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Original poster

Bloody school absence process....does the Equality Act not apply??!

150 replies

Toodependants · 29/04/2019 17:14

School have contacted me because child1 has had 9 days off sick this academic year. Not acceptable; she will be put on report (whatever that mean) and I will be fined/imprisoned etc

I have contacted them for the gazillionth time to tell them that her absence is due to very heavy, very painful periods. She is on Mefenamic Acid AND Tranexamic Acid for the pain and for the bleeding. It's the same drugs that I was on for endometriosis and adenomyosis and I was covered by disability law at work. Absence due to this was not counted as sickness. Doesn't that apply to kids??? Any legal people know the answer?? I'm so fed up with having this bloody conversation with them. It's like ground hog day

OP posts:
redstapler · 30/04/2019 07:26

The GP letter might state 'x has very heavy periods and her mother is currently refusing the most helpful treatment'!

I'd have little sympathy for a request for a letter for school if you were letting theoretical concerns stop your daughter even trying " something that works and at 13 I'd be wanting to see her alone and let her make her own decision

Original poster
Toodependants · 30/04/2019 07:35

My usual GP is very supportive of NOT giving potentially damaging hormone therapy to a 12/13 year old.

Just because you can't be bothered to Google search to find the medical evidence, doesn't mean there isn't a well recognised link between oral contraception and mental health problems redstapler

OP posts:
Sirzy · 30/04/2019 07:36

And of course her suffering like this every month won’t be in any way detrimental to her mental health will it Confused

Interested in this thread?

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General education General health Women's health
Fazackerley · 30/04/2019 07:40

My dd has been taking the pill for 2 years for extremely painful heavy periods. Its changed her life and she no longer panics every month. Her mental health is truly improved.

You are happy for her to take transemic acid but not the pill? I don't understand why you wouldn't help your dd.

redstapler · 30/04/2019 07:44

And of course her suffering like this every month won’t be in any way detrimental to her mental health will it confused

Exactly this. Not even trying the pill in this instance, assuming no genuine contraindications, is like the logic anti vaxxers use.

Original poster
Toodependants · 30/04/2019 07:50

None of you have any idea about 'how my daughter suffers', how effective the treatment is, her preference etc. I am not asking for opinions on treatment options. I am asking for knowledge of the Attendance procedure Vs the Equality Act

OP posts:
Original poster
Toodependants · 30/04/2019 07:52

Until this thread, I honestly had no idea that there were women who ARENT aware of the link between hormonal contraceptives and mental health issues' Confused

OP posts:
redstapler · 30/04/2019 07:57

I'm not denying that some women find it affects their mental health, but the balance of risks and benefits would seem to favour at least trying it.

Sirzy · 30/04/2019 07:59

I know there are risks. I also know there are massive benefits. It’s a balancing act and it doesn’t sound like you have found the right balance and your letting your hysteria have a negative impact on your daughter.

All drugs have potential side effects. I get that having to make those decisions for your child can be hard but you have to do what is needed to help and at age 13 helping them be “normal” is vital.

Original poster
Toodependants · 30/04/2019 08:05

Sounds like neither of you have actually looked at the evidence at all. I suggest you read the numerous papers from around the world. It IS a balancing act you are correct. And the pros do not outweigh the cons. That was certainly true for myself. I am not taking that risk with my daughter. Being a teenager is hard enough as it is

OP posts:
Original poster
Toodependants · 30/04/2019 08:07

Sirzy, she is totally 'normal'. We are talking an average of a day off every 2 months

OP posts:
SpinningDizzy · 30/04/2019 08:07

Until this thread, I honestly had no idea that there were women who ARENT aware of the link between hormonal contraceptives and mental health issues'

Is it not the case that you hear more bad about the pill because the people who don't have any effects don't post complaining about It?
I had bad periods as a child, vomiting, passing out, flooding, super plus tampon wouldn't last one lesson etc. I wasn't allowed on the pill, not because of any potential mental health issues, it because it meant I was a slut Hmm

I suffered for years and it destroyed my teenage years. As an adult, after having DC (difficulty conceiving and then a pg with high risk of miscarriage due do endo and cysts) I have been put on the pill. The pill, because whilst it puts the ovaries into hibernation and so reduces the risk of cysts, there is the small risk of a side effect of cysts so the gynae wouldn't allow injection or coil because you can't stop taking them as easily as the pill. I was also worried about the mental health side effects you read so much about. Especially seeing as my mental health wasn't so great and linked to my cycle. But, I tried it and it has solved everything. I have never been on such an even keel. I don't vomit and pass out every month. I don't flood every month. It has changed my life for the better.

