badly.
I found her as i was walking along and helped her home.
The next day every single person in the 3 years above me had been told by her queen bee sister that i beat her up. Im not sure why she told her sister this.
Anyway i was relentlessly bullied for years for it gangs would follow me home, things thrown at me allsorts it was relentless. No matter how much i pleaded my innocence it just never stopped.
I still see them around now shes clearly never confessed to her sister as they still look at me with pure hate as do various people from her year group.
I try not to let it bother me but it still really does i regret helping her that day so much.

My parents believe me to be chronically late. I'm never late. I never got late marks at school. Never been late to work. Never late to meet my friends. Never missed a flight. Never rushing around at the last minute to do something. And yet this persists.

If ever I'm staying with them and have plans to go out, they start looking at their watches, asking if I've checked the traffic, asking if I know where I'm going. I can see the panic / disapproval about my (in their eyes) flagrantly poor time keeping!!

I've pointed this all out to them. I've asked them to tell me what they think I've ever been late to. They can't tell me, and yet this persists! And it's infuriating. I'm 35 now with my own family. Who I manage to get places on time!!!

I met my DH when I was 19, about 6 months after my A-levels. My MIL is adamant that I was still at school when we met. (He’s 8 years older, so this seems creepy). When I correct her, as she mentions it surprisingly often, she asks me if I’m sure and gives me maddening half smile/simper.

As it was 24 years ago, I should let it go, but it bugs the hell out of me.

I once worked with a woman, who I considered a friend at the time. She started making up lies about me and telling fellow colleagues I had a drug problem and had told her to have an abortion! Even so far as trying to convince my employer this was true! Fortunately they could see what was going on but there wasn't enough evidence to sack her.
I tried countless to times to confront her as to why she was doing this, what had I done to deserve this, but she refused to speak to me about it. I worry some of my colleagues may actually have believed her lies.
Karma is getting her back nicely now....but I'll always wonder why she did it.

I found out not long before my mother died that she believed I watched porn with my brother and his friend at the friend's house.

What actually happened was db's friend had the house to himself as the parents were on holiday, it was his birthday so he asked my db round and I think he asked me because I happened to be there.

We decided we'd like to watch a film but friend didn't have a VHS so I suggested borrowing ours. I went to ask my mum who behaved very oddly but often did behave odly.

When I found out 30+ years later I was mortified, not so much about my mum thinking I watched porn, but that she thought I was watching with my brother and his friend.

This was mid 1980s so it wasn't like you could get hold of it from the corner shop.

My parents thought I’d stolen something from them and sold it years ago, I didn’t.

Long term former best friend thought I’d left my abusive ex because I’d met someone else and beleives exh side of events

Yes, the majority of my 'birth' (for want of a better word) family. Due to my nasty, narc mother most of them believe that I steal both of my DD's pocket, birthday, Christmas money. Ironically, I inherited a sum of money from my great-grandmother when I was very young which was put in an account for me. I never saw a penny of it as mother took it all. Mother told me when I was 14 because I'd asked if I could withdraw some to buy tickets to a concert. She said she'd pay me back but never did, there was £6000 in that account!

The 'family' also believe that I have stopped my parents from seeing my DD's..... I haven't. They had put my DD's in serious danger once when they had taken them out and DH had told my parents not to do that again, my parents then spat their dummies out and said that they will 'stay away'. A few months later they contacted DH about wanting to take our DD's out again but he said no to unsupervised visits but he would arrange occasional supervised visits when he's not at work. They said no they didn't want supervised visits and it's been almost two years since then. Luckily MIL is an awesome grandmother so our DD's aren't losing out.

At 16 I was raped by some school boys.

The next day at school I was called a slut and I stopped going as everyone had been told a different version of events

A great many of my XHs friends and family probably think I'm mad, bad, alcoholic, hysterical control freak who was begging him to take him back, because that's how I was described in a text he accidentally sent me instead of a friend with the same name.

From my perspective we had been being perfectly amicable, not drunken, and I'd said how glad I was he had found a new partner who could make him happy. Marriage had long since fizzled out.

He was a gaslighting pathological liar though. Nice enough, but a liar through and through so I wasn't that surprised. I've accepted he's painted a whole new picture of me to these people but they aren't mutual friends so fuck 'em.

Yes.

When my best friend was dying of breast cancer I took her to the hospice and put myself down as 'point of contact'.

They put me down as 'next of kin' and when her mum turned up (after I begged her to come and see her daughter before she died) they wouldn't allow her in until they got my permission.
Her mum thinks I did it deliberately as a some kind of sick punishment, told all of my best friends friends, everyone turned against me and when my best friend died three days later I was unable to be with her and subsequently pushed out and punished by everyone.
It made a painful process a lot harder to deal with.

They say I made the process more painful for them.

All I was doing is trying to look out for everyone and my best friend.

And I NEVER put myself down as next of kin!

Oh I have another. I was bullied badly in a job and found that my boss had told people I was infertile and that was why I was so 'easily upset'. No, you arse. I was upset because you were screaming in my face and spreading rumours that my husband was cheating on me.

No, I did not cheat on your son. I found out he was bisexual and had been sleeping with his 'best friend' for 20 years.

