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Original poster

Was DH selfish to go to the football on Easter Sunday?

98 replies

usernamelife · 21/04/2019 18:11

So we told our three dc who are at university that they had to be home for Easter. We usually go for a walk, have a nice brekkie, see family and a nice dinner.

Sadly I had last minute work commitments which meant that I arrived back today at 4pm from New Zealand (bloody knackered).

DH decided there was a football match he HAD to go and see that would take up all day including travel/beers/pub etc. This means we cannot do our usual.

This has left our 3 children who came home specifically for Easter at home on their own until my sister took pity on them and took them out for lunch with her family.

Why can't DH see it's incredibly selfish to go to a football match on Easter Sunday, especially on a day when he knew I wouldn't be able to be there for family time.

(Oh and the house is shit tip even though DC have been cleaning for him)

OP posts:
screamifyouwant · 21/04/2019 19:30

Totally unreasonable to tell your children they had to be home then you wasn't .
Unless your religious what's the big deal about today ?
Sorry hun but double standards

NotACleverName · 21/04/2019 19:38

If I got told, as an adult, that I had to come home for Easter my response would be... less than polite.

cushioncovers · 21/04/2019 19:42

Why did they have to all come home?

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Events & celebrations
adaline · 21/04/2019 19:47

Why are you placing demands like that on your adult children?

safariboot · 21/04/2019 20:03

Why should your DH have his Easter plans blocked because your employer is disorganised?

Sakura7 · 21/04/2019 20:16

Also seems highly unreasonable of an employer to expect an employee to travel to New Zealand at very short notice and for just a few days. I think you would have been well within your rights to refuse to go.

FinallyHere · 21/04/2019 20:52

Why did you tell your children they 'had' to be home

I'm guessing they won't ever take this seriously, ever again. Which seems fair enough.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 21/04/2019 20:55

You TOLD your university age kids to come home for Easter Shock then you told your DH not to go to the football and he disobeyed you...

Do you regularly tell adults what to do?

Tigger001 · 21/04/2019 21:04

I think he was selfish and sending a very clear message that he likes football more than them.*
I'm assuming this was a joke.

I honestly can't imagine telling adult children that they must come home for Easter. I fear they will not be eager to visit if this is your attitude to them.

So your DH got last minute tickets to the match and went, I don't think it's for you to be angry. How do your kids feel about it, are they really any more bothered about it than you not being there either ?

Mrskeats · 21/04/2019 22:09

Where is the op?

fr33d0m · 21/04/2019 22:15

YABU and so is he. It’s nice they all made the effort even if you two didn’t

Runkle · 21/04/2019 22:17

You lost me at telling your adult children they HAD to be home for Easter.

Runkle · 21/04/2019 22:21

Also your adult children cleaned and couldn't entertain themselves whilst home alone?! On one of the few days of the year where nothing but pubs are open and chocolate is a staple food? I feel sorry for you all.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 21/04/2019 22:25

Given that you insisted they come home, you ought to have told work that no, you cannot travel over Easter. Since you weren't prepared to do that, I'd be very surprised if your kids made the effort next time you tell them to come home. It was rude of you to not be there.
I also think your h should have been home too. Poor kids.

ExpletiveDelighted · 21/04/2019 22:25

Where is the op? - probably jetlagged. NZ and back in under a week is quite a trip.

BackforGood · 21/04/2019 22:37

Y wBU - as so many others have said - to "tell" your adult dc they "had to" be home for Easter, which is a day when your dh had another commitment.
Surely, if you want to all get together (which I can understand) you get your diaries out and find a date that works for everyone.

YABVU to try to garner sympathy when you weren't there, and when you had insisted your dc came home for a day when your dh wasn't available.

safariboot · 21/04/2019 22:39

Also seems highly unreasonable of an employer to expect an employee to travel to New Zealand at very short notice and for just a few days

For what it's worth, OP hasn't stated, it's possible they were already in NZ and the job expected them to stay a week longer than planned or something.

That said, there are many roles where you can be expected to travel to anywhere in the world at very short notice.

TwitterQueen1 · 21/04/2019 22:47

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EnidButton · 21/04/2019 23:14

Wind em up and watch em go or not the reaction the op wanted/expected?

Not worth the effort either way. Annoying.

BathshebaKnickerStickers · 21/04/2019 23:21

It’s Easter...

Whilst nice it’s not really a “big thing”.

My undergrad university didn’t acknowledge Easter. We had a Monday off 7 weeks into the semester. As Easter moves it was very rarely on Easter weekend.

I currently work in education- our schools went BACK last Monday after 2 weeks off - nowhere near Easter. We had Friday off but i’m at work tomorrow.

Gilead · 22/04/2019 01:38

My adult dc are invited home for Easter.

Blackandpurple · 22/04/2019 07:10

They are not 5 yr olds who need looking after.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 22/04/2019 07:21

Everything I would say has already been said - are you coming back to give a little more detail on the summoning home of your adult children so that they can spend Easter Sunday with neither of their parents?!

If you were the one who told them they had to be home, then you are the one who has let them down by not being there yourself, not your DH. If he was part of the summoning, then he is BU too.

Curiousmum69 · 22/04/2019 07:24

Going to work after ordering your children home Is more unreasonable Tbh.

gerispringer · 22/04/2019 07:28

Why can’t you do something on Easter Monday ( today?). I think you are more cross about the house being a tip than the thought your grown up children couldn’t cope for a day on their own.