I had to stop reading the teen board as I felt I didn't really have anything to offer. One underlying thing that I noticed a lot with the battles was the need by some parents to control the minutiae of their DCs lives rather than beginning to release trust to them.
So, things such as going ballistic for finding dirty dishes in their rooms or because they didn't put their laundry in the basket or had their phone on them at 10.30 pm etc.
I think i was overly strict when mine were little tbh and I regret that but I think I've done better as a parent of teenagers. I totally agree that a lot is down to luck and the nature of your DC, but it's also just about treating them like you'd like to be treated yourself. A bit of kindness, understanding and respect and expecting the same in return.
I've also seen lots of threads where people wont do things for their teenagers (such as pick them up in town or quickly iron a favourite t-shirt they want right then when they are trying to get ready to go out), things that if a friend asked you to do you'd not hesitate.
I think speaking to them and letting them get to know you as a person, including your flaws, discussing your experiences and offering support and a friendly ear helps.
I'm not advocating being a friend rather than a parent, but instead being a friendly parent. We talk a lot about consequences and risks and I try not to be judgmental - no idea if any of that is actually the key or if I've just been really really lucky.
maybe it's genetic! DH and I both have large families and no-one has really ever been in trouble for anything - we are a pretty compliant lot. Only one divorce out of 14 marriages too (our parents, us and both sets of siblings) which is probably highly unusual.