Was I rude to sit in the car?

[Florencenotflo]

Dd - 3y/o is asleep in the back of the car. We're going out with an elderly relative for lunch. Dd has only been asleep for 10 mins but needs at least half hour to make it through lunch without a tantrum.

We're at relatives house purposely early to see other people who have popped in (DH's cousin). DH has gone in and says it looks rude that I'm sitting in the car with dd.

I can't see Dd or even the car from relatives flat (car parked at the front), flat is at the back, so I'd have to keep popping out anyway. We're parked on a road not a drive or car park. Plus if we locked the car and Dd woke up she's set the alarm off, probably scaring the life out of her.

Would you have done the same?

I would do the same as you and not be pressurised to leave my child unattended in the car.

Yes, I would, especially as it will be you having to manage the tantrum.

I absolutely would have done the same as you and told DP not be such a dick.

I agree that it looks rude but you don’t really have another option other than waking DD up. Surely they will understand if your DH explains the reason why?

Same here. People who’ve had kids will understand (even elderly ones ). Husband can explain to others. No biggie.

I can't imagine ever feeling someone was being rude by watching a sleeping child in a car. I'd pop out and come to you if I wanted to say hello.

I would have done the same, he can explain and surely everyone wants to avoid an overturned toddler at lunch.

Personally it does grind my gears a bit when people sit in the car with kids. I try to leave at a time so that they can sleep on the journey or sleep first. If my 10 month falls asleep in the car I usually pick them up gently and move them to the bedroom to sleep more. Sometimes they wake up, mostly not.

But I know I'm probably being unreasonable. I have family that sit outside for hours because their 2 Yr old is asleep, I don't get it. Sorry.

Still I wouldn't be pressured to do anything I didn't want to do though, your kids your choice!

You’re not being rude. Just practical. I would have done exactly the same.🙂

Absolutely the same. You couldn't even consider leaving DD alone. And if you wake her up too early, you will have an exhausted bratty child who may ruin the occasion for everyone. If DH feels strongly, he could wait in the car for five min while you pop in and say hello and then you swap back. But everyone at the event who has had a child will completely understand. Don't know a single parent who hasn't sat in a car with a sleeping child at some point.

I'd probably do the same, but tbh it is rude.

I would have brought the child in. But if you chose for your child to continue sleeping then you were not being rude by waiting in the car

Why did you not leave in enough time for her to nap? I find it a bit rude sorry. My sister does this a lot and it's quite irritating waiting for her. I get that I'm in the minority though

Just wake her, she's 3 fgs. Far too old for this level of preciousness. Rude.

Couldn't you remove her from the car without waking her up?

Not at all rude! If lifting DC out of the car would mean them waking up and lead to a melt down (waking my 2yo DD always does) then I think it's the most sensible thing to wait in the car until DC wakes up!

I'd class it as rather thoughtful really, you're sparing everyone having to endure the tantrum!

Not rude. And not 'precious' either. He

Baby I'd let sleep. 3yo I'd wake up

My dsis did this last time I visited. I drove 3 hours each way with 2 young dc’s and we spent 6 hours there. She sat in the car with her ds for 2.5 hours of it. I get that they need a nap then but I’d come a long way to see her. Her dh was in the house just pottering about, if it was me I’d have asked dh to sit in the car if it wasn’t his relatives. So in your case as it’s your dh’s family, you should be the one to sit in the car.

Not rude as you will have to manage the tantrum.

My nephew tends to onmy nap in the car and wakes if you try and take him out. 95% of the time he's fine and his normal self but occasionally he'll be really crabby. If they need sleep they need sleep and you can't always arrange things around nap time.

I am sure your husband could explain that you will be in in 20 minutes. It will be worth it . He just needs to explain surely?

I would of woken her up and just dealt with it because it does seem rude.

I think the age of the child is the biggest factor here.

You were rude to stay in the car, unless your child is a terrible sleeper or has additional needs then you ought to have gone into the relatives house with a sleepy toddler who would have either
1- come to and maybe been a bit of a grouch, nothing a biscuit wouldn’t sort out!
2- laid her in a bed and she could have a napped there.