Anyone up for a game of Mornington Crescent?

[Plaintree]

I'm starting with Bank.

Nidd is incredibly non-U.

I’ll get my maid to do it for me. Her sort don’t mind, they’re built for it.

Kings Cross. The old dirty one, gosh that was fun.

Non-U it may be, but Nidd remains an unavoidable consequence of the most egregious infractions of the rules of this noble game. I am sure you understand my meaning here.

Are we playing by international rules (by which I mean those ratified in Beirut in ‘77, not the Oslo travesty of the following year?). If so, I offer you

Grand Central Station

Well I don’t think any of us saw that coming!
Reclining back on the antimacassar, I now proffer Shepherds Bush

I've just flown in from the Oslo Victorian Shunting Conference. There were some poor presentations to be honest about play on the Central Line.

However, Dr Mable Threcklefield presented a majestic thesis about the interplay of nodal power, leaving the current position as surely

Marble Arch

Some say that all play on the Central line is poor, Autumn , I couldn't possibly comment myself. However Mummy Pingu brought us all up to believe that if one must dally on the Central line (it is after all home to Chancery Lane, where Mummy P's poor, overworked divorce lawyer resides), it's safest to do it as the penultimate play in a Swithback Seven, which I'm sure you know is only allowable at High Tide in an evenly numbered month with written permission from a Cardinal.

Thus, to use the vernacular of a far less august game I will see your Marbel Arch, and raise you

Elephant and Castle

Yes, the Central line has always been problematic. Were you there at the Convention in Marrakech in ‘47, when the Adjutant General suggested that all play on the Central line (notwithstanding the Swithbank Seven) should be conditional on the Northern line being in knockings unless Kings Cross was under water? The diplomatic repercussions went on for years and the Ambasssador was only mollified once Mama Pingu had performed that party trick. Again.

But I digress. Younger players who’ve only joined since ‘64 won’t remember,

Turnham Green

The problem with the Central line dates back, of course, to poor integration of the eastern half of the line when it was finally opened after the War. I do feel that if we had prioritised this issue in 1945 then much misery and confusion would have been avoided. Hey ho.

Maud's last move has left me unpleasantly boxed in. I shall have to activate an emergency Triplehammer and vault to Debden.

You’re quite right, Irene, about the historical perspective. I understand that Central line integration was on the agenda at Yalta but Stalin scuppered it, the scoundrel.

Raynes Park

The South Western rule is really only to be played in darkness. According to the rules allied to those about the Central line.

So I play it to get to Waterloo

Oh Waterloo, such fond memories of the party the Mother Superior threw in '94 to celebrate the Waterloo and City Line becoming part of the Underground. Obviously it threw afficionados of the truly classical MC game into fits of the absolute vapours (the fainting couch was pressed into service more times than one could possibly imagine that night - and I don't just mean by Mummy Pingu and Husband #4!), but I feel - as I'm sure my fellow Grand Masters will agree - that for those with a full rounded MC education, it has added a level of je ne sais quoi to that most dreary area of our beloved capital.

Obviously, there can be no other play made than Bank. Don't get lost on your way to the exit, meet in the Coq D'Argent, mine's a bottle of Dom Perignon and some of those delightful nibbly olives! Chin chin!

Ah, that party will never be forgotten and, indeed, some of us who were there still have flashbacks. Wasn’t it there that the Brigadier first attempted a bilateral Turpington to Oxford Street? It seems commonplace now, but it was radical at the time.

Loughborough Junction

Grange Hill

I think that Chigwell is the next logical move. No need for orange faces as is the fashion there, or indeed red ones.

1994 was indeed a momentous year for MC players, possibly only topped by 1969 when Her Majesty opened the Victoria line and her skill at the game of games was outed.

Chigwell? Chigwell? I really thought better of you than that, Saints.

Stanmore

Chalk Farm with the aid of the Northern Heights extension rule. The 1955 quarter final was the first time this rule was used, though the reasons for the Major being absent have never been explained.

You need to ask dementedma about that one, Saints. As you know, I'm not one to gossip, but there's a Very Good Reason that neither she nor the Major have taken part in tournaments in any Equatorial nation since '53.

Victoria

No wonder we’ve been stalled for two days. Victoria, indeed. I assume that was a failed attempt to mollify the Rear Admiral, who’s still sensitive about that encounter with the busker on the southbound platform.

Ongar

Gosh, isn’t Nidd delightful at this time of year? Shame to leave but the Colonel isn’t going to buff his own leg is he?

Clapham Common and isn’t it-shudder.

Well, Nidd is more exclusive than Cap Ferrat, doncha know.

Bayswater Road

Well, Nidd is more exclusive than Cap Ferrat, doncha know.

Bayswater Road

Playing the same move twice is a disqualified move according to the 1948 rules. So from Clapham Common I move to Warren Street.

As for St Jean Cap Ferrat, it's not even in the French version of the game of games.

Do forgive me. It’s the under butler’s day off and I had to operate the telephony equipment myself. It seldom ends well.

Shadwell

Trying to avoid the hipsters I move to Hoxton. I am surprised Maud that you have only one under-butler. Times must be hard for you.

Well, it's still been a Mudchute type of week (not my play, just state of mind) so I'm needing some lightening of the spirits. I may see if dear Bunny can come out to play. Funnily enough we first met at that auspicious event in '94. It involved the Collins sisters(obviously), both junior princes and the major domo of the Ivy. Still don't know how we ended up in Nantwich, but what larks!
Anyway, Eastwards and Cyprus.

Sadly, Saints, my finances have been a little constrained ever since I lent my diamonds to that darling young polo player who was going (he said) to use them to invest in Peruvian haddock futures for me. Strangely, something went wrong and I never saw him, my diamonds or the haddock again (when last heard of, he was in a low dive in Shanghai, where he had been engaged as Mama Pingu’s bridge partner) but we Cholmondeley-Featherstonehaugh-de la Warrs are made of stern stuff so I soldier on.

Battersea Park