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Original poster

Welcome to the Advice Clinic - Please come in

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 12/05/2019 00:18

Do you have problems? Would you like to hear solutions? My team of unqualified but experienced Agony Aunts and myself have a 100% success rate. We're very friendly and never judgemental. Even if you're riddled with the clap.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 17/05/2019 23:12

I'd like to change my name to DebraWingerIsACunt

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Nowaypast · 17/05/2019 23:20

DebraWingerIsACunt has a certain ring to it. When I was in the sixth form many many moons ago, my friend insisted on taking me to the cinema to cheer me up for having been dumped by my boyfriend. Unfortunately, said boyfriend was in the navy and it was all a bit close to home. I remember leaving the cinema in floods of tears. Anyway - back to Rag n Bone Man - when do I get to meet him?

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 17/05/2019 23:24

SailorFucker it is then, although yes, I do like DebraWingerIsACunt.

Could you pop a sign on your gate saying "rags and bones here" and when he calls to collect where a filmy negligee and a saucy leer?

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 17/05/2019 23:26

Wear.

You could change your name to ThighlanderToo

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 17/05/2019 23:29

It could be like Logan's Run where we all have numbers Thigh2, Thigh3 ad infinitum.

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RagnBoneManFucker · 17/05/2019 23:33

What do we think? Fairly unambiguous?

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 18/05/2019 00:46

I like it, it's stylish, it gives you panache.

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RagnBoneManFucker · 18/05/2019 03:07

Good lord Wolf, when does the poor woman have time to sit under her slanket? Shock

ProjectGainsborough · 18/05/2019 08:17

So had a family over for dinner and then used their bones to make stock? She sounds like one of us.

Thighlanders, I accidentally went out and got drunk last night. I haven’t had a proper hangover for ages and it’s horrid. How do I recuperate?

TheLoneWolfDies · 18/05/2019 08:48

Aye she sounds wonderful! But you're right Ragn she must be nackered!

TopiaryTartWithATractor · 18/05/2019 09:00

Project I've had a few of those lately. Not today though Smile. Are you being sick? Or just feeling rough. My recommendation is diarolyte and rest and a curry.

TopiaryTartWithATractor · 18/05/2019 09:02

I like your new name Noway. Perhaps I could kidnap my friend and then contact Rag'n'Bone man somehow and then I could say that I'll only let him go if he meets you? He is married I think though.

CarolinePooter · 18/05/2019 09:02

I think that list would not seem odd to a poor person in 1930s Britain, but they would boggle at spending money on Netflix!

Re rag and bone men, does a scrapman count? Anecdote to follow if so.

ProjectGainsborough · 18/05/2019 09:16

No voms yet Topiary. Cautiously eating toast and will look out for Dioralyte when able to leave the house.

We need the scrapman anecdote Pooter!

DanglyTassles · 18/05/2019 09:17

I haven't abandoned you thigh I would never do that, but I got so annoyed with MN not loading that I had to stop trying to load it so that I wasn't experiencing such an unthigh rage about it.

Instead I got pissed with my step-darklord and now I'm in the same boat as Project. I wonder what we should eat to make us feel better? maybe crisps on toast?

DanglyTassles · 18/05/2019 09:19

Oh i see this has been addressed already by TTWAT.

I found some rehydrating soluble thingies. Am having that now to begin recovery!

TopiaryTartWithATractor · 18/05/2019 09:23

Oh DT did you have a nice time? Toast with strawberry jam is nice with a hangover, the curry is for this evening when you are feeling a bit less fuzzy.

TopiaryTartWithATractor · 18/05/2019 09:25

The rehydration stuff is like magic. It doesn't work if you keep vomming it up as I did a couple of weeks ago though.

RagnBoneManFucker · 18/05/2019 09:29

Fry ups, the greasier the better, are what you need Project and Dangly. I'd quite like one myself now but it would entail too much effort. Can you get fry ups delivered I wonder?

I like your new name too topiary, and I especially like your plan to kidnap R n B man. He is married but I only want to show him the tattoo I have in his honour. I won't touch him if you're reading this Mrs R n B. Unless I absolutely have too ...

What's your story pooter?

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 18/05/2019 09:45

I used to think I should have a career as a hangover dr. Weak black tea with sugar should be your starting point working your way up to lemon squash and graduating with fat coke.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 18/05/2019 09:46

The worst hangover known to man and what induced me never to drink again was a 5 day long red wine hangover.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 18/05/2019 09:52

I met up with a South African friend, you know how these Antipodeans can drink. Anyway we met at 12pm and continued drinking until 1am solidly - all red wine. Anyway when we next spoke he said if only we'd had something to eat I said we had lunch, dinner and a late night burger. He said did you enjoy the dancing? I said what fucking dancing? Somehow in our drunken state we had scored tickets to see Mikhael Baryshnikov and necked red wine throughout the performance.

I was so ill I couldn't stand up the next day. Now I can smell red wine across the room and it makes me feel ill.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 18/05/2019 09:56

I thought you were off the sauce DT? I see you are corrupting children too, bonus points.

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TopiaryTartWithATractor · 18/05/2019 09:59

That's great Thigh.
Only two weeks ago I was apparently stage diving off the table in the pub with my friend. I vommed all the next day, it's nothing to be proud of, I am way too old for that shit and I haven't drunk since, apart from half a cider on Thursday evening actually. I shouldn't drink really.