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Original poster

Inheritance and fairness

32 replies

NameChangedNoImagination · 23/04/2019 19:09

What would you do in this situation.

You have two children by different fathers.

DC2 grandparents by father give DC2s dad £500,000. DC2s dad gives DC2 that money. DC1 grandparents have no money to give, neither does father. You can afford to give DC1 £200,000.

What do you do?

OP posts:
gerispringer · 23/04/2019 19:11

They are both your children so you must split their inheritance from you equally. You have no idea what will happen in the future.

Almahart · 23/04/2019 19:12

You split your money between them equally

SailorJerry13 · 23/04/2019 19:14

1- are you married ?
2- is DC2 adopted by the father ?

Legally, your partner doesn’t have to give a child that is not his Jack shit.

My dad recently passed away and organised that me and my twin recieve a few thousand pounds, but not my step sister.
(It may be a different situation, but my step sister is vile anyway and took all his belongings and his ashes to taunt me with before we found out about the inheritance.)

Have you spoken to him about it? What are his thoughts

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 23/04/2019 19:17

Is DC2 dad giving them a cut now or future inheritance?
Either way your money is to be split equally and anything their dads sides give is separate imo

Singlenotsingle · 23/04/2019 19:17

That's a hard one. Obviously dc2's money is his own, if he was given it by his father. If you've got £200k to spare, I'd give it to dc1 in an attempt to even things up. Otherwise dc2 is getting £600k and dc1 only £100k.

OddBoots · 23/04/2019 19:20

Are you talking about what to do in the now or what to do in your own Will for later?

Original poster
NameChangedNoImagination · 23/04/2019 19:23

To give them when they are 21.

OP posts:
KaterinaPetrova · 23/04/2019 19:27

It's shit but the grandparents want the money to go to their biological grandchild, rather than their grandchild's mum's child with someone else? It's not nice but they are related to just one child and it's not their fault there's no one to leave the unrelated child an inheritance.

Katebob22 · 23/04/2019 19:29

£100k each. You should treat both equally. £100k is a lot of money.

Original poster
NameChangedNoImagination · 23/04/2019 19:30

£100k feels grossly unfair, knowing that DC2 will have £600k and DC1 will have only £100.

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 23/04/2019 19:31

I agree

ourkidmolly · 23/04/2019 19:32

Yes it does feel unfair. I think I'd compensate dc1 by giving him more. It could cause really big problems between them otherwise. Treating children fairly doesn't always mean treating them them same.

dreichuplands · 23/04/2019 19:33

I would even out the money as much as possible, it seems the fairest way to me.

Sophiesdog11 · 23/04/2019 19:33

Op, your post is still not clear.

Has DC2’s dad already inherited/been given money, and put that money in DC2 name? Or is he saying he will give 500k to DC2 at 21? Are you still with DC2 dad?

If he hasn’t yet put the money in DC2 name, then there is a possibility that DC2 won’t get 500k, whatever his dad says! There are a myriad of reasons that he may not pass on the money at 21.

How old are both DC?

More info would be useful to get good advise.

BasinHaircut · 23/04/2019 19:35

How old are the kids now? I’d this something that you need to worry about now, as you mention when they are 21?

NameChange92 · 23/04/2019 19:39

I would give DC1 the £200k (assuming DC2 has already received the money) if not, i’d put it to one side and wait until DC2 has the £500k and then give it (plus any extra (interest or similar) it’s earned in the interim)

Fruityfruitcake · 23/04/2019 19:40

Are they old enough for you to ask? Obviously you have to give them both 100k, but if I was the sibling with 500k I wouldn't hesitate to tell my DM to give the full 200k to sibling

stucknoue · 23/04/2019 19:43

It's hard but that's the reality of two different fathers. My friends kids at Christmas have very different gifts - she gives equally, ds1 gets lavished with gifts from his absent father whereas ds2 gets far less but his father actually has joint custody and a great relationship - latest problem is ds1's dad wants to pay for private education, that's to be resolved

LizzieSiddal · 23/04/2019 19:46

It depends on whether they are absolutely getting this money when they reach 21, or if it only written into Wills.

If it is definite then I would give ds2 much more.
If they only get it when someone dies I would write something into your will to make things fairer. If DS1 hasn’t received any money yet, I would share your money equally between your sons.

MrsGrannyWeatherwax · 23/04/2019 19:47

Still split equally, DS2 hasn’t received that money and might not ...

Although there’s no need to split it yet surely, if it’s a 21st thing?

(Maybe talk about it unless DS2 inheritance is a secret - my parents told me my brother would be given more and I know and accept this doesn’t mean I’m less loved)

snowdrop6 · 23/04/2019 20:06

Talk to the dc ..ask them what they think is fair..possibly it could all be put in the pot and shared

ChicCroissant · 23/04/2019 20:15

Split your money equally.

Have you got another thread running about this or is it unequal inheritance night on MN Hmm

Moscatel89 · 23/04/2019 20:29

You need to speak to someone who specialises in heritance tax. The money you can give to close relative i.e child without getting stung for tax is different to the money you can give to someone who isn't a relative. You could be landing your child with a huge tax bill and the grandparents as well

ElektraUnchained · 23/04/2019 20:39

How old are the dc? Are they mature enough to have a discussion around it? If I was dc1 I would tell you to give it to my sibling.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 23/04/2019 20:47

Personally I’d be very disappointed if my kid didn’t share with his sibling. Maybe they are not close though?

I think you should try and even things up. Just take care to clearly explain that you love them both the same.