How can someone RSVP to a wedding when they haven't been invited???

[MrsGideon]

I'm getting married next Sunday. We're having a small wedding with just close family and friends. For context, I am not even inviting my own cousins even though I'm close to a lot of them, because they live abroad and we wanted to keep numbers down.

My MIL lives in another country with her partner who has two DC from a previous marriage. The DC weren't invited, as my DP doesn't feel close to them at all (his DM and her partner got together when all the DC were adults). We sent out save the dates about a year in advance to all the people we wanted to invite, and informed MIL and partner that we were not inviting the DC. They seemed fine with it.

Anyway, about 5 months ago, before we had sent official invitations, MIL texted DP with a picture of her flight confirmation showing that she, her partner AND DC2 had all booked flights for the wedding! We were obviously pissed off because we had told them we weren't intending to invite DC2, but let it slide because there was bugger all we could do at that point. When we sent out invitations, we included DC2's name just to be nice.

Fast forward to now, 1.5 WEEKS UNTIL THE WEDDING, and DC1 has now 'confirmed attendance'!!! DP and I are utterly incredulous but we can't say anything because we need to keep the peace for the sake of a drama free wedding.

Call me crazy, but surely you can't confirm attendance to SOMETHING YOU HAVEN'T BEEN INVITED TO???

@PineapplesandtheGovernment my comment was in no way aimed at you.

This thread is nothing but a bit of a passive whinge... But they're too ineffectual to. Or perhaps scared of MIL.

Yes a whinge, but not because they are scared of MIL. OP clearly said that they are bemused, adding 2 people won't cause any real hassle, caterer will cope etc. They just rolled with it to reduce their own stress levels.

Having done much the same for equally CFers I know how you gat to that decision. An extra couple of meals or weeks of additional fucking around trying to justify yourself in the face of total fuckwittery? I'd do the same as I did, and OP is doing, every time, if the venure allowed for it!

Thanks Curious

Telling MIL and partner that the DCs couldn't come just would not have been worth the fall out. We've already had drama from other people in the family and really didn't have the mental capacity to deal with any more!

I just wanted to vent, that's all

Well, the answer to the question posed in your thread title - and in response @CuriousaboutSamphire's post - is, it seems, 'anyone who feels so inclined'.

Because seething incredulously, before rolling over and taking it is clearly the order of the day.

Given the number of posters who have had it happen to them, yes, it does seem that any old Tom, Dick or Harry can just arrive, uninvited, at your nuptual feast

Has Mumsnet existed when I got married I would have had a few posts on the go... all v sounding pathetic but really just venting.

Remind me to tell you about StonerSIL's girlfriend and the Glass Attack and Resounding Slap sometime. Annals of wedding history that one!

Or the table of maiden aunts who did a runner from Pizza Hut the night before, just cos they thought it would be funny (it was)!

Or the One Where the Groom's Family Disappeared...

Or StonerSIL's girlfriend and The Sliding Door (which apparently caused Glass Attack and Resounding Slap - I found out 5 years later)

Many weddings abound with funny / horror stories. I'm just happy to read them and know my own wedding may not be the worst !