Childless couples

[letsgohooray]

I came to the realisation that 90% of our family life involves or revolves around the dc. Either driving them somewhere or organising something for them or getting stuff for them etc. I genuinely want to know what childless couples do when they are not working? I want a breakdown!!! Weekday evenings and weekends. What do you do with your time? DO you spend it with your dp or away on activities? What do you talk about with each other. It is a whole world I can not imagine.

At the moment, lots of DIY as we are renovating. Usually it involves going somewhere interesting for a walk with the dogs. A lot of time in the garden as that's my hobby - DH plays golf when he feels like it. We often eat out as we like trying new places. We'll meet up with friends - some of ours had their children quite young so are coming to the point where their kids are older teens or off to uni, so they have more time for socialising now. Some weekends will be really active and others we'll decide to be rally lazy and spend it on the sofa eating snacks and binge watching Netflix.

Funny because I am about to start trying for a baby and every spare moment I have I cherish. I know it’ll never have this much free (most amazing relaxing) time for a very very very long time.

Our weekend consisted of waking up around 7/8am. Relaxing in bed. I was on my phone for an hour. Husband made himself a coffee, we had breakfast then got started in the garden. Husband and his father had a big garage job, they started at 10 and I cleaned the house. I made lunch for all which we ate around 2. Then back to work for a few hours.

Showered at 5pm, made a lovely halloumi salad and ate /sat in the garden from 6-9pm.

Next day was pretty similar. I can imagine had we had kids everything would’ve taken a lot longer.

I couldn't see AnotherEmma's point at first, but I can see on re-reading how you have a bit of a tone of "but what do you little people actually do with your time, surely it's terribly boring?" Rather than "it must be nice to have time together".

For what it's worth, although for a while we were desperate to be parents, it didn't work, and now instead of just seeing the loss and emptiness, I also see the years of exhaustion, boredom, drudgery and expense we've escaped too.

For us, we travel, play video games, watch movies and tv, go to theme parks, relax, go for walks, go to the gym. Sleep. Have sex. Enjoy each other's company. Laugh a lot. Whatever we feel like really.

So, imagine what you'd like to do together and then ... it would be that.

Literally whatever we want whenever we want. No need to worry about age appropriate activities or conversation. Bliss.

Why are people getting weird over this thread

OP our childless friends go to bloody nice hotels abroad. I look at their Instagram pics in envy! We go to nice ones but they have to be child focused and it ain’t the same!

I remember going away with them pre kids and we had a blast. Lazy days around the pool and drinks and laughs in to the early hours. No it would be up at the crack of dawn, eye balling the kids constantly and early to bed. Shattered.

Oh I dream of those days back!

I couldn't see AnotherEmma's point at first, but I can see on re-reading how you have a bit of a tone of "but what do you little people actually do with your time, surely it's terribly boring?" Rather than "it must be nice to have time together

I didn’t read that at all!

Rather tell me what you do as I’m so swamped I need to remember what prekids is like.

I’m concerned how old your youngest child is op. You say your eldest is 25 and it sounds as if you are still doing a massive amount for them. By the time my dc are in their 20s I’m hoping they are able to do their own shopping and organising and drive themselves about if they need to be somewhere. I can cope with doing it for younger children but your eldest dc is 25, I was married with a child by then, my parents certainly weren’t organising my life!

We had seven child-free years, and I now find it hard to remember what we did in our spare time in those days. Late lie-ins and cinema I think. Also, I recently got down from the loft to sell our old PS2 and games. And we had a LOT of games, so I think gaming was also something we did, but I don't really remember that - which says a lot about the value/merit of it I suppose.

I do now regret not doing more before the children. If I could go back to my first 7 years of marriage, I would visit more exhibitions, museums, theatre, weekends away in the Cotswolds etc and maybe even take up an activity like running or golf. Never mind, in ten years' time I'll be able to do all that again, if my joints haven't given up on me completely.

