So where can I find a single middle aged man?

[ohwellstartagain]

Be gentle, am feeling very deflated. A guy I know asked me out for drinks and a gig last week. I thought it went really well. Hadn't been into him before but had such a great time when out that I really, really liked him by the end. However, he is clearly not interested. On the date I told him about a new hobby I have started and he asked me to text him to remind me when I was going again as he would like to go. So I have and the reply is basically, I'm too busy, bit broke, would like to meet up again, not sure when, might see you at (the class we met at) but I'll be busy that day and probably to tired to go - see you when I see you - bye!.

So couldn't be clearer he is not interested. Totally bummed as I had thought we got on really well at the night out.

So where the hell do I meet a single middle aged guy? All the things I go to are full of younger guys but not guys my age. I guess there is online dating, the thought gives me the shivers, but maybe I should try it - I'm not getting any bloody younger and I'd like to have a romantic relationship before the menopause hits (probably in next 2 to 3 years..) I know there is a site for people aged over 45 - has anyone tried anything like that. Any advice?

Meant to say that you need to go well before the actual sale - it’s the viewing time before that will allow contact/chat.

Also what sort of man are you looking for. I am currently married but have thought about this (OK I am a total cf) I want a solvent one more than a good looking one now that I've had the children. So agree golf courses (especially with high green fees) rugby clubs or private health clubs. I do wonder if a health club subscription would pay dividends in the long run.

I met DH at a running club

my friend has got together with a guy from her cycling club

Another friend took up sprint triathlons at 45 and met her DH there

My conclusion is that exercise is good for your love life

I have met loads of nice chaps here, on one of these....😎😉😃

www.neilson.co.uk/

When you get there just sign up for an (included) dingy/waterski/windsurf/kayak/tennis/cycling class!

Avoid school holidays / and maybe search on adult only weeks

Join a private member’s club if you are in a big city. I’m a member at a posh one in London but don’t have enough time to hang out there and meet men! The ones I’ve observed, though, come across as knobs. My club arranges all sorts of interesting events - art, lectures, film nights.

Parkrun has been mentioned many times as a potentially good place for meeting people.

Another vote for walking groups. A couple of friends have met their long-term partners in such groups. And if you don't click with anyone in that way, you still make friends and get fit.

Don't know, but watching thread with interest since dh announced he's checking out of our marriage. I'm already premenopausal so most the online dating profiles of similar ages to me (want kids) are out and I'm not after someone old enough to be my dad! Even as old as 50, guys seem to think they can attract a young fertile woman! Though a friend is trying to set me up with his mate, a surgeon no less)

Is there a local dogging group nearby?

I second rugby. One of my friends met her DP there when she was working at a local club

Go for the shortarses, decent guys pleased to get any attention and much less competition Top tip. Especially as I am a shortarse myself.

Lesbianism Ah yes, briefly considered this, but sadly would need a course of sexual conversion therapy first, and, as we know, that is not actually a thing...

Why bother. A dog is far cuter, more loyal and easier to train Yeah, but I don't have to clear up a man's shit after him and carry it home in a plastic bag. That alone is a good reason to prefer a man over a dog.

Leeds2, conservation days a possibility, meetups I have been to here seem full of younger men - not like where I used to live. Not sure why. Population is smaller here I guess, so fewer people overall at the meetups. I did used to like badminton as a child....

Real ale pubs I genuinely like real ale! And my first boyfriend had a beer belly (at 17!), so that won't put me off. Will add real ale pubs to my google list...

You can find them at the end of train platforms No. Just No.

I don't have to clear up a mans shit and carry it home in a plastic bag

Remember, middle aged men turn into old men and shit carrying may be round the corner

Is there any chance you're on the south coast? I know a lovely (not tall) bloke there who's single ...

Yes, I 2nd the ramblers. £36 a year. I’m in it and always had a good time on their walks. Friendly people. There are also some plus 40 groups in each area.

I can give you mine. Getting involved in some of these activities as a single middle aged woman sounds like fun, so I need to ditch the husband so I can go dating.

Is there a local dogging group nearby? I would rather be a (born again) virgin serving Vesta for the rest of my life.

No to rugby - I just don't like it. Not interested in cars, but do like vintage, so classic cars a maybe.

Running/ walking a good option.

I want a solvent one more than a good looking one now that I've had the children Hmm that consideration puts golf back on the cards...

Thanks everyone, good job - I feel much more hopeful with all these options!

Is there any chance you're on the south coast? I know a lovely (not tall) bloke there who's single Not an English south coast....

I can give you mine What's his number?

I know you veto'd it but cycling is honestly where they all are.

Or retrain as a HGV driver and hang out at the services with all the truckers.

Cycling is where it is at watch the Giro d'Italia starting May 11th to get your gears going :)

AND normally people stop over for pub lunches whilst cycling so you get double the chance

ohwellstartagain - Please define 'middle age'.

I know a couple from sailing who met each other through the ramblers - both lovely and solvent, divorced, grown up kids, I’d guess they’re early 50s.

I also know another couple in my local rambling group who met walking. I think it’s less pressure than internet dating. You just sign up and go for a nice walk, you’ll meet some nice new friends and if you meet a new man it’s a bonus.

RuggyPeg only if you fancy long boring stories about tacho offences, told by morbidly obese depressives.

My friend just found a lovely new partner she’s been seeing for about 4 months now. She went on Bumblebee which is a bit like Tinder but you only match if you approach them, they can’t approach you. Have a go and see if it’s any good!

Well, maybe to cycling. I am probably still scarred from a holiday cycle with my ex. He was in a cycling club and super fit. He bloody sped off, would wait impatiently at the top of a hill. As soon as I got close he took bloody off again, so I never got a rest. He got angry at me for being so slow, when we finally arrived at the pub he said we were aiming for, they said they had just stopped serving lunches. He was so angry he kept repeatedly kicking the bar. You see why he's my ex....

It's kinda put me off the cycling thing.

DanFMdorking - I defined upthread - early 40's to mid 50s.

I don’t recommend cyclists. It’s a solo sport. Doesn’t bode well for someone single in middle age in my book.

What don’t you like about rugby? There’s a club for everyone rough working class to posh London teams. I promise.Its a genuinely interesting game ( if you follow the Premiership).Best bit is that there’s a position for every shape. So whether you like them tall and thin or solid lumps or just normal they will all potentially be at the club.

Boats are good. Live near the sea?