Bloody school absence process....does the Equality Act not apply??!

[Toodependants]

School have contacted me because child1 has had 9 days off sick this academic year. Not acceptable; she will be put on report (whatever that mean) and I will be fined/imprisoned etc

I have contacted them for the gazillionth time to tell them that her absence is due to very heavy, very painful periods. She is on Mefenamic Acid AND Tranexamic Acid for the pain and for the bleeding. It's the same drugs that I was on for endometriosis and adenomyosis and I was covered by disability law at work. Absence due to this was not counted as sickness. Doesn't that apply to kids??? Any legal people know the answer?? I'm so fed up with having this bloody conversation with them. It's like ground hog day

13, poor kid to be suffering like that. I would complain too about the non-arrival of the medical card. I think if you take the fight to them, in this case, with documentation of her problem in the form of prescriptions (print out links for what the meds are for if necessary) they will back down. I'd actually mention the Equality Act and the DDA too regardless of legal accuracy.

ihatemyself that was the main gist of my reply email...I am not having her 'punished' for having menorrhagia. I am happy to challenge the rest legally, tbh at this point. I don't know how many times I need to explain the issue. I have kept all the emails.

I did receive a reply to say that the student doesn't know they are on report???! WTAF? What is that? I have asked for clarification over what exactly is and what is the purpose OF 'tutor report'

Just to add, 1 day of unauthorized absence she had was for a school trip to London. I had to tell them 4 times that she was on a bloody school trip WITH THEM, before they stopped sending me letters about it

ihatemyself I am afraid I have fired off a shitty email, mentioning the Equality Act, Disability discrimination, sex discrimination etc...

In hind sight, I should probably have been more sacarine/cooperative

That's really shitty of them. I can understand your frustration about having to repeatedly explain your DDs condition. I wS diagnosed with endow when I was about 30, but looking back had been suffering with it since I started menstruating. I regularly fainted at school, often had to lie on the cold toilet floor because that was the only place I felt some relief from the waves of pain and sickness. I wouldn't wish that on anyone, and I hope that her school would be more understanding given that the gp obviously acknowledges the situation and prescribed such medication.

Are her periods regular? I used to take mefanamic acid a day or two before I knew my period was due, which made the start far more tolerable. Is that something that might be possible?

Thanks for the links handmademitlove

Theemojiformerlyknownasprince it is so frustrating that reasonable adjustments aren't mandatory. It renders it Act useless really, in forcing the hand of crappy companies

gazelda that is a good idea! I have just started tracking her on an app, as she isn't consistent in doing it herself. So we will try that, if she is regular. Did you check with the doctor that was ok?

Ask for a meeting OP.

With a range of people present and set it out. Blow them away with paper trail volume and say that you will make an official complaint to the governors and the LEA if they do not a. sort med card, b. remove the "report", c. desist from harassing you regarding attendance and d.apologise to you and DD (if you really feel like pushing it. Which I would)

I had the same as your daughter. It all came to a head when I was hospitalised after collapsing with one particularly heavy period at the age of 15. I had to have a blood transfusion and was put on the pill. With hindsight, I do wonder whether this was the right decision.
Anywho, as a teacher, I would say you need to contact the head of year and the head of pastoral (probably an assistant principal or vice principal). Your daughter should not be made to feel stressed about her absences.

Millicent GP have refused referral to specialist/for investigation. Because investigation would be too intrusive/ endo or cysts etc v v v unlikely at her age/it will probably settle down and isn't uncommon in first years of menstruation. I always had terrible periods before kids and often took sick days. So, maybe it's hereditary? Had a hysterectomy now due to adenomyosis/endometriosis

I was more worried about the damage to my DD’s education than any letters from the school etc. I was also more worried about the horrific 2-3 days a month she was enduring. Hormonal treatment has given her a huge relief - wish my mum had been less ‘big pharma’ and saved me years of pain and missing things.

