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Are people shaving their arms now are they?!

215 replies

qwertyskirty · 04/05/2019 18:50

Just seen the venus shaving advert. A woman was shaving her whole arm?! Why?!

OP posts:
Ginfizplease · 06/05/2019 18:40

"Far too hairy for a woman". By whose ridiculous standard? Who decides how hairy women should be?

I have hairy forearms. I haven't given it much thought over the years but recently I have had them pointed out to me by several teenagers (I work in a school). All boys saying "ugh, don't women shave their arms?!". I said "not all women, no, and I'm happy with mine as they are".

MenuPlant · 06/05/2019 18:42

It's not me telling Helena what to do :/

In real life I am free with compliments and support for women and so forth. Because I like women.

I would never tell a woman off for her choice of sanitary protection, having tattoos, shaving their vulva, or anything really. Live and let live.

What I am intetested in is things at a group level, and also the level of cognitive dissonance that do many of us have to operate under just to get by in a confusing, depressing world.

So don't equate me with the women you are now talking about. If that is what you are trying to do.

MenuPlant · 06/05/2019 18:44

Good for you ginfizz.

Where do you think the boys get the idea that girls /women should be shaving their arms? That definitely wasn't an expectation from boys when I was young.

HelenaDove · 06/05/2019 18:45

oh and chin hair turned up when i hit 40 So now have to deal with that as well.

HelenaDove · 06/05/2019 18:46

@MenuPlant i agree with your posts. Smile

HelenaDove · 06/05/2019 18:49

the arm thing is pretty new here to me as well.

ElektraLOL · 06/05/2019 18:49

If people want to remove hair on arms they should wax. It's really not good to shave anywhere really as it grows back very quickly and thick.

HelenaDove · 06/05/2019 18:51

Id much rather carry on spending my time fighting for disability rights and housing/tenant rights than worrying about leg/arm hair.

its just hair

babies4everx · 06/05/2019 18:59

I've always shaved my arms. prefer smooth then hairy arms just as I do my legs 😁

Helmetbymidnight · 06/05/2019 19:00

i have ds and dd close in age, colouring and hairiness. one has been told their hair is wrong, and wants to get rid of it.

ill be taking one to a salon to sort it out soon. can you guess which one?
shes 10.

but menuplant, youre on to a losing argument here. these people dont accept societal/cultural norms are a thing at all. they are you see above any influences. they are certain that if they were born in a inuit family in the 18th century or a pakistani family in the 19 thcentury or in the elizabethan age or in the stone age, their behaviour and/or their style/or their tastes, would be exactly the same as it is now...

DefinatelyAWeeGobshite · 06/05/2019 19:00

If people want to remove hair on arms they should wax. It's really not good to shave anywhere really as it grows back very quickly and thick

Hair doesn’t grow back thicker if you shave compared with any other hair removal method.

It appears to grow back thicker as the razor cuts the hair rather that totally removing it like in waxing, epilating, tweezing etc. The end becomes sharper which results in the stubbly feeling and looking like it’s thicker.

If you shaved it definitely would be stubbly but if you left it to grow it’d eventually smooth out again.

(Like me when I shave my legs once every so often and they becomes hairy but soft again Smile)

NottonightJosepheen · 06/05/2019 19:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ginfizplease · 06/05/2019 19:23

@MenuPlant I wish I knew. One was an 11 year old (he said something like "wooooaaaah look how hairy your arms are!".

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 06/05/2019 19:36

How do you think comments like , help in any way, Helmet? They don't. They are more likely to turn people away from bothering to read your views but I'm sure that doesn't matter.

At least MenuPlant is polite. I'm actually interested in her view and I'm an avid waxer (blonde, light hair everywhere). I'm usually vocal on these threads.

I'm interested on the point of advertising; if we take bodies and hair out of it and apply it to, I don't know, buying a car perhaps, and I say that my Audi is the best car, the paint colour is the most attractive... am I saying that Decomposing's (for example) BMW in a different colour is therefore not good, not desirable?

Advertising is huge and we allow it to encroach on all of us, to influence us to buy x,y,z, we watch a,b,c, etc. It would be a bit short-sighted to say that it doesn't influence our choices because as MenuPlant has said, we don't live in a vacuum. I'd agree also that it's insidious, probing our insecurities and making us actively move towards - or away from, certain things.

I've always hotly denied that hair removal is anything other than personal choice and MenuPlant is saying the same thing, I don't read her posts as controlling. If I think of my own hair (blonde and fine), it really wouldn't matter if I didn't wax my legs because the hair probably wouldn't be noticed but for somebody with darker or thicker hair, they might not feel so carefree. So I'm comparing apples with pairs, I will never feel the same as a darker haired woman because I am not one, will never experience the same pressures she might face.

