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Original poster

Please help I've fucked a trifle

162 replies

DishingOutDone · 25/04/2019 18:41

Making trifle for someone as a surprise. It will be as I don't know how to make one. I got about 8 Sainsburys square-ish trifle sponges in a bowl, layered tinned fruit and syrup from said fruit on top. Made 2 pints of jelly (big bowl), left it to cool, it was a bit warm to be honest. Poured it in. Sponges floating on the top will not sink.

What did I do wrong? How can I get those sponges to sink? Bricks? So depressed this has cost me about a tenner getting all the ingredients and it already looks like a car crash with sponge.

OP posts:
RoseDog · 25/04/2019 18:57

If you used jelly cubes you should have just used one pack first as that would nicely cover the fruit and sponge, also the jelly might not set because of the syrup, a good jelly tip is to always make a little under what it says on the packet as then its guaranteed to set.

formerbabe · 25/04/2019 18:58

It's 2019! Why are you making trifle?!

chemenger · 25/04/2019 18:59

You have far too much jelly by the ounces of it. I usually split the sponges and generously spread with jam and then stick them back together. I don’t like sherry or other booze in trifle but might consider cherry brandy, but if you do like it add to the sponge before the jelly. Pack the sponge into the bowl. Drain your tinned fruit, keeping the juice or syrup. Scatter the fruit over the sponge. Make up the jelly, using the juice from the fruit instead of some of the water, letting it cool a bit. Barely cover the sponge with the jelly, letting it soak in well. Then layers of custard and whipped cream, top with grated chocolate or hundreds and thousands and you have a classic seventies style trifle.

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Disfordarkchocolate · 25/04/2019 18:59

I really only like the cold custard and cream so I'd still be your friend 😊

Hidingtonothing · 25/04/2019 19:01

Sorry bout your trifle OP but you've made me laugh and helped pass a few minutes for me while I wait for DSS to get here and tell me whether we've got a DGD or a DGS on the way. I'm on tenderhooks Grin

chemenger · 25/04/2019 19:01

Nobody really likes the jelly and sponge, it’s just a carrier for the custard and cream.

LarryGreysonsDoor · 25/04/2019 19:02

It's 2019! Why are you making trifle?!

Because trifle is amazing. I love trifle. However I buy mine as you can buy vegetarian trifle easy enough but vegetarian jelly is an arse to buy.

PinkHeart5914 · 25/04/2019 19:03

Trifle is the work of the devil, best thing to do probably is fuck it American pie style to be honest.

I do worry about people that eat trifle in 2019, I don’t trust them quite frankly.

I think your need to do the sponge, jelly bit again to save this........

CherryPavlova · 25/04/2019 19:03

Trifle shouldn’t have jelly. Seems a very odd idea.

Thin Madeira sandwiches made with raspberry jam
Pour over Sherry or Madeira. Leave to macerate.
Spoon over fruit/compote - raspberry, strawberry, banana, whatever.
Top with chilled, thick homemade custard.
Then a layer or piped double cream and toasted almonds.

IHaveBrilloHair · 25/04/2019 19:04

Hmmm.
Try it, does it taste like feet?

Original poster
DishingOutDone · 25/04/2019 19:04

Hiding

while I wait for DSS to get here and tell me whether we've got a DGD or a DGS on the way - we should celebrate! I'll get some trifle!!

OP posts:
Disfordarkchocolate · 25/04/2019 19:04

Nip to M&S for their best ever trifle or Tesco for their Strawberry and Prosecco. Both very yummy.

MsMightyTitanAndHerTroubadours · 25/04/2019 19:08

you know it's supposed t be cake sponges and not bath sponges?

I was going to suggest letting it set and then turning it upside down

but really jelly has no place in trifle, it's sponge, booze, fruit, booze, jam to match the fruit, custard with booze in, and then cream
No one drives after trifle in this house.

Original poster
DishingOutDone · 25/04/2019 19:11

So I've removed the forks and tipped some jelly out. It all looks very sad. Have stuck in fridge and now wallowing in self pity.

There is a very special reason why I am making a mess trifle. DD has a special birthday tomorrow and last week she told me about a book we'd loved when she was a little girl. Its part of the "My Naughty Little Sister" series. The story is called The Birthday Party. In it the narrator tells of her naughty little sister who goes to a party and how she and her friend Bad Harry steal a trifle:

The story I particularly remember listening to was called 'The Birthday Party' and describes my Naughty little sister going to a party at her friend Bad Harry's house. The children sneak downstairs whilst all the 'good' children are playing 'ring-o'-roses' to have a look at the Birthday Tea.
They admire the table set out with sandwiches, cakes, blancmanges, jellies and biscuits and then:

"Bad Harry said, 'There's something else in the larder. It's going to be a surprise treat but you shall see it because you are my best girlfriend.'
So Bad Harry took my Naughty little sister out into the kitchen and they took chairs and climbed up to the larder shelf; which is a dangerous thing to do and it would have been their own fault if they had fallen down. And Bad Harry showed my Naughty little sister a lovely, spongey trifle covered with creamy stuff and with silver balls and jelly sweets on the top."

So, I was making a lovely spongey trifle covered with creamy stuff and silver balls and jelly sweets. So I do feel a bit sad that the bottom layer is buggered. However, I think I have made things even worse, I have got ready made custard. How can I put ready made custard on the set jelly, and then whipped cream on top? I've done it all wrong haven't I? sniffs

In the story, the kids eat the trifle until they are sick and never touch it again. That bit might come true the way I am going at it. Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
DishingOutDone · 25/04/2019 19:13

Sorry I cut that from another website and pasted too much in but you know, you get the gist. I was trying to do a noble thing.

OP posts:
AgentPeggyCarter · 25/04/2019 19:15

It’s going to be perfect. It’s all about the silver balls, jelly sweets and cream.

You are lovely.

Bluesheep8 · 25/04/2019 19:16

dishingout I LOVED those books!

Bluesheep8 · 25/04/2019 19:17

Yep, silver balls, jelly sweets and cream are what matters here!

Lovestonap · 25/04/2019 19:19

That was definitely the best My Naughty Little Sister book! That and the one where she gets soaking wet fishing I think.
Cover it with cream and silver balls - will be reet :)

FreezerBird · 25/04/2019 19:20

I can see the illustration of that in my mind's eye. It was one of my favourite naughty little sister incidents.

nicenewdusters · 25/04/2019 19:23

Maybe you should have posted in Relationships ? Grin

Needcoffeecoffeecoffee · 25/04/2019 19:23

Ahhh I loved those stories when I waa little.
What a lovely thing to do dishingoutdone I'm sure your dd will love it.
Once you have cream and silver balls on you won't see the bottom and then it will be in bowls.

UCOinanOCG · 25/04/2019 19:24

Once the jelly has set it will be fine. Get the custard and cream on then smother it in silver balls and jelly sweets. It will be wonderful.

MrsMozartMkII · 25/04/2019 19:24

After snorting my tea at the title lass, I shall let you off the abomination that is those sponge finger things.

I don't see why you can't put the custard on once the jelly is (properly!) set?

LyraLieIn · 25/04/2019 19:26

It's going to be delicious, I bet your DD had no idea what order they're meant to be in and wouldn't care if she did.

Such a good plan, it's going to be an amazing treat for her.