WTF? It’s 7.40pm and a teacher has just randomly turned up at my house

[birmanbaby]

To give me new starter forms for DD who is starting reception in September

I already have a DD at the school so if they’re trying to save on postage she could have given them to her.

It’s a bit weird no?

A lot of judgmental posters on here, why start bashing the mum because she has a very busy full time job. It’s not odd that she hasn’t met the teachers or that she feels she doesn’t need to, her DH has and is happy so she is happy.

But I don’t “need” to. I can and have communicated with her over email/phone. Why do I need to physically see her in person . I presume she exists since someone must be looking after DD all day

If it makes you feel better ex DH walks DD into school when he drops her off so I presume he’s met her!

Can imagine someone's just offered to pop the forms in as a favour for a colleague who's not handed them to the older sibling on the way home or because they live nearby - it does happen, depends on the type of school you're at (previous school my kids' teacher lived in the next city down but our current school most of the teachers live very very locally) - I used to live in catchment from where I taught and would run local errands if required (was being sent to the local bus pickup to tell them school was closed on a snow day normally).

As for them seeing you looking a mess - I fairly regularly run into teaching staff from school in the local supermarket when I'm looking a right state just trying to sprint around the store at 8pm at night - no one cares!

Probably didnt have any stamps

Why on earth would you need to pre-arrange a quick knock at the door to hand over an envelope?

I work in a school office. The sorting out the paperwork for new admissions is a big job. We print everything off, but the early years team collate them and put them in envelopes and get them to parents. One year they were posted with insufficient postage on them none of the families got the information before induction meeting day! So now we give them out at the induction meeting and just sent an invitation letter. I'm guessing it was hand delivered to save on postage, and it was too big to go through your letterbox which is why she knocked. The closer households were probably done during the school day. Unusual, but understandable.

Being disengaged with DDs education would be never signing her reading book, not bothering with homework, forgetting trips and taking her out of school for week in Benidorm.

There are a whole load of women out there who don’t have anything to do with social side of school!

Dp hasn't met any of dd2s teachers. So whys it a big deal if the op hasnt as long as one parent/guardian has.

Who ever isnt at work or looking after the kids at home goes surely?

I would find it a bit odd op

I live near some teachers from the school none of them have ever called round. Would teachers even know the address?

When dd2 started the letters were put in dd1s bag. Same with all the siblings starting.

I really don't see what's wrong with someone knocking at your door in the early evening to drop something off.
It’s fairly intrusive. Does your line manager ever pop round unannounced?
I'm looking a right state just trying to sprint around the store at 8pm at night - no one cares!
This is nonsense. Lots of people “care”. It’s not up to you to decide if op is comfortable interacting with school staff in her dressing gown.

If it makes you feel better ex DH walks DD into school when he drops her off so I presume he’s met her!

It’s not about making me feel better

And if you feel you don’t need to meet your child’s teacher, that’s entirely your choice.

I said I thought it was odd because in 17 years of working in primary schools I’ve never met a parent who felt this way.

I'm surprised it wasn't sent home with the sibling though, or at least a message sent via the sibling to pick it up from the office.

i dont think its odd, she is not your teacher, she wasnt judging you
cannot be compared to your line manager.

I do find it odd that she knocked and handed it over rather than just putting it through the door.

As for the teacher seeing you when you are a mess, I bump into several parents each day when I’m out for my morning run. I look a disaster and they are all too polite or embarrassed to say anything.

I’m confused by all the pearl clutching over the teacher finding out a child’s address. You are happy for them to care for them all day but not to know where they live?
But then my school is very much part of the community and lots of us all live locally and on the same estate.

I said I thought it was odd because in 17 years of working in primary schools I’ve never met a parent who felt this way.

That’s because they don’t come to the school!

I'm surprised it wasn't sent home with the sibling though

In our school we send some things home with the child or their sibling, but important paperwork to be signed by the parent, as well as confidential letters, go in the post.

This is partly because some parents never check their child’s bag.

address check - quite common for teachers to visit to make sure its your house

TreadingthePrimrosePath

One of my specialities was returning toys that had got stuck on roofs and in trees and bushes

You sound lovely ,I wish my son had been lucky enough to have gone to a primary school where people like you worked !

Line manager dropping something round would be perfectly ok too, it's not intrusive unless they expect to come in, people knocking at doors to drop something off is just a normal everyday type occurrence. Also you didn't have to answer the door.

If the alternatives are posting (expensive), school bag (may not be found) or asking you to come in and pick it up yourself (inconvenient) then I'd say this is totally the right thing to do.

Ours hand deliver them a lot or pass them to family members. It's a village. If you're not that well known to them (unlikely) they mail them out instead.
I think the personal touch is rather nice actually.

Really, it's a problem that school staff know children's addresses?

I imagine someone said "oh Sheila, the Smith family live on your street - would you might dropping this in to them on your way home?"
And Sheila knocked just to be sure she'd got the right house.

My DH hasn't met many teachers either, I don't think he's awake at night fretting about it

Plenty of parents work full time, but still manage to take time off for parents evening, school events etc. That level of disengagement with a child’s education would ring alarm bells if I was a teacher I’m sure. I think that’s a more likely explanation for a brief home visit

Oh what a load of nonsense. You wouldn't be saying that if the mother did all the school stuff and the dad didn't. Why is a mother disengaged if she works FT but a dad is not? Ingrained sexism.

DS's school didn't do home visits and I'm very glad they didn't, I would find it very intrusive. Checking if you are nice middle class family with lots of books on the shelves or if the child is called Chardonnay and they spot a speck of dust they'll be saying to themselves "oh well I knew what that family would be like". There is no need for teachers to visit pupils' homes at all.

However, I can't see anything sinister about a teacher dropping something into someone if they live on the way. In fact I remember one of ds' teaching assistants dropping something into me one day as she lives in the same road.

I said I thought it was odd because in 17 years of working in primary schools I’ve never met a parent who felt this way

do you mean a MOTHER? I bet there are plenty of dads you haven't met because they are still generally more likely to work FT and mums are still likely to work PT or not at all. But it's not at all strange for it to be the other way round. Newsflash: it's 2019. not 1959.

I taught for years and didn't meet parents of a lot of children. Some children were brought and picked up by childminders or grandparents and some worked hours where they couldn't attend school functions, or only one could. People work, have disabilities, no transport etc. It's really not unusual.

My DD’s very first school report in Reception was delivered by hand because the teacher forgot to hand them to the children on the last day before the Christmas holidays. It was posted through the letterbox because we weren’t in. I later found out from another parent that she helped the teacher and the TA deliver them – she took the ones whose addresses she knew, and the teacher and the TA did the rest.

I didn’t think it was particularly odd – in fact, I was impressed that they cared enough to bother.

Do you never go and see your DD in anything at school?

DH works full time and long hours but has always tried to make time for parents’ evening, sports day, plays etc. School is a huge part of your child’s life, why wouldn’t you want to go and see things they are involved in. I have been SAHM or work PT and volunteered at the school so DS used to me being there. He would get very excited when DH managed to be there for something and would show him work he had displayed on the wall etc