Housewarming gift price range?

[NoCanoe]

I originally offered to buy a gift once my friends were settled and knew what they wanted. There had been talk of wanting to replace dinner plates, bed linen , towels etc.

They now have said they will forgo the non essential items in favour of something more practical.

That's fine. But because I never stipulated a budget at the time when it was a general idea, Im now being presented with an invoice far greater than anticipated.

Im just wondering if Im out of touch with price range these days, or am I being taken advantage of?

Id like some idea of what you'd consider normal price range before I say how much I am actually being asked for.

I do feel I have no option but to honour the commitment. But I'm a bit miffed.

Really rude, just like a business transaction.

Ive never had a housewarming gift either!

Ive usually provided a couple bottles of wine.

But this has completely flummoxed me.

Return invoice to sender with this book.

www.amazon.co.uk/Debretts-Guide-Etiquette-Modern-Manners/dp/074727715X/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?hvlocphy=9045406&hvnetw=g&keywords=debrett%27s+guide+to+etiquette&hvadid=259111405821&qid=1555174819&s=books&hvpos=1o1&hvdev=m&hvqmt=b&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&hvtargid=kwd-315328447635&adgrpid=51873621063&hvrand=1053523242186337129&sr=1-1

How much op and what was it?!

Bottle wine seems fairly standard with my friends. It's a token gift unless close family.

@palominoo 😂😂😂😂

£50 max and that's for a family member or a close friend. I'm intrigued to know what they've chosen!

Deposit paid? Crikey. C'mon, what are we talking here? I would have guessed £20-30 max for a house warming gift. However in their defence some other countries do have very different gift norms to ours, eg in the USA they seem to spend a lot on wedding gifts. I still can't help but think they have been uber-rude and presumptuous to assume a blank cheque.

With hindsight you should have set them right when they started talking about dinner plates. I think you need to react quickly. Maybe £50 in relevant store's gift vouchers and a note saying this is a bit awkward, I was thinking more sort of thing but happy to push it for you guys.

Why does anyone need an actual gift of a thing when moving house if they are an established couple who have everything already?

A best wishes in your new home card is more than enough.

It’s different if they were a young couple starting off and don’t have anything then I can understand family and friends might want to help them out. The usual practice years ago, even for the wealthy was to offer something secondhand or something you had as a spare.

All this ridiculousness of wanting other people to buy you stuff has only come about in the last few decades.

I never even thought in 'dinner sevice' range. It was just 4 matching unchipped dinner plates!

That's how casual and low key the original conversation was.

If I'm going around to see someone's new house I will normally take a present but something like a plant etc about £15-20 at most. We bought an Alexa for DSIL but it was a treat as we new they really wanted one and I think it was a Black Friday deal.

You must tell us how much they have asked you for I can't rest now 😂

I do feel I have no option but to honour the commitment.
But you DO have a choice! And you didn't actually commit.

If you feel unable to say plainly - no way, that's not what I said and that's really rude, could you just laugh?
Literally email back a laughing face emoji or just write 'you're so funny' or similar.

Then give the houseplant /candle/bottle of wine.

£30 sounds about right. £50 at a push. Them paying a deposit sounds ominous. How much have they asked for?

They've asked you to cough up 'asap'?

Cheeky buggers!

I was thinking about £20 but perhaps up to £50 if it's for close friends?

I can only blame myself for getting into this muddle.

I wasnt clear in terms of budget. Tbh, I didnt think I needed to be! I expected a certain level of common sense or good manners would prevail.

Depends on the friendship. A close friend of mine recently moved and I spent 70 odd pounds on a garden statue. For less close friends I'd get something of lower value. So in the twenty to thirty pounds bracket.

However I think they should have checked with you before buying and confirmed you were ok with it,

Is the item in question something understated like Joey's ceramic dog?

It was such a casual conversation.

Then I was asked if it was ok to not wait until they were settled in, they could do with more essential items.

Again, very general. I said, no problem. Its your choice.

Housewarming gifts we received were:

From friends:
Houseplant
£40 bbq
£50 piece of art
£20 candle

From family:
Instant pot £100
Salt and pepper shakers

Krimpy....🤣

@NoCanoe What have you brought and how much - everyone wants to know!!!!

You go to TKMaxx an hour before the party and buy a candle or a bottle of olive oil, don't you? And a bottle of plonk!