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Original poster

So where can I find a single middle aged man?

97 replies

ohwellstartagain · 07/05/2019 13:04

Be gentle, am feeling very deflated. A guy I know asked me out for drinks and a gig last week. I thought it went really well. Hadn't been into him before but had such a great time when out that I really, really liked him by the end. However, he is clearly not interested. On the date I told him about a new hobby I have started and he asked me to text him to remind me when I was going again as he would like to go. So I have and the reply is basically, I'm too busy, bit broke, would like to meet up again, not sure when, might see you at (the class we met at) but I'll be busy that day and probably to tired to go - see you when I see you - bye!.

So couldn't be clearer he is not interested. Totally bummed as I had thought we got on really well at the night out.

So where the hell do I meet a single middle aged guy? All the things I go to are full of younger guys but not guys my age. I guess there is online dating, the thought gives me the shivers, but maybe I should try it - I'm not getting any bloody younger and I'd like to have a romantic relationship before the menopause hits (probably in next 2 to 3 years..) I know there is a site for people aged over 45 - has anyone tried anything like that. Any advice?

OP posts:

NaToth · 08/05/2019 19:02

I found mine when we were both 'volunteered' by friends to support a campaign against a demolition order in our community.

Friends have found theirs when they employed him to fix their garden or when they had a new washing machine delivered.

Keep doing all the things you like to do. You will soon meet people who like the same things as you and those people know other people. Expand your network and it will come together.

usernamepinched · 08/05/2019 19:03

There are some 'young ramblers' groups set up. A quick google and I found affiliate groups in Surrey, Chesterfield, Leeds&Bradford, Peterborough, Shropshire, Leicester&Rutland, Dorset etc... Have a google OP

usernamepinched · 08/05/2019 19:03

Young being 20s-40s/50s

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

General relationships Menopause Women's health

Panicmode1 · 08/05/2019 19:24

My surgeon, single brother spends all his spare time mountain biking, surfing or sailing.....or doing exams and/or revising for exams....!

LadyOfTheCanyon · 08/05/2019 19:47

Meetup.com. A few of my friends have had success friend wise and romantically on there.

sessell · 08/05/2019 20:06

Sorry to muscle in on your thread OP but I'm in the same boat! This thread has cheered me up and I'm definitely joining walking groups now! I love walking anyway so win-win. Good luck

CoolHonda · 08/05/2019 20:20

Buy a motorbike. Lots of lovely single men around and you will be irresistably sexy to them too.

MitziK · 08/05/2019 22:15

And lots of very married ones who have banged out thousands of family money on something to socialise pick up women who look good in leathers on the weekends with.

GrannyHaddock · 08/05/2019 22:26

Have a look at HF holidays.

ghostmouse · 08/05/2019 23:37

I met mine at work, we also had a shared hobby which was walking, he invited me to the walking group he belonged to and things grew from there. Found we had a fair bit in common..we were friends though first although I had a secret crush on him, he liked someone else, that never worked out and then it happened!

He's 48 and I'm 41

I'd say work or hobbies is the way forward, maybe even the pub thrown in too

sourdoh · 08/05/2019 23:49

Fab thread! OP I'm in a similar boat and have been thinking about motorcycle groups or anything to do with cars to meet men.
I'm 43 and on the lookout for some good company without the hassle of OLD.

Am watching with interest. Good luck in your search!

sourdoh · 08/05/2019 23:50

Oh and rambling/hill walking. I love being outdoors but not so much on my own. Probably a confidence thing.

theoldtrout01876 · 09/05/2019 02:06

ohwellstartagain OOh I have one, hes great. A friend of my DH who is looking for a serious relationship. Hes not having much luck on OLD as he keeps getting told hes too nice.
He really is nice, Id go so far as to say too nice. Ive known him for 15 years and he is genuinely lovely. Hes divorced with an 11 year old and I can say with hand on heart the divorce was not his fault/idea. Him and the ex w co parent perfectly and have a good relationship . Its all about the childs welbeing.
Hes solvent but not rolling in it. Owns his own house, works full time and earns $80ish thousand a year.
Hes fun without being rowdy, hardly drinks, doesnt smoke or do drugs.
I so want him to find a woman to make him happy, hed be a good catch for someone Im sure.
What do you think of the USA?

theoldtrout01876 · 09/05/2019 02:15

Oh and hes 54 btw

BikeRunSki · 09/05/2019 07:01

Retrain as a civil engineer, the male:female ratio in every team i’ve worked in is about 20:1.

Original poster

ohwellstartagain · 09/05/2019 12:22

Friends have found theirs when they employed him to fix their garden or when they had a new washing machine delivered
This happens in real life?! I thought this was only in 1980's porn! 'Here is my washing machine, Fixing Man, oh gosh - all my clothes have fallen off'.

Retrain as a civil engineer, the male:female ratio in every team i’ve worked in is about 20:1 that really would be dedication to finding a man.

What do you think of the USA? Sadly, even the lure of a good man could not persuade me to leave behind free health care and effective gun control laws.

OP posts:

CoolHonda · 09/05/2019 17:05

@MitziK. LOL Are you speaking from bitter experience?

LuluBellaBlue · 09/05/2019 17:09

I go to something called 5 Rhythms dance / movement class and it’s 50/50 male female ratio aged 18-70 years!

SciFiRules · 09/05/2019 17:13

500 AD to 1500 AD

ImposterSyndrome101 · 09/05/2019 17:22

Can I follow on and then as where can I find a decent single guy aged between 20-35ish?

CoolHonda · 09/05/2019 21:06

Back to my original suggestion...buy a motorbike.

MitziK · 09/05/2019 22:57

@CoolHonda grew up with a big brother (DB2 out of 3) racing the things (I was the mini Grease Monkey - at least until we were caught with him teaching me racing starts down the road with a non road legal 500c Kwacky when I was 13).

I spent enough time watching those men at meets when there wasn't a race to see they were dicks (and usually shit/reckless riders, especially when trying to impress a young woman or felt their masculinity had been impinged by somebody in a car). They'd be full of it and very offended by a teenager pointing out that their fuel mix was off or their mud encrusted plate on a pristine bike was fooling nobody, least of all the three bike coppers that I just saw walking through and clocking it.

Once back in school uniform and therefore invisible, I'd sometimes see Dads back with their wives and kids during the week, rather than the very young women they'd been with at the weekend.

My brother was no angel, either, which led to my dropping out of the social side before I was old enough to not have my brother growling audibly at boys with their 125s, as I liked his wife and refused to lie for him again she was one of those younger women until he got her pregnant at 18; he was 29 and already engaged to somebody else at the time.

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