CBA posting links sounds like it’s the usual anti-anything mainstream EFFECTIVE medicine. Poor kid

Jesus catandfiddle! 😦

I hope it doesn't come to that for DD! I HAVE explained to HoY, it was her who said that she would issue medical card. This most recent conversation is with deputy head

My prescription for tranexamic acid specifically says to start taking g 2 days before period is due. Of course only works if regular.

Did you check with the doctor that was ok?

Yes I did, although that was as an adult. It's probably best you check with DD's GP just in case.

As it turned out, I took it from a day one or two before I was due, then for the first and second day of the period. Before I started doing that I was taking it for the first 3 or 4 days of the period so overall was taking the same or less medication. If that makes sense!

city and gazelda thanks, you might have solved the problem!

I will phone and speak to GP about this tomorrow. Did you still have a light period though, so you new when your period was??

I had flooding during the menopause and really sympathise.

I had to work as I am self employed and found incontinence pads worked on top of sanitary protection. I needed to change these regularly but with school breaks, it would be do able. PE would not have been.

Is there any options like this that would work?

Not sure how you have pegged me as anti medicine bunny fuller given that DD is on 2 different drugs

I don’t know why is this day and age females still get a hard time over menstruation issues. Its disgusting.

OP I’m an endo sufferer and have had explorations and they are not pleasant. I wouldn’t want my 13 year old having them either.

I don’t know if I’ve missed it but have you had a sit down with the evidence with the head?

Poor kid. I think an email citing the Equality Act etc might actually get their attention and would do the same myself at this point. Their admin sounds terrible apart from anything else.
'reasonable' adjustments are mandatory - the difficulty is always arguing that the adjustments needed are reasonable...

I was in a similar situation to her at school, passing out regularly - oddly some of the nastiest teachers were the only sympathetic ones. In hindsight I suspect they were dealing with chronic pain making them grumpy. The pill enabled me to do GCSEs and A-levels - she'll be able to make her own medical decisions on the subject very soon if not already, as per the Fraser guidelines on Gillick competence.

kez why should a child have to go in school in deep pain wearing an incontinence pad. She would feel humiliated - and still in deep pain.

It’s the system that needs looking at not a 13 year old female in severe pain and flooding.

The pill will likely sort her periods out, whether or not she has underlying endometriosis. Don't let your unusual ideas about mental health side effects stop her from accessing effective treatment and going to school.

Did you still have a light period though, so you new when your period was??

Yes, I still had a period.

Hope this helps you DD.

Worth ringing the Equality Advisory Support Service helpline.

I rang them to ask about awards for 100% attendance, and they confirmed that those risked being discriminatory unless the school could show reasonable adjustments...after I told the school, they're not running the scheme any more.

I think subjecting her to any detriment due to these problems risks constituting both disability and sex discrimination. They also need to have a good look at the DofE guidance on children with medical problems.

I'd do your research on all these points, then go in with references to the relevant statutes and guidance, and politely and calmly give them what for.

shitpark there's quite a lot of studies now linking hormonal contraception to mental health issues. Here is just one article.

Yet more, proof, if it was needed, that the biological needs of girls and women must be ignored, as they need to be shoehorned into a system designed for and by men. I get awful period pain these days bu of course it’s not the done thing to take time of sick for that, is it? Even though if you had pain like that for any other reason you’d probably be at A&E.

Hope you manage to get it sorted, OP. And agree that shoving girls on artificial hormones for this, that and the other is not something that should be normalised.

I sympathise although dds school were brilliant (poor girl having me discuss her periods with a male ballet teacher.

The Dr explained multiple reasons why they don’t like to give girls her age on the pill (she was 13 at the time).

Dd cramped, was physically sick and totally flooded. She wore ultra tampons and towels and they lasted 45 mins. The medication too makes her feel sick. She wasn’t allowed to go to the toilet alone as they had to rescue her a couple of times by climbing over the cubicle door when she fainted (one time hitting her head).

The only consolation op is that about 12 months ago she was able to come off the meds (age 16). She’s still incredibly heavy but it’s managable.