Was I rude to sit in the car?

[Florencenotflo]

Dd - 3y/o is asleep in the back of the car. We're going out with an elderly relative for lunch. Dd has only been asleep for 10 mins but needs at least half hour to make it through lunch without a tantrum.

We're at relatives house purposely early to see other people who have popped in (DH's cousin). DH has gone in and says it looks rude that I'm sitting in the car with dd.

I can't see Dd or even the car from relatives flat (car parked at the front), flat is at the back, so I'd have to keep popping out anyway. We're parked on a road not a drive or car park. Plus if we locked the car and Dd woke up she's set the alarm off, probably scaring the life out of her.

I used to sit in the car when dd napped. You can't always control when they fall asleep - sometimes it's 10 mins before arrival! I'd have done the same.

Just wake her, she's 3 fgs. Far too old for this level of preciousness. Rude

Have you dealt with a 3yo that has been woken up too early? It may be a bit rude but its better than having her scream the house down!

If just going to visit family I'd wake them and deal with the fall out. But with going out for lunch we're in damage limitation territory so would sit it out until the nap has reached the minimum necessary length for civilised behaviour!

My DC seem to like the fall asleep approximately 10 minutes before the journey ends trip, however long the journey is and regardless of road type or state. At least DC2 is just about light enough to lift out in his seat!

YANBU

Sleep cycles last about 45 minutes--I would give her one sleep cycle then get her out, since most 3yo who are still napping do not need much daytime sleep at all.

I would have sat in the car with the baby, too.

And DH would have brought me tea and some biscuits. Nice ones. With chocolate. (I would have already had a book handy, because I always do.)

I would've done the same thing too!

I'd probably lift my child out of the car and if they needed to continue to sleep I would ask if I could lie my child down somewhere. I never let naps dictate what we did.

I would have done the same for DS.
For DD I would have carried her in because she would have stayed asleep.
If you were visiting me, I would come out and talk to you!

I'd wake her up and bring her in.

Of course you're not rude. Your child, your choice.
I note that your husband is complaining but not offering any useful suggestions - or himself as either substitute car-sitter, or tantrum-dealer if your DD should be woken.

I'd bring you a cup of tea & sit with you for a while. Honestly, people finding it "rude" - why?

I'd have done the same. I often think my neighbours must think I'm nuts as I sit with my 2yo on the drive for half an hour sometimes!

It isn't rude, you do what works for you and your family.

I admit that I didn't do it beyond the baby stage. Mine were rarely napping during the day by three, and if they did nod off in the car I just picked them up at the end of the journey and took them in regardless. I wouldn't judge people who choose to sit in the car a bit longer with their child. If they were visiting me I would probably go out and offer them tea/coffee etc.

If they need 1/2 nap still I would have planned for a 30 min nap before we got there, either in car or house, or kept them awake in the car and settled them when we got there.

If that didn't work I'd take them in and try to settle indoors. Sitting in the car would have been the last resort in a long list of options when invited to lunch as it does appear thoughtless.

Not rude (unless you spend hours in there). My husband would have gone and explained and brought me out a cuppa! ( we often argued as to who got to sit in the car whilst they slept, radio on cuppa, maybe even five mins nap, perfect!).

It's not rude or precious.

it is rude and precious of grown adults to expect a three year old to be woken and overly tired, to expect you to have to deal with a tantruming kid, rather than wait 20 mins for her to be sufficiently rested. Honestly, those grown ups need to learn how to delay their gratification.

I’m sat in the car with dd3 whist she is asleep outside the shops.

I’d rather look potentially rude than having to deal with a kid that’s behaving like a little arse ruining the meal.

She is 3!! Why is she still in need of a nap EVERY day?

I don’t understand people who say they would leave a baby who was sleeping but not a 3 year old. A baby would be far easier to pick up and carry inside, potentially without waking. Not so easy to carry a three year old without waking them. Plus, a baby would potentially be easier to get back to sleep in a while if they did wake. Persuading an overtired 3 year old to nap amongst a lot of people is not an easy feat!
I don’t think you are being rude at all op and I would have done the same. Your husband could always swap with you after 10 mins so you can pop up and say hello.

No not rude

I didn't know three years olds nap?! Jeepers mine is wide awake from 7.45 every morning until 6.30 - 7..

But if he was to nap, I wouldn't leave him by himself..surely your partner explained, and then I would of popped out to speak to you if you arrived at my house..

I think it's rude of them not to come out, just to say hello?!

Your child is cracking on for four years old. Not a baby anymore as someone else said. It looks odd and rude to sit there.

This reminds me of the Catherine Tate 'baby on board' sketch. Hope the link works..

Https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6hb_bklxyc

YANBU.

You're all going out together later and dealing with half awake toddler unlikely to make you very sociable, DH gets time to catch up with his family, much better not to have a grumpy 3 year old who most will be fed up with long before lunch is over anyway.

I would bring a drink to the car for you and get in and have a chat with you but then im in the toddler stage too so I understand!