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Original poster

Housewarming gift price range?

835 replies

NoCanoe · 13/04/2019 17:10

I originally offered to buy a gift once my friends were settled and knew what they wanted. There had been talk of wanting to replace dinner plates, bed linen , towels etc.

They now have said they will forgo the non essential items in favour of something more practical.

That's fine. But because I never stipulated a budget at the time when it was a general idea, Im now being presented with an invoice far greater than anticipated.

Im just wondering if Im out of touch with price range these days, or am I being taken advantage of?

Id like some idea of what you'd consider normal price range before I say how much I am actually being asked for.

I do feel I have no option but to honour the commitment. But I'm a bit miffed.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
MummytoCSJH · 13/04/2019 23:57

Please please don't pay. This is disgusting behaviour from your 'friends', they are completely using you :(

NWQM · 13/04/2019 23:59

I would really be thinking of cutting contact now & not giving anything as a gift.

NaturatintGoldenChestnut · 14/04/2019 00:00

You really cannot be apologetic or engage with people like this, as Palaminoo says, of make offers, or any of this. I reckon they have always been takers and if you re-examine things there will be a pattern of this type of behaviour, hence why you haven't answered questions of gifts they have given you or hosting they have done.

They are preying upon you.

This really fucks me off that people do this to decent people like you.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Events & celebrations General shopping
DeRigueurMortis · 14/04/2019 00:03

"Dear CF,

Thank you for sending me the details of your beautiful new curtains. They are lovely and I'm sure you'll enjoy them for years to come.

As you haven't come back to me with a suitable housewarming gift I've arranged to send a lovely hamper or insert other gift to your new address.

Love,

OP"

Gitfeatures · 14/04/2019 00:07

This isn't a gift, it's extortion. I would respond 'I assumed you were joking, but sadly it appears not. I am frankly apppalled that you would abuse my offer of gift in such a blatant manner. I will not be funding your £550 curtains, kindly have a word with yourself.'

Original poster
NoCanoe · 14/04/2019 00:07

GoldenChestnut - I'm guessing thats why I'm feeling so wounded.

Yes, Ive transferred money before. More than I could afford but fell for the story and wanted to help.

I realized later that it was used for something completely different. But that was a few years ago, and id forgotten it. Till now.

OP posts:
DeRigueurMortis · 14/04/2019 00:08

You do realise there is a reason why they are better off" than you....

Palominoo · 14/04/2019 00:09

They’ve gone out and bought curtains and billed you for them expecting you to pay without asking what your budget for a gift is.

They’ve sent you the invoice.

Theyve sent a reminder .

Then chased up the reminder asking you to pay tomorrow .

They are not the Mafia but their tactics are the same as petty extortionists.

Send them a link to this thread might be easier than thinking what you could say to them. It will then all be over and you will be free of them.

Original poster
NoCanoe · 14/04/2019 00:10

Im such a fucking numpty.

OP posts:
NaturatintGoldenChestnut · 14/04/2019 00:10

Yeah, I had a feeling this wasn't the first time. They're con artists. Bullshit they bought curtains. The only way forward is to cut contact with them. You don't even have to respond, you can simply block. They don't even live here. Or PM with any of us and we can respond on your behalf. Or use one of the suggestions here. NO offers of money, no money at all. You never agreed to it, they are bullying, extorting twats who deserve a train wreck, tbh. They are hounding you. They need gone. Tell someone in real life, too. Show them the messages. They will be fucking raging.

Gitfeatures · 14/04/2019 00:13

Im such a fucking numpty.

You will be if you pay it.

Palominoo · 14/04/2019 00:15

Just seen your post saying they’ve previously conned you.

You are being manipulated, used and disrespected.

Remember Stuart Little films?

They are the Falcon and you are the canary doing their bidding.

Palominoo · 14/04/2019 00:19

If you pay anything they know they’ve got you and come Christmas you’ll be expected to pay for something else.

Probably a conservatory or a swimming pool.

Freeing yourself from the spiders web is simple.

You block their phone number. You block their email. You block them on social media. We can all help you do this.

They cannot force you to do anything.

Original poster
NoCanoe · 14/04/2019 00:20

Never thought I'd have a CF story of my own!

Shows you how naive I've been. 😳

OP posts:
Palominoo · 14/04/2019 00:21

You are not a numpty.

They have bamboozled you.

They have manipulated you.

They have taken advantage of your kind nature.

Palominoo · 14/04/2019 00:22

You can find the inner strength not to give in to them.

You can do it. We are all behind you.

Londongirl888 · 14/04/2019 00:23

OP. Set a realistic amount you are happy to pay and you think you can move past this unkind demand Say £50 and send it with a nice message here is my contribution to towards the curtains. I think they are relying on you being embarrassed and will pay. IF they respond requesting more. Nice tinkly laugh of oh my goodness I think there is a misunderstanding that is out of your budget and unrealistic to request that but am delighted to support you with said amount. If they are difficult I would BLOCK contact. How unpleasant of them that is totally unreasonable. DO NOT ENGAGE. This is emotional blackmail. 

Original poster
NoCanoe · 14/04/2019 00:25

Believe it or not, I'm usually quick to spot users.

Not this time.

Its been a slap in the face with a day old kipper.

OP posts:
Original poster
NoCanoe · 14/04/2019 00:27

Im re evaluating everything - and its not pretty.

OP posts:
Erksum · 14/04/2019 00:28

OP, are you sure you aren't being set up. It sounds so ridiculous that I can't believe they are genuinely asking for this money. Are you sure your friends aren't just trolling you? You do sound unusually soft. The fact you are doubting yourself and dragging this out so long shows that you would be a perfect target if someone wanted to play a joke on someone.

AlpacaPicnicc · 14/04/2019 00:31

I find this really hard to believe. Nobody is dim enough to pay this surely? Oh and you'd forgotten they've done it before?!!

Mind boggles if it's real

Original poster
NoCanoe · 14/04/2019 00:34

Erksum - I would love to believe that.

But, no. Its not a joke.

And I apologise if ive dragged it out on here. I'm just struggling with it. But the replies have been so helpful.

I know I need to deal with it tomorrow.

OP posts:
Fr3d · 14/04/2019 00:34

They are complete CF's. No way would I expect a "gift" like that from ANY of my friends. The only gifts we got comparable (wedding) was from our parents/grandparents. I would be mortified if my friends spent that on me and left themselves short. You can buy ready made curtains, you know! And then to hound you!

I'm in shock. Just trying to emphasise that this isn't normal.

NaturatintGoldenChestnut · 14/04/2019 00:37

What Paliminoo said. 100%! It's the only way.

NaturatintGoldenChestnut · 14/04/2019 00:39

And you do not need to 'deal with it' or them at all. You just block. They don't exist to you anymore. And please tell someone in real life, show them the messages. Do NOT engage with this pair of conning dickheads.