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Original poster

Was DH selfish to go to the football on Easter Sunday?

98 replies

usernamelife · 21/04/2019 18:11

So we told our three dc who are at university that they had to be home for Easter. We usually go for a walk, have a nice brekkie, see family and a nice dinner.

Sadly I had last minute work commitments which meant that I arrived back today at 4pm from New Zealand (bloody knackered).

DH decided there was a football match he HAD to go and see that would take up all day including travel/beers/pub etc. This means we cannot do our usual.

This has left our 3 children who came home specifically for Easter at home on their own until my sister took pity on them and took them out for lunch with her family.

Why can't DH see it's incredibly selfish to go to a football match on Easter Sunday, especially on a day when he knew I wouldn't be able to be there for family time.

(Oh and the house is shit tip even though DC have been cleaning for him)

OP posts:
dontleavemerhisway · 21/04/2019 18:13

You weren't there either

xTinkerhellx · 21/04/2019 18:14

Why did you tell your children they 'had' to be home?

Regardless, if he was going to see Liverpool then you're YABU. Any other game and YANBU.

Bit crappy for the kids to be told they have to come home and then neither parent is actually there.

Alb1 · 21/04/2019 18:15

You are both unreasonable for telling your adult children they had to be home for Easter and then nither of you being there. Yes he is especially unreasonable, but it’s just illogical to tell them they have to come home anyway when there was a risk of you not being there.

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converseandjeans · 21/04/2019 18:16

I think if you knew you weren't going to be there then you should have rescheduled. For example asked them to come first weekend in May or something. I feel a bit sorry for them!

CherryPavlova · 21/04/2019 18:16

No he was probably upset that you’d insisted on children being around and then not been there yourself.
Maybe he invited the children and they weren’t keen.

ScafellPoke · 21/04/2019 18:18

you were both massively unreasonable. I can't believe you told them that they HAD to be there!

You surely knew that you were going to be delayed with work beforehand?

Oblomov19 · 21/04/2019 18:18

Depends what game. Some of them are critical at this time of the season.

And if he asked? To go? Discussed? And how much notice he gave you?

If I'd got hold of big tickets, last minute, I'd have phoned the kids myself and asked if they minded if I went!! Grin

Original poster
usernamelife · 21/04/2019 18:19

I got told about my work commitments on Monday; commitments that I HAD to complete. By this point the DC had booked their travel home.

A football match is a jolly, not putting bread on the table.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 21/04/2019 18:19

I think he was selfish and sending a very clear message that he likes football more than them.

But requiring your DC's presence is also a little strange. Can't they choose when to visit?

SansasSnatch · 21/04/2019 18:20

Can’t believe the dc said yes mum 3 bags full mum!

dontleavemerhisway · 21/04/2019 18:22

Why did they have to be home ?

FenellaMaxwell · 21/04/2019 18:25

I think you’re BU twice TBH - firstly to force your adult DC to come home, and then to be furious with your DH for doing the same as you did.

KnitterOfSocks · 21/04/2019 18:28

I'd have laughed in your face if you told me I "had" to do anything as a grown adult.

Lungelady · 21/04/2019 18:36

They are adults. And can amuse themselves for one day.
I too am staggered at summoning them home

Futureisland · 21/04/2019 18:41

Agree with pp's. Did you actually say that they have to come home? That's ridiculous.

Anyway, if they are at university etc I'm sure they were capable of having family time together without you or dh.

Liverpool52 · 21/04/2019 18:43

Are you my PILs? They also think it's perfectly acceptable to order grown adults to drop everything and do as they're told. You'll probably find yourself very swiftly with three adult children who don't want to come home.

Bythebeach · 21/04/2019 18:44

I don’t think it was right to tell you uni kid they ‘had’ to be home for Easter!

bigchris · 21/04/2019 18:44

At my local uni it's still term time and the students stay to revise so you're very unreasonable

The whole thing sounds a bit sad and joyless tbh , forcing them to come home etc

There is no footie all summer though so the kids can see their dad then

bigchris · 21/04/2019 18:45

And they didn't go out with mates you made your sister take them out Shock

Dermymc · 21/04/2019 18:45

WTF why are you telling your kids they have to be home and then neither of you can be arsed to be there yourselves?!

TwitterQueen1 · 21/04/2019 18:47

No, he wasn't selfish. It's his Easter too and he's entitled to enjoy it - even more so as you weren't there.

And why did the DCs HAVE to be home for Easter? Surely they were at home before Easter day? No-one travels on Easter Day! So I'm pretty sure they must have spent time with him beforehand?

You're dumping on him.

CakeNinja · 21/04/2019 18:48

Forcing them to come home in the first place was U.
They aren’t babies or small children, they don’t need entertaining. They were possibly a bit pissed off that they had been summoned home and that nothing was even going on. I wouldn’t blame them if they were, they possibly had other things and plans they could have made.
I hope I don’t suddenly get all demanding over my adult dcs time when they grow up. I’d like to think they would come home of their own accord to spend time with us and the wider family but demanding they come home to do so would be awkward.

dementedma · 21/04/2019 18:49

DH and DS went to the footy today instead of being here for family Easter. I had a peaceful day (other than neighbours loud music tonight) and two very happy Evertonians are heading back up to Scotland right now. Not worth fighting over

iklboo · 21/04/2019 18:50

You have three adult children and their aunt had to 'take pity on them' to take them out to lunch? Why couldn't they sort themselves out?

Mrskeats · 21/04/2019 18:51

Why did you tell university kids they ‘had’ to be home? That’s ridiculous. I bet they are not happy.

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