I’ve been studying part time around my 9-5 job since 2014 so lots of my free time is spent in the library, especially now that I’ve reached Masters level, which is slowly killing me 😬😂

Aside from that I spend evenings in front of the TV with DH; go to the gym; meet friends for coffee or dinner; go on multiple holidays a year; go to gigs; sleep a lot; spend my money on expensive handbags

We had our son when I was 39, and in fact I was just skimming old diaries from my mid-30s the other day. We had a brilliant time — two demanding jobs that involved a lot of travel, and we lived in a tiny central London flat and were continually at exhibitions and films, plays and concerts (on cheap tickets), going out to eat, seeing friends, having people to stay, and going abroad to stay with friends. Walking on Hampstead Heath, exploring odd corners of London, poking around markets and auction houses, reading great stacks of books. DH played with a 5 a side football team. I did a night class in art history. When DH’s job transferred him abroad, I took a career break and went too, and worked as a journalist there for a year.

It was an absolutely lovely time, and having had it meant that we’ve been able to enjoy more child-centric stuff in the countryside without feeling we were missing out. I have a list of stuff I’m saving for after DS leaves home, and loads of plans for retirement.

We are child free. We go walking with the dog a lot, and expensive and time consuming hobbies, chill, watch TV, go on holidays we want. Can’t fault it really!

"you have a bit of a tone of "but what do you little people actually do with your time, surely it's terribly boring?" Rather than "it must be nice to have time together"."

Exactly. Intentional or not, that's how it comes across.

On a typical weekday evening we get in from work, cook dinner, chat and watch TV. Once a week I go to a gym class and usually one weeknight we will eat out/go shopping.

Weekends can vary! Usually something with friends/family. This weekend we went shopping then for lunch with friends, then to a Eurovision party. We spent Sunday hungover on the couch watching Netflix in our pajamas and ordered a takeaway. Sunday is also usually the day for cleaning the house, food prep and doing washing/ironing ready for the next week.

DBoyfriend works away so we're only together 3 days a week. We talk to each other, brush and cuddle and play with the DCat, cuddle each other, have sex, drink coffee, do laundry, cleaning and tidying. Work in the garden, watch the birds visiting the bird feeders, watch tv series. Go for a run together and to yoga class. Go out for dinner. Meditate.

I do what i want when i want get out of bed when i want go out when i want

Its quite fun

Dh and I have never been totally child free as I already had dc when we met.
I envy my friends who had years of child free fun before settling down!
My ex dh only saw the dc every 6 weeks or so when they younger so we did have some child free weekends. What did we do? Go to the pub a lot, a fair bit of diy and have a ridiculous amount of sex

This thread is so goady. It comes across as “I’m so busy and important! What do you actually DO?”. OP you spent 25 years being child free so you should have some idea what it’s like. Also how is 90% of your time spent on your kids when they are clearly old enough to take care of themselves? Are you really overbearing or something?

Oh and i wouldnt have a child if you paid me

@Hithere12 I agree! Op must have older dc like me and while I have a great and close relationship with my two, they definitely don't take up 90% of my time!!

We potter, go for walks, pub, cinema, do the garden, see friends, support elderly relatives, do all the 'home admin' or 'wife work' that seems to be such a hot topic on here, clean, go shopping, do laundry.....

Real life doesn't stop just because you don't have kids, we still have bathrooms to clean, food to buy and bills to sort out just like everyone else!!

I love my child but I do miss our child free days.

Oh and i wouldnt have a child if you paid me

Same 😂 the only people who are bitchy to childfree people are ones who are jealous & don’t enjoy it in my experience. The ones who absolutely love being a parent are never bitchy. It’s like they’re trying to justify their life choices.

I know how you feel, I've been doing this parenting lark for 28 years and at least 4 more with 1 at home. I have no idea what we'll do when no one is left at home but us 2. We talk about it a lot though, little fantasies we have no idea about the reality though. We talk about more walking mainly. Lots of hills out there.

I've often wondered this too Op, I'm the same as you my whole life revolves around theirs. I'm guessing they get to have a conversation or several