Need to pull myself together for the children

[Simonfromharlow]

My husband left me 10 days ago. I feel so down. I'm being a shit mum to my kids as I can't pull myself together. This is so hard. I don't know how to cope.

Small steps to feel good about you, the mug made me laugh!

What else have you missed whilst you have been with him. Mine was choosing my own hairdresser ( tiny and bizarre, I know!) but before I met him I went to a fairly top salon ( for my town anyway) and my hair appointments were always a real treat. Once married my then husband insisted we had a hairdresser he knew who came to the house. It felt great to be back to 'my' hairdresser, not just for the fab treat but because I could make my own choice.

I hope for you that this is just the start of many 'smashed mugs'.

I grew up in a Chelsea supporting house and sort of lost interest when I met him as he was massively West Ham so it took over. My dad said when I have one of my weekend where ex takes the kids he will take me to a Chelsea match.

Mine was not having to have the constant hum of Sky sports in the background.

I got rid of ‘his’ sofa. Too many times I stared with brooding resentment at the back of his head while he sat on his arse with his finger up his nose, whilst I did everything.

I’m so please you have your parents supporting you Simon.

My family and friends have been fantastic. I couldn't do this without them.

I also won't miss sky fucking sports.

Hey Simon hope all is going smoothly. Keep up the good work. You are doing Amazing

I feel like I've got my house back after sharing with a stranger for 2 weeks!

How are you feeling today SimonfromHarlow?

I'm feeling a little better today. I was a bit tearful when I woke up but that seems to subside through the day. Also my 2 year old kept me awake all night thinking there was spiders everywhere so that hasn't helped.

Thanks for thinking of me

Takes a while to adjust to your new norm.

One day at a time

These threads always make me feel sad. I am angry on behalf of all of us who’ve been treated badly and I feel your pain op.

However I’m always excited to see the transformation that comes in time as the smoke clears for the women involved.

You will rise like a phoenix from the ashes and your life will be so much better.

You’ll look back and shake your head at how much crap you tolerated.

You are so right Beer.

I've just read this whole thread and you're doing bloody great!

The shops are full of half price Easter eggs, I think you should load up a basket and treat yourself and the kids. Carpet picnic! My kids love that.

Here's to your sparkly clean house and your future

Thanks so much again everyone. I was just prompted to read the thread back and I'm definitely not in the place I was in when I started it! That alone makes me glad I started it, not to mention the amazing support I have had from everyone who has posted on it. I am starting to have more good days than bad. I'm staring to see that it might just not be all doom and gloom after all. I'm starting to feel a bit more angry about things now.

I mean I'm laying on the sofa having a lovely cuddle with my 2 year old and thinking what a fucking prick he is to choose to be missing out on lovely moments like this. His loss is my gain because one day the children will see how strong I was and how weak and pathetic their father was.

I printed my thread off and kept it. I can probably get rid of it now - 4.5 years on

It’s odd, but I don’t really remember being married. We were together 10 years and had a large family. I only remember that time in terms of me and the children. Probably because he was never truly with us.

Now, my children are secure and growing into young adults. They don’t see their dad an awful lot - depends on which child, he has his favourite. I have spent a lot of energy compensating for his crapness and as a result we are very close. I took them all to NYC on my own last year. I’m so proud of myself - I felt it was such an achievement. But DS2 telling his mates mum that he thought I was awesome and he was really impressed (she texted me and told me 😄) made me realise how far I’ve come and what a fucking good job I’m doing.

So take it from me: you’ve got this. You’ll have your moments of course but us women are fucking amazing. It’s all possible.

@Beerincomechampagnetastes, your post made me cry! So true.

@Beerincomechampagnetastes I'm going to print this out and put it up in my bedroom mirror.

@Cheekyfeckery you sound amazing!!!

Thanks - but I’m not, no more than Beer and all the other amazing women on this thread (and website) who have picked themselves up, scooped up their children and marched on with their lives.

That’s how we know you’ll be ok. X

I've had this really horrible bleak feeling come
Over me this afternoon. I'm struggling to find a job and starting to worry a bit.

Just a handhold while you’re having a low moment.

You will be ok, feeling the lows is normal and helping you to process what has happened so that you can move onwards and upwards. Leave that stupid waster for dust!

I hate how one day you feel so good and you think yes I've got this!! Then the next day you feel like jumping off a cliff (not literally) I've decided not to contact him unless I really really have to re the kids so missing that daily interaction you have when in a relationship.

Have you only been looking for a job due to your H leaving? If so it's been no tome at all, give yourself a chance!