Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Was DH selfish to go to the football on Easter Sunday?

98 replies

usernamelife · 21/04/2019 18:11

So we told our three dc who are at university that they had to be home for Easter. We usually go for a walk, have a nice brekkie, see family and a nice dinner.

Sadly I had last minute work commitments which meant that I arrived back today at 4pm from New Zealand (bloody knackered).

DH decided there was a football match he HAD to go and see that would take up all day including travel/beers/pub etc. This means we cannot do our usual.

This has left our 3 children who came home specifically for Easter at home on their own until my sister took pity on them and took them out for lunch with her family.

Why can't DH see it's incredibly selfish to go to a football match on Easter Sunday, especially on a day when he knew I wouldn't be able to be there for family time.

(Oh and the house is shit tip even though DC have been cleaning for him)

OP posts:
Redshoeblueshoe · 21/04/2019 18:51

I agree with Tinker Grin

Gruzinkerbell1 · 21/04/2019 18:52

I think it’s really weird that you demanded that they had to come home for Easter in the first place. I wouldn’t be bowing to those demands again if I were your (adult) child. What a waste of time and money!

And yes, your DH was being (only slightly more than you) unreasonable.

ilovesooty · 21/04/2019 18:57

You were unreasonable to summon adults home.

Whether your husband was unreasonable depends on a number of factors including which football match he attended.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Events & celebrations
ExpletiveDelighted · 21/04/2019 18:58

Surely it makes more sense to just eait for tomorrow and do the family brekkie, walk etc then when you are all home.

What do your DCs think? Were they put out or happy just to chill at home, catch up with one another, go for lunch with their aunt? If they weren't bothered then it was fine for him to go. If my team had been playing today I'd have jumped at a chance to go, its the most exciting part of the season for a lot of teams.

TessaL23 · 21/04/2019 18:58

What a waste of their wknd!

NoBaggyPants · 21/04/2019 19:01

Are you always so controlling?

Butterymuffin · 21/04/2019 19:05

So your grown up children were expected to jump to it and obey, while you and your husband get to ditch them for other commitments? That's the last time they'll come home when ordered to, I expect. You've both been thoughtless, and yes, I have read your work explanation.

Expressedways · 21/04/2019 19:08

So many things about this don’t make any sense to me. Namely that you told your kids they HAD to be home, then you went on a work trip but they still had to come anyway, then your sister had to take pity on 3 adults because they couldn’t sort their own lunch or entertain themselves. Sorry but your DH going to the football really is the only normal part of any of it.

Nnnnnineteen · 21/04/2019 19:10

Can you imagine the reverse???
Our mother has been banging on for weeks that we HAVE to come home, so me and my siblings cancel hanging out at uni to go home. Mother 'had to ' work, didn't bother telling us in time, got home knackered and in a foul mood. House is a shit tip, had to go to our aunts for lunch as no food in the house. Dad went to a football match and mum is kicking off at him. Wont fucking bother next year!!!

IsabelleSE19 · 21/04/2019 19:11

If he went to watch Arsenal he's been punished enough already Grin

FiremanKing · 21/04/2019 19:12

What is it about Easter Sunday that held more significance than any other Sunday?

Are you religious? What were you going to do to celebrate Easter and if it meant that much to you why didn’t you tell work that you couldn’t go in?

YouBumder · 21/04/2019 19:12

You were BU giving your adult children a 3 line whip to be home for Easter. I appreciate you were away for work but if it had been that important they were all home could you not have just taken annual leave. Your husband is no worse than you really.

Anothertempusername · 21/04/2019 19:12

Agree with PP's; you weren't there either. Whether you had to not be or chose to not be is neither here nor there.

LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 21/04/2019 19:13

Hard to say. Are you as controlling of your dh as you are of your children?

Sakura7 · 21/04/2019 19:14

You sound controlling OP. What gives you the right to order your adult children around? Also you can't complain about DH not being there when you weren't either.

VimFuego101 · 21/04/2019 19:14

When you found out about your work commitments, did you let them know about the change of plan in case they wanted to arrive later, given you weren't going to be there? Maybe suggest some other things they could do (family they could visit, book a table for them to go to the pub for lunch)? I'm sure they wanted to enjoy the bank holiday weekend too and it seems they were just stuck at yours waiting for you.

junebirthdaygirl · 21/04/2019 19:15

My 3 adults in their 20s would love the house to themselves for a day as long as there was food in the fridge.
And l have no say in whether they come home or not. They know their welcome if we are around and it's up to them.
Last thing your kids need now is a row a out football. Sit back and have a nice relaxing evening.

livefornaps · 21/04/2019 19:15

Pay them the cost of their tickets back to them - what an absolute fucking waste of time and effort for them when money is short and they probably have better things to do.

Let them choose to get together or not you sound really overbearing.

Sirzy · 21/04/2019 19:17

After 18+ years of forced family Easter’s I don’t blame him for taking a chance to do something he enjoys.

ShirleyPhallus · 21/04/2019 19:20

How weird to tell them to come home for Easter Confused

archivearmadillo · 21/04/2019 19:21

Do you rule your adult children with an iron hand, under threat of withdrawal of funding for university, or what?

Yabu to tell university students they have to be home for Easter.

You must have known that you might have to work away.

Your husband was unreasonable too if he 2as party to issuing the royal parental command to return to the parental home for "family time"

Hopefully this will have the silver lining of promoting your adult off spring to cut the apron strings and say no.

It sounds as though you think you're the queen.

Ginger1982 · 21/04/2019 19:21

YWBU to dictate your DCs come home for Easter. I'd be pissed off with both of you tbh.

EnidButton · 21/04/2019 19:26

I think you were wrong to tell your dc they 'had' to be home. They might've wanted to do their own thing now. Your DH clearly does.

EnidButton · 21/04/2019 19:27

How far away are their universities?

gt84 · 21/04/2019 19:29

You told them they HAD to be home for what? Or you invited them for something specific like family dinner, dishing out Easter eggs, celebrating Jesus’ resurrection as Christians? Which you then weren’t there for?! Should have cancelled/postponed as soon as you found out you had to work tbh. Do the kids even mind that their dad went out to football or is it just you that it’s annoyed?