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Original poster

So where can I find a single middle aged man?

97 replies

ohwellstartagain · 07/05/2019 13:04

Be gentle, am feeling very deflated. A guy I know asked me out for drinks and a gig last week. I thought it went really well. Hadn't been into him before but had such a great time when out that I really, really liked him by the end. However, he is clearly not interested. On the date I told him about a new hobby I have started and he asked me to text him to remind me when I was going again as he would like to go. So I have and the reply is basically, I'm too busy, bit broke, would like to meet up again, not sure when, might see you at (the class we met at) but I'll be busy that day and probably to tired to go - see you when I see you - bye!.

So couldn't be clearer he is not interested. Totally bummed as I had thought we got on really well at the night out.

So where the hell do I meet a single middle aged guy? All the things I go to are full of younger guys but not guys my age. I guess there is online dating, the thought gives me the shivers, but maybe I should try it - I'm not getting any bloody younger and I'd like to have a romantic relationship before the menopause hits (probably in next 2 to 3 years..) I know there is a site for people aged over 45 - has anyone tried anything like that. Any advice?

OP posts:
HappyHedgehog247 · 07/05/2019 19:53

I got lucky on Tinder. I only joined because it was free. I did a lot of swiping left.

Original poster
ohwellstartagain · 07/05/2019 20:03

What don’t you like about rugby?

I just don't really like team sports at all really. Football, rugby, cricket - just not interested. Plus I live in Wales so EVERYONE goes to rugby.
Literally, EVERYONE. You may as well try to pick someone up at the supermarket.

there’s a position for every shape. So whether you like them tall and thin or solid lumps or just normal Grin Not sure I am in a position to be fussy about shape..

OP posts:
RuggyPeg · 07/05/2019 21:14

Cycling isn't a solo sport at all. There are great swathes of the bastards cyclists from clubs riding round together in gangs near me.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

General relationships Menopause Women's health
boxlikeamarchhare · 07/05/2019 21:27

I might be slightly biased but I wouldn't go for a cycling group (STBXH massive cyclist and prat with it). The groups near me are fast and furious, all wearing the most expensive swish clothing they can find - come across as completely up themselves.

I wouldn't do online dating either, again just my experience, STBXH was on three dating sites whilst still in our family home, five years knocked off his age, divorced (he is not), seeking a younger woman. I would be too wary that everyone I met might be a lying bastard or that my lying bastard radar wasn't sufficient enough to detect one.

I am recently separated and not remotely interested in any sort of romantic liaison but I can say that the tennis club and rowing club both have plenty of eligible looking men, some short, some tall OP Grin.

AuntieMarys · 07/05/2019 21:29

My ex is available.
Grin

boxlikeamarchhare · 07/05/2019 21:38

I bet a few of us could say that Marys!!

Dowser · 07/05/2019 22:34

Pof

Dowser · 07/05/2019 22:39

My first husband was a shortarse...a cheating shortarse at that.
This husband says he suffered from little man syndrome
Even though he barely met him

Dowser · 07/05/2019 22:41

I used to be a bereavement counsellor with cruse and one of the ladies I was working with who was probably early 50s and devastated to lose her husband, joined a walking group and met a lovely man there.

HypatiaCade · 07/05/2019 22:41

Oh, rats, you said you don't like cricket - the local cricket club on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon was going to be my suggestion. In fairness you get to sit and chat to the players when they're waiting for their turn to bat - and most decent cricket clubs have a bar where you can buy a drink.

Beansandcoffee · 07/05/2019 22:42

Sign up to a couch to 5k running group. Park run on a Saturday morning either running or volunteering.

MyGastIsFlabbered · 08/05/2019 08:15

I think my ex-husband is now available again...I think he's on Bristlr...but I wouldn't wish him on my worst enemy Hmm

BikeRunSki · 08/05/2019 08:19

Cycling clubs
The MAMILs are largely single because their ex wives are on here and started threads about ”DH’s hobby takes up all his skate time”.

ShatnersWig · 08/05/2019 08:36

My first thoughts are:

Golf clubs
Running clubs
Cycling clubs
Anything to do with motorsports or classic cars
Rugby matches

I'm clearly an odd single middle aged man, as I don't do any of those things.

bloodywhitecat · 08/05/2019 09:01

Tinder worked for me. Swiped right when I meant to swipe left (his profile had a photo but no introduction, I had set myself a minimum standard of a decent photo and at least a few words about themselves) and he responded before I could figure out how to undo what I had done. We got chatting, after a couple of weeks he drove a 100 miles to meet me for breakfast and I'd found myself an honest, open man who doesn't play games.

QueenKubauOfKish · 08/05/2019 09:14

Yes a lot of MAMILS are selfish twats whose wives got fed up of them buggering off cycling all the time and ignoring their kids/marriages. OK if you yourself want to go cycling all the time of course.

IndigoSpritz · 08/05/2019 09:17

I'm a single, middle aged man. We do exist in some quantity but, if they are anything like me, we tend to keep ourselves to ourselves. This might explain why we're single and not so easy to find !

Good luck in your search, OP.

Original poster
ohwellstartagain · 08/05/2019 11:34

I'm clearly an odd single middle aged man, as I don't do any of those things
@Shatnerswig so where do you hang out?

This husband says he suffered from little man syndrome
Isn't it more likely its just because he is a cheating arse which is unrelated to his height? I think it is really unfair that if a man is short all his character traits become due to his height. He gets angry - its because he is short! He cheats - its because he is short! He's a nasty git - its because he is short. Average sized and tall people get to be dickwads in their own right, without it being due to their height - why not short men too?

OP posts:
ShatnersWig · 08/05/2019 13:38

My sports are sailing and badminton. Unfortunately both are completely hopeless for meeting single women. To be fair, at least locally, would be bloody useless for a woman wanting to meet a single man, as sailing clubs here are very family-oriented and while far more men than women at badminton, they're all coupled up. In fact, useless for even socialising - they turn up, play, go home. No drinks afterwards or anything.

I'm into music and theatre rather than sport. Far more women involved in those locally but rarely single ones.

Many people suggest running but I know many single women who do parkrun and never met a guy through it.

Original poster
ohwellstartagain · 08/05/2019 17:33

Thanks Shatnerswig for the reply.

Think my first port of call will be ramblers - another trawl through meetup to see if there are any likely looking things going on there. Give it 6 months then maybe face the ordeal by fire of internet dating...or even golf...

Thanks everyone.

OP posts:
MitziK · 08/05/2019 18:54

Local gigs.
Conservation volunteering. Especially 'physical' stuff, rather than cleaning out cages and the like at a wildlife hospital or sanctuary.

MsMustDoBetter · 08/05/2019 18:55

He's probably out cycling.

MitziK · 08/05/2019 18:56

Ramblers are usually pushing 60 or have a wife in tow.

Cyclists - never. Just don't do it if cycling is their 'thing'. Liking riding a bike is different - to differentiate, find out whether their bike is a beat up old thing or under £400. If it's over a grand, run for the hills.

PickAChew · 08/05/2019 18:56

In his mother's attic bedroom. He's single for a reason.

thenightsky · 08/05/2019 18:58

Get into cars. I go on lots of car rallies, track days, car shows etc and continually meet middle aged single men (with lovely cars). I'm married so not interested though. But yes... cars, get into cars.