(And I am quite angry that my parents went to such lengths to stop me going on the pill)

Original poster
Toodependants · 30/04/2019 08:07

I am not putting her mental health at risk for that level of absence

OP posts:
Original poster
Toodependants · 30/04/2019 08:09

Well, I WAS put on the pill spinning and the mental health effects were far worse than the menstrual symptoms that it resolved spinningdizzy

OP posts:
redstapler · 30/04/2019 08:12

Anecdote doesn't =data. I've been on it for 20 years and my MH is fine. How do you know your daughter won't benefit?

SpinningDizzy · 30/04/2019 08:14

Yes, but you are not your daughter. You don't know if she would react the same.

And I personally don't believe the 'you're a woman, this is what happens deal with it' philosophy is healthy long term.

Does she already use a tracker to track her mood, period symptoms etc? If not, it might be a good idea to start. But please don't discount treatment for her on the basis that it didn't work for you.

RupertBear15 · 30/04/2019 08:17

My daughter is prescribed Mefanamic acid for painful periods. I requested a letter from my doctor explaining the situation to the school. I paid £25 for it to be written as the school were reluctant to believe my DD even though she was crying in pain on one of the days and explained this to the doctor. If she now needs time off school for it, it’s not a problem. My advice would be to pay for a letter from your doctor which will silence the school. Hope that helps.

Original poster
Toodependants · 30/04/2019 08:17

Yes, YOUR anecdote also does not equal data. Do some research. I'm not discussing it with you anymore redstapler

I would reconsider trying it, IF the current non-hormonal treatment didn't work. But, it does

OP posts:
redstapler · 30/04/2019 08:18

Also the pills we use now are lower dose than some used in the past.

Fazackerley · 30/04/2019 08:18

Can't you try it? Dd2 started taking it at 14 for acne with the proviso that if her mood changed she could come off it. It didn't, it cleared her acne and shes never been happier.

I think you are angry with the wrong people here.

Sirzy · 30/04/2019 08:19

But if it works she wouldn’t be suffering and needing the time off....

Fazackerley · 30/04/2019 08:19

I would reconsider trying it, IF the current non-hormonal treatment didn't work. But, it does

Hallo??! Isnr this thread about your dd missing school due to her heavy painful periods? Its not working then is it?

havingtochangeusernameagain · 30/04/2019 08:25

Not even trying the pill in this instance, assuming no genuine contraindications, is like the logic anti vaxxers use

The Pill DOES have contraindications! I didn't even have to google to know that it can have major side effects, both physical and mental! And even if it didn't have the side effects there is no guarantee that it would work for endometriosis, if only there were. If you aren't well informed, please don't comment.

Anyway the point here isn't about the Pill, it's about the school not listening to what the OP has told them. Can we please stay on topic. And how can you put a student on report for sickness absence? I am assuming this is an academy - they are a law unto themselves?

Fazackerley · 30/04/2019 08:27

Yes it does have contraindications but there is no evidence to say those symptoms remain if treatment is discontinued. Dd has her blood pressure etc taken every three months and I monitor her mood and behaviour.

SoupDragon · 30/04/2019 08:28

Isnr this thread about your dd missing school due to her heavy painful periods? Its not working then is it?

It is working. Just not quickly enough. Hence the suggestion of starting it a day or two before her period is due. I find mine are noticeably lighter if I take ibuprofen for a couple of days before.

This might work and, if it does, it is probably better than putting her on the pill at 13.