A girl at college spread nasty rumours about me. We'd been at school together, and she'd been a bit of an oddball loner, I was only in some GCSE option classes as her in years 10/11 so didn't know her that well. I was in the group of popular top set girls but we were a really nice group and whilst we weren't mean or anything, didn't have anything to do with this girl as we were into different things and in different classes. Anyway, our school didn't have a 6th form or a college in our town, so we all went to colleges in adjacent towns / colleges. We'd recently moved house to a town with a college, so I went to that one as it offered the subjects I wanted to do, and my other friends went to a couple of other colleges thst were closer to them / offered subjects they wanted. I discovered on my first day at college she was there, and we naturally teamed up as we sort of knew each other. I was off ill a few weeks into term and actually ended up in hospital. Friendship groups seemed to form in this time, and I felt really left out when I returned (still not feeling 100% either). Turns out this girl spread some very nasty rumours about me sleeping around, being a theif and just not being a nice person. I've never done anything to this girl, and neither did my friends from school. I've never stolen anything and only ever slept with 1 person. I left after a while as these nasty comments got me so depressed, and ended up doing an apprentiship followed by a degree and post grad course and now I'm in a very senior position. The friends I did make at college later said no one believed her, but no one said it at the time. She made my life hell! I'm pleased to say I've heard through the grapevine she's not doing very well in life, and I took great delight in declining her Facebook friendship request

@FiremanKing @Allthebees

I neeeeed to know if Bees is Alison!

Jesus bebeboeuf that’s awful. You poor thing.

My husband is convinced I sold an important item of his at a car boot sale. I did not, which he would know if he'd bothered to get up and come with me! He has clearly lost it at some point but tries to push the blame onto me 😡

My ex boyfriend is also convinced I slept with the guy I dated after him whilst we were still together. I didn't but he would never believe me. We don't speak anymore but it still irritates me that I can't prove my innocence

Years ago now but still annoys me. My relationship with my first boyfriend (I was 19/20) broke down a few months after we moved in together. During that time he regularly lied about where he was, stole money, was using cocaine daily, skipping work - I was doing all the housework/cooking etc, it sucked. Final straw was went he became violent, punched me and shook me so hard I thought my neck would snap. I'd decided to leave but was embarrassed about what others would think (I know! Wish I could go back and talk to my younger self!) instead I got involved with another bloke and we slept together before I ended the relationship. So I cheated. Rather than tell anyone (except a close friend) what was really behind it, I just took the blame for it ending and let everyone think he was the victim. Didn't even tell my parents. I was most upset about his family though cause they had always been lovely to me and to this day they probably still think I'm the horrible person who hurt their son and they know nothing about the person he really was.

@LittleLongDog

I don’t think allthebees is Alison! Last I heard Alison has no children but collected animals of all kinds!

I think allthebees is considerably younger than me as well as my teacher could have continued teacher another decade or even longer after I was in her class.

Still an amazing coincidence!

I inherited some family jewellery at a fairly youngish age. I was living in a house share and I found it missing after a post nightclub party. The things were in my room, just out on a shelf as I wore them often. My mum thinks I sold them, but I definitely didn't!!

Yes just a few!

To the 2 different guys who said I'd slept with them,I met you both once(at different times they didn't no each other)and the furthest I went with either of you was a kiss and that was infront of people because each time it was in a club,the fucking idiots seem to forget that part and that I was out clubbing with a group of friends and some of my family.

The rest would be to do with family(well non family now because I went NC)the dickhead who was my oldest brother and his spawns of satan(they're all adults)1 of them that's not even his child screamed at me that I'm a cunt and I'm not even disabled(I was in my wheelchair at the time)infront of tons of people in our local town(I called the Police and she got into loads of trouble over it)the reason being,I cut them all of after they behaved appalingly one time to many,so they all kicked up a fuss because it got round the rest of our family(it's huge)that they were really arseholes(nothing to do with me it was other people that witnessed what had happened) and so lots of people fell out with them.

ineedaknittedhat me too. Autism is both useful and infuriating. I also have resting bitch face and everyone at work thinks I'm terrifying. I don't get invited to social things now, but I just want a friend!

Ex MIL convinced herself, the family and my ex that I was cheating (I'd dared to be in a club with 2 make friend, who were in a relationship, with each other 🤨). Also that I was regularly physically abusing my ex.... I'm the one who got non visible bruises as well as a black eye. I went NC, blocked them all and just left it. Oh And they were convinced I was the cause of Ex's alcoholism..... Nope, sorry, ex was an alcoholic when we met, but very good at hiding it and it didn't appear to be a problem until a few years down the line.

Since we've gone NC, Ex also told new GF that I regularly sit outside the flat, in my car (a car I haven't owned for 5+ years), has lied about how she got scars (I was there, rode in the ambulance etc) and said I caused the injuries, that I've slept with mutual friends (nope, I was sleeping with my now DH) and that I still stir up trouble.

I've got 2 DC and have much better things to do than sit in a car on a shithole estate where I'd probably lose the alloys from my much nicer car!

I wouldn't piss on any of them if they were on fire but it boils my piss that I can't correct their opinion of me

bebebouef, the same thing happened to me. I hope you've managed to put it behind you