Please help I've fucked a trifle

[DishingOutDone]

Making trifle for someone as a surprise. It will be as I don't know how to make one. I got about 8 Sainsburys square-ish trifle sponges in a bowl, layered tinned fruit and syrup from said fruit on top. Made 2 pints of jelly (big bowl), left it to cool, it was a bit warm to be honest. Poured it in. Sponges floating on the top will not sink.

What did I do wrong? How can I get those sponges to sink? Bricks? So depressed this has cost me about a tenner getting all the ingredients and it already looks like a car crash with sponge.

I loved the books as a kids, must hunt them out again. I read your title and all I could think of was the Friends episode where Rachel makes a half an English trifle and half cottage pie. Makes me cry with laughter that episode. As long as you don't have mince meat in it I think you'll be fine.

Your thread has made me laugh out loud and feel extremely poignant.I love the fact that you are making this for your DD.

Let all the PP's who are mocking you for making trifle "in 2019" listen to your DD in years to come when she is talking about the time her amazing mum did something so special for her

I still remember the time my mum did something similar for me. In hindsight, it wasn't the best culinary exercise on the planet it was shit ...but at the time it was the most wonderful thing I had ever eaten. I still cherish those memories and my mum ( she is in her 80's now)

A layer of beef sautéed with peas and onions will do the trick

Custard, good. Jam, good. Meat, good. What's not to like?

Phew, only metaphorical fucking of a trifle!

OP, your trifle sounds yum and I'd happily eat it in any year!

Gives new meaning to getting a cream pie!! Fucks sake, you beat me to it!

Sorry not to reply in a witty and apt fashion but I am afraid I am well into the wine I bought to go with the trifle. Will update tomorrow, once I've fucked it about it a bit more. There may be pictures.

(Seriously considered the beef and onion option BTW)

You need to deduct the fluid from the fruit from the quantities of water required for the jelly, or it gets over-diluted.

If it won't set you can fix the problem by adding an extra packet of jelly (but not more fluid).

Of course you have jelly in a trifle otherwise the fruit would be swimming about in the custard!!!

And I loved those books too!! Had totally forgotten about them but will now hunt them out for my daughters.

Good luck

You fucked a trifle??

Ewww, I'm fucking dis custard

Delicious trifle has NO jelly

Sponge soaked in a bit of booze (sherry/amaretto/ whatever you fancy). Tinned fruit cocktail. Custard. Whipped cream. Decorate top. Easy

For all you American Pie fans - and yes, I thought of it too!!

"And this one time ... at band camp ... "

I agree no jelly in a trifle but some people enjoy it.

I'm going to make @Latetothegame83 prosecco trifle upthread

You can get glittery jelly.

I don't like trifle but I'm thinking of making one for DD with sparkly jelly and silver balls.

Oh that is so sweet (not the trifle...although it probably is ver sweet indeed!). Look at this amazon review with poem I just found of my naughty little sister, adorable!

https://www.amazon.co.uk/hz/reviews-render/mobile-media-feed/1405268158/ref=cmcrrdpmbbcrslimgg_0?ie=UTF8&physicalId=718V3Sn4YyL&imageExtension=jpg&reviewId=R2RZE6MU9OB13

Hope the link works...

Damn I doesn't, sorry.

If anyone can be bothered, it's the second review down and has the picture attached

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/1405268158/ref=cmcrrothrmbbbdcrbtop?ie=UTF8#cmmcrcarousellimages_section

Came back to see if the trifle was unfucked.
If the jelly is set you can tip it out, slice off the offending bit and make a SMALL quantity of fresh jelly.
Redo the fruit and sponge (any sponge thing will work, other than the sort you clean with), and pour the SMALL quantity of jelly over it. Just enough to cover it, so no depth for anything to float in. Now put the bit of jelly you're keeping on top, and the bit you've just poured on should stick to it.
Bung on your custard, whipped cream & silver balls and you're done.

WorraLiberty I'm touched you used up your custard joke on me! Do you know this is the best level of responses ever to a thread I've created? There will be more custard capers later I promise. Bear with.

Lovely thread - looking forward to more updates

So for those of you who've been sympathetic, I think I'm likely to lose you here. First of all, I removed the trifle from the fridge, and I have to say it looked a lot more tasty than it does in this picture. This looks like a Care Bear has thrown something up:

You can see the fork marks in it.

Anyway, then I swiftly added custard and whipped up a large bowl of cream. I quickly realised I had no idea how to add the cream, although younger DD was insistent we abandon it and find a piping bag, I eschewed her advice and put it on with a spatula. It sunk straight into the custard, as you all knew it would.

This left me with big gaps round the side. I could also "see" all your faces, disapproving, but I grabbed a tin of spray cream and decorated the edges! Hurrah!

Some of you will by now have noted that I ran out of spray cream.

Will be back later with the thrilling denouement.

THANK YOU Dishingoutdone this thread is a joy, and the photos are very generous of you.

It will taste fine I’m sure.

🍷