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Need to pull myself together for the children

676 replies

Simonfromharlow · 20/04/2019 13:55

My husband left me 10 days ago. I feel so down. I'm being a shit mum to my kids as I can't pull myself together. This is so hard. I don't know how to cope.

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Paddy1234 · 27/05/2019 12:31

'New date' my arse
However unfortunately men are so different from women and seem not to have the capacity to be single.
Just ignore it and ride it out ❤️

Simonfromharlow · 27/05/2019 12:57

I think I've taken a bit of a step back. Feeling down a lot again. To be expected I know. I find feeling my feelings very very hard.

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Paddy1234 · 27/05/2019 18:31

Of course you have but its not really a step back. More of the reality of the situation coming to thump you squarely in the chest area. But you do recognise it - you can't do anything but accept it.
Personally I always recommend going out, doing 20 shots and passing out 😂 but not really the best option when you are the main carer now!
Please believe me it does get better ❤️

Simonfromharlow · 27/05/2019 19:12

I do believe you!! Just got to get there! Going to stay with my friend next weekend while the kids are away. Think we will enjoy some wine!

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Simonfromharlow · 27/05/2019 19:12

I start my new job next week! Looking forward to that!

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dellacucina · 27/05/2019 20:51

Best wishes!! It's an exciting change and a new challenge will probably help you to feel more empowered.

Simonfromharlow · 27/05/2019 21:55

🤞🏻

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Paddy1234 · 28/05/2019 14:08

What day do you start your new job? Hopefully just getting out, meeting new people and generally just getting tired so you can sleep better will be good for your soul.

Simonfromharlow · 28/05/2019 17:12

Yes I'm hoping that will be the case! Will be starting on the 4th!

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Simonfromharlow · 28/05/2019 22:19

I really need to find something to fill the evenings! Sooo boring

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Paddy1234 · 28/05/2019 23:01

I feel your pain but remember evenings can often be boring even with a detached partner in the house.
Binge on some Netflix box sets!
Update us with everything on the job!

Simonfromharlow · 28/05/2019 23:20

Yes I will do!

I'm def getting my moneys worth on Netflix.

You're right, my partner would sit on his phone until 9pm when he would go to bed! It's a different kind of lonely though isn't it. Like just the presence of someone else is nice! I'll get used to it though I guess!

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Simonfromharlow · 30/05/2019 15:31

I won £50 on a scratch card today! Maybe that is the universe telling me things are looking up! Haha

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Simonfromharlow · 31/05/2019 17:16

Urghhhhhh I keep reading into everything he says and does. Why why why aaaaaarrrggghhhhh

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PonderingPanda · 31/05/2019 18:13

My XH left two years ago. I found out about the OW day before our wedding anniversary. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

He also wanted the house on the market within 2 weeks and we didn't need solicitor's..... he REALLY thought l was stupid.

Cut along story short .... l now own the house and he is in rented.

Simonfromharlow · 31/05/2019 22:23

Hahaha love it!!

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EffYouSeeKaye · 31/05/2019 22:39

Cut along story short .... l now own the house and he is in rented

I bet the long story is amazing though 😂 I do love the 12 inch tale of a twat...

Paddy1234 · 31/05/2019 23:59

Simon - is it tomorrow you start your new job? If so good luck and be sure to update us ❤️❤️❤️

PonderingPanda · 01/06/2019 07:07

@EffYouSeeKaye....Grin it started with him trying to force me to sign the most one sided separation agreement which consisted of the house being on the market within 2 weeks and being split 50/50, each keeping our own pension and savings....

Oh how l laughed and toodled off to a SHL... who was very professional and said it would never be agreed by the Judge....

He was absolutely FURIOUS when he realised l wasn't going to sign it AND had seen a solicitor after he said l didn't have too.

Thanks to Mumset l was one step ahead the whole time with what l expected behaviour wise, solicitor's etc.

Will never forget his face when after asking if we were going to try and sort it out and he refused, l said l do believe EOW and half of all school holidays are now yours. Really think he thought l was going to continue doing it all ..... silly delusional twat.

He was MOST upset when he realised that Form E had to be completed and the usual script of being a vindictive bitch and bleeding him dry was uttered..... probably because he didn't want me to find out that his pension was worth 6 times mine ...and his earning capacity as FT high paid job compared to my PT job really didn't compare.

Loads was said but l played MN Bingo and it helped keep my spirits up. I also found l was "living" again as l actually had time to myself EOW.

Simonfromharlow · 01/06/2019 07:23

No I don't start until Tuesday! My last free weekend haha.

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Simonfromharlow · 01/06/2019 07:24

@PonderingPanda I bet he was livid! Haha

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PonderingPanda · 01/06/2019 07:35

@Simonfromharlow - who will have the DC when it's your weekend to have them?

Soontobe60 · 01/06/2019 07:36

Just found this thread and read with interest. Breaking up is brutal, no doubt about it! I see that your emotions have been up and down, and that's only to be expected. Have you seen your GP? You may benefit from a short term course of anti depressants to see you through the worst days, I know I benefitted from them when it happened to me. I was able to sleep better, which in turn meant I could function better through the day.
Good luck with your new job, it's so exciting to be with new people as you don't have to face the concerned looks and can put a fake smile on!

Simonfromharlow · 01/06/2019 07:37

@PonderingPanda my parents! It's only 10-5 on a Sunday.

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Simonfromharlow · 01/06/2019 07:38

@Soontobe60 thank you! I've thought about the gp once or twice yes. I think I'm going to see how I go!

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