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Original poster

So where can I find a single middle aged man?

97 replies

ohwellstartagain · 07/05/2019 13:04

Be gentle, am feeling very deflated. A guy I know asked me out for drinks and a gig last week. I thought it went really well. Hadn't been into him before but had such a great time when out that I really, really liked him by the end. However, he is clearly not interested. On the date I told him about a new hobby I have started and he asked me to text him to remind me when I was going again as he would like to go. So I have and the reply is basically, I'm too busy, bit broke, would like to meet up again, not sure when, might see you at (the class we met at) but I'll be busy that day and probably to tired to go - see you when I see you - bye!.

So couldn't be clearer he is not interested. Totally bummed as I had thought we got on really well at the night out.

So where the hell do I meet a single middle aged guy? All the things I go to are full of younger guys but not guys my age. I guess there is online dating, the thought gives me the shivers, but maybe I should try it - I'm not getting any bloody younger and I'd like to have a romantic relationship before the menopause hits (probably in next 2 to 3 years..) I know there is a site for people aged over 45 - has anyone tried anything like that. Any advice?

OP posts:
CurtainsOpen · 07/05/2019 13:38

Literally any pub ever

barryfromclareisfit · 07/05/2019 13:41

I know one. You can have him. He’s a cunt. Handsome, though, and solvent. Currently knocking off his business partner but she’s married. Covert narcissist - don’t cross him.

Original poster
ohwellstartagain · 07/05/2019 13:48

Nah, not into the Cunty types.

A pub- never had success there. And all my friends are younger and sodding pregnant. I have no-one to go to the pub with!

OP posts:

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wheresmymojo · 07/05/2019 13:49

What do you consider middle aged?

Original poster
ohwellstartagain · 07/05/2019 13:49

Seriously - are there hobbies that attract single middle aged guys? I could maybe take up that hobby!

Everything I go to is overwhelmingly female - and the few guys are younger. Where are all the bloody middle aged single guys? Do they just not exist? They must exist!

OP posts:
Original poster
ohwellstartagain · 07/05/2019 13:50

middle aged - I guess early forties to early-mid 50's.

OP posts:
wheresmymojo · 07/05/2019 13:50

My first thoughts are:

  • Golf clubs
  • Running clubs
  • Cycling clubs
  • Anything to do with motorsports or classic cars
  • Rugby matches
FiremanKing · 07/05/2019 13:51

Learn to play golf.

Lots of divorced middle aged men who miss having a wife and are desperate to find a replacement.

Northernmum100 · 07/05/2019 13:53

Judging from my loved up friend, a walking group ! They all go off walking followed by food/pub and this is how they met. She is mid/late 40s, he is early 50's.

Original poster
ohwellstartagain · 07/05/2019 13:59

Ooh - there is a golf club near me - though probably full of much older retired blokes given the demographic around here. And I hate golf - still maybe worth a go as I am getting that desperate.

Cycling - nooo - I would just get left behind.

Running - distinct possibility.

Walking group - we may have a winner! I love walking - right, off to google walking groups.

OP posts:
Callywalls · 07/05/2019 14:26

@ohwellstartagain - it's his loss (the man you went on a date with) you sound like you have a great sense of humour, are cheerful, very active, friendly and great fun - what more do these men want? He sounds like he would have only messed you around anyway, nothing worse than waiting for someone to make up their mind whether they can go out or not. With your positive attitude I am sure you will meet the right person soon!!

Callywalls · 07/05/2019 14:28

Also, my extremely good looking male 50 something friend joined a walking group after his divorce and met his new partner there. Are there any facebook groups for activities for single people in your area? Good Luck!!

Northernmum100 · 07/05/2019 14:37

Me again, try this link- it is around £18 for annual membership and you can walk all over the county. Good luck!
www.ldwa.org.uk/index.php

Original poster
ohwellstartagain · 07/05/2019 14:44

@Callywalls Thanks so much for the boost from your positive comments! I really needed it!

@Northernmum100 - thanks!

I really appreciate the helpful comments on this thread - Mumsnet at its best Smile

OP posts:
QueenKubauOfKish · 07/05/2019 15:08

Oh god tell me about it. I don't have much time for hobbies etc but I really like creative and craft things... but anything like that I go to is all women. I don't even really want a relationship as such, I'd just like to be around some nice men, maybe have a flirt or a fling. Just to feel like I haven't waved goodbye to all that forever.

The pub! :o There's a pub right on the corner of my street. Shifty-looking, bleary-eyed, chainsmoking blokes who look like they don't look after themselves at all frequently spill out of it - yes they're middle-aged but no thanks.

Golf - hmmm can't say I could be arsed, but worth a try if you're up for it OP!

MyGastIsFlabbered · 07/05/2019 15:17

It's still very early days but I got lucky on Tinder!

Original poster
ohwellstartagain · 07/05/2019 15:59

Tinder!!!

I was thinking more Older Hearts.... I would have the advantage of being one of the younger women, given their over 45 criteria. I was hoping that would give me a competitive edge...

OP posts:
VoteJadot · 07/05/2019 17:26

OLD but crucial bit with no height filter. Go for the shortarses, decent guys pleased to get any attention and much less competition.

LaurieFairyCake · 07/05/2019 17:38

Lesbianism

Half my middle aged female mates are doing that

YoYoYumYum · 07/05/2019 17:59

Why bother. A dog is far cuter, more loyal and easier to train.

Leeds2 · 07/05/2019 18:06

The NT sometimes organise special one off conservation days, so something like clearing a pond or stream. I bet some single men turn up, and it is a worthy cause even if they don't!
Night school classes, although ones near me seem to only offer GCSE English and maths these days.
There are holiday companies that arrange tour holidays for singles, which might be worth a punt if you can afford it. Although I believe the singles could be one half of a partnership going without their partner, iyswim.
Meet up, which I think is more about making friends locally rather than meeting a partner, but I bet you could meet a partner there!
Badminton club.

maddy68 · 07/05/2019 18:10

Real ale pubs. They are generally full of really nice middle aged men, but also a really comfortable environment. I have been to several by myself and don't ever feel intimidated

Alienspaceship · 07/05/2019 18:17

You can finders of them at the end of train platforms Grin and I can guarantee they are genuinely are single....

Alienspaceship · 07/05/2019 18:18

Find them

Charmlight · 07/05/2019 18:24

Are you interested in cars?
Classic car auctions are full of middle aged men. Pretend you are possibly interested in buying in the future. Do a bit of preliminary research.
Like any hobby, people are keen to help and offer advice. They seem to be quite civilised.

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