I think that what irks me with this hair-removal argument is that the usual vile comment trotted out (not on this thread, yet) is something along the lines of 'your partner must be a paedophile'. I think that sort of comment puts women on the defensive immediately (and rightly so) but it undermines what posters like MenuPlant are actually saying - that we're all free to do what we want, just that we should be aware that the pressure is coming from somewhere and it's not from us individually. If I think about car-buying, I get that and can transpose that to hair removal.

I shaved my arm hair once just to see what it was like. It made my skin feel clammy so I understand what non-removers feel when they say they prefer to keep their pubic hair. I personally don't, I get everything removed because I prefer the feel and look of that. I suspect that IF it wouldn't have such a pornification 'alliance', for want of a better term, AND that the next generation of young women are being pressurised into removing their hair, that nobody would bat an eyelid over the personal choice element, if that were truly what it was.

I can say that for me, it's nothing to do with porn. I'm married, never have been or would want to (or be able to) be a porn star but, for a young woman who is going through puberty to be coerced/forced into hair removal - or feel different and not in a positive way, that's really not good and I wouldn't want my daughter to feel this pressure. But she undoubtedly will. I'm concerned about that. How does this get stopped?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 06/05/2019 19:39
  • next generation of women were NOT being pressurised to remove body hair
DecomposingComposers · 06/05/2019 19:45

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe

But does acknowledging the wider effect actually make any difference? If you say that pressure to be hairless negatively affects women then what's the point unless you want all women to stop removing hair?

That's a value judgement to me - it seems like some people are judging those who choose to remove hair as somehow letting down feminism by perpetuating the idea that women should be hairless.

And where does that end? Surely anything less than totally natural could be used to pressure women so what is acceptable and what isn't?

And there are a fair few threads on here with women complaining about male partners beards being scratchy or scruffy. Replies tell them to insist that he shaves it off but why? Surely having a beard is the "natural" state? Shaving your face is removing hair that is naturally there.

YetAnotherBloodyNameChanger · 06/05/2019 19:49

My mother used told me as a young teen that only whores shave their thighs and arms.

So of course I promptly started shaving both and still do Grin

HelenaDove · 06/05/2019 19:51

Does that go for my bit of chin hair too. It didnt turn up till i was 40 but its still naturally there.

DH has a beard. It has never entered my head to tell him to shave it off. His body His choice.

He couldnt give two shits whether i wax legs or not.

NottonightJosepheen · 06/05/2019 19:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BiBiBirdie · 06/05/2019 19:52

I do. I'm pale skinned with dark hair. I don't bother during jumper season but in summer I do. It makes me feel confident.
Same as bleaching a mustache or plucking a chin, I feel self conscious of my arms otherwise.

HelenaDove · 06/05/2019 19:54

"How does this get stopped?"

I think a good start would be for misogynistic bullying in schools to be taken seriously.

DecomposingComposers · 06/05/2019 19:55

HelenaDove

Well yes, exactly. It shouldn't matter. But seemingly it does to some mumsnetters who felt that it was entirely unreasonable for a man to have a beard if his wife didn't like it.

As I've said repeatedly "your body,your choice" without exception.

MrsFoxPlus4 · 06/05/2019 19:56

In the advert the women who shaves her arm has a sleeve. The majority of people have their arm shaved before a tattoo and continue to do so for aesthetic purposes.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 06/05/2019 19:59

Decomposing, I suppose that acknowledging that the pressure is coming from somewhere makes it easier to 'fight' if you know what I mean? I don't want women to stop doing anything they want to do - I'd just like them to be able to do that/not do that because it's what they want.

About men's beards, I think that's a personal taste thing, I don't much like them (my husband has one, it's scratchy). He likes it though so it stays. He also has really long hair and people comment on that.

I think, what it boils down to is that people can't STFU about anything to do with other people. Sometimes it's a positive thing but more often than not, it's a bit disparaging.

I have a daughter and I worry that she will be subject to the same pressure that Menu is talking about. It's not just women and men that talk and make value judgements, it's the advertising and, higher up, it's the porn industry. I don't know how we escape that, I wish I did.

I don't really see this as a feminist issue actually, I see this as a 'protect your child' issue because they'll all grow, all go through puberty and there's nothing I'd love more than to see heavy regulation of our advertising industry so that we (everybody) stop judging what's 'good' and 'bad' and imposing that stricture on other people (mostly women).

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 06/05/2019 20:02

HelenaDove, I'm absolutely with you on that. Bullying in schools is horrendous. I've posted on another thread recently that I had breast reduction surgery when I was just turned 15. Boys used to tease, try to grope - and girls used to call me a 'slut', just because I had big boobs.

I don't know what the answer to that bullying is or how to combat it but, reading other threads here from time to time, what we have in place isn't nearly enough.