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Original poster

Housewarming gift price range?

835 replies

NoCanoe · 13/04/2019 17:10

I originally offered to buy a gift once my friends were settled and knew what they wanted. There had been talk of wanting to replace dinner plates, bed linen , towels etc.

They now have said they will forgo the non essential items in favour of something more practical.

That's fine. But because I never stipulated a budget at the time when it was a general idea, Im now being presented with an invoice far greater than anticipated.

Im just wondering if Im out of touch with price range these days, or am I being taken advantage of?

Id like some idea of what you'd consider normal price range before I say how much I am actually being asked for.

I do feel I have no option but to honour the commitment. But I'm a bit miffed.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
AllTheCakes · 13/04/2019 21:08

Whether you pay it or not, your friendship will be over after this...

Coffeeonthesofa · 13/04/2019 21:08

Look the friendship is ruined now anyway, even if you were crazy enough to send them £550. So send them what you feel comfortable with, and keep the rest of your money.
£550 is the sort of money his gran spent helping our DS in setting up his first flat (he was on a low income) cooker and fridge freezer and kitchen bits and bobs - real essentials. We spent more, some on curtains bargain ones, because he is our DS and not some random CF.

SylvanianFrenemies · 13/04/2019 21:09

Just send them the planned £100. That's very generous. They can't possibly be expecting the full £550 - can they? Are you a lottery winning millionaire who keeps saying "money is no object"?!

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AwkwardSquad · 13/04/2019 21:11

No shouting here, NoCanoe. You must feel sick. You don’t have to do anything tonight, no matter how pushy your ‘friends’ get. Sleep on it.

NaturatintGoldenChestnut · 13/04/2019 21:18

I'd fucking block them and not send them a penny. I want to kick CFers who do this to vulnerable, decent people. The friendship is over, as you well know.

woodhill · 13/04/2019 21:19

Please don't OP.

I'd never spend this on anyone even my family - just ridiculous

Fruityfruitcake · 13/04/2019 21:19

Do you really want to be friends with people who treat you like this?!

QueenofCBA · 13/04/2019 21:20

£550 for curtains? Shock
“Sorry, guys, that’s a little over my budget! I hope you can still cancel the order.” Job done.

Farmerswifey12 · 13/04/2019 21:22

Apologies for shouting with the !! But I can't believe it.

It's more than I spent on my kid at Xmas

I think you need to message them and explain that there has clearly been some kind of mix up or confusion!

Whitney168 · 13/04/2019 21:23

It's not going to end well, no matter what I do.

Then for the love of God, don’t have it ending badly with you £550 poorer!

This is beyond cheeky. If you must, transfer the £100 (would be MUCH lower for me) and send a note saying ‘Contribution to curtain fund transferred, hope they’re lovely. xx’

They surely couldn’t have the brass neck to come back and ask for more, but if they do just tell them they can’t seriously have expected you to pay the whole lot - that would be absurd.

If you seriously think there’s an expectation that they want you to pay £550 and will take it badly if you don’t, I would start with the absurd bit now, because there can surely be no friendship after that?

Postmissposte · 13/04/2019 21:23

This is awful. What horrible people, they're not your friends. I can't fathom anyone behaving in this way. Would it help to talk to a real life friend or family member if you are feeling shouted at on here?

BackforGood · 13/04/2019 21:26

There is nothing for you to feel 'torn' about.

Use this, that Mummy2017 suggested

Can you please explain how a simple gift for your housewarming has become Brand new made to measure curtains?

and I might add, I was thinking of a £25 - £30 cost for something if you want to be really clear.

Whitney168 · 13/04/2019 21:27

OP, why not reply with something like ‘LOL, heart failure there, thought for a minute you expected me to pay the lot!🤣’ to test the water.

At least then if they come back and say ‘we do’ you can tell them they’re having a laugh without losing any money.

LokiCat · 13/04/2019 21:29

£550??! For them not to even mention what they were thinking of buying and just sending you an invoice is ridiculous! What CFs! I wouldn't consider them friends after that.

Please just send them some Monopoly money.

Palominoo · 13/04/2019 21:31

Yes we are all shouting because we are all sticking up for you. We don’t want you to feel upset at having to part with your money to a pair of grifters.

They are not genuine friends.

They are self absorbed and greedy.

The utter cheek of asking you to pay for your curtains and then when you don’t cough up immediately they chase you up!

That is downright nasty behaviour.

They are grotty little people with no manners and their revolting behaviour must not be rewarded.

They are preying on you.

Corneliusmurphy · 13/04/2019 21:33

£550 for curtains? And expecting a friend to pay that no less???
Nope, nope and no. Be honest, tell them that that is far more than your budget will stretch to.
I think there’s been a misunderstanding I can go no higher than £100.
I still think that’s a shed load for a house warming present even £50 is pushing it. Ultimately what will you miss more them or £500!??

MySecondBestBroomstick · 13/04/2019 21:34

Sorry OP, think of us cheering you on. We're shouting with you, not at you.

Palominoo · 13/04/2019 21:36

PM me for my phone number OP that you can send them, telling them that I am your agent/representative.

I’ll set them straight.

Angelinthenightx · 13/04/2019 21:36

We are on your side, we just dont want u to be used by these people.

Corneliusmurphy · 13/04/2019 21:37

Sorry I’m not cross with you, I’m cross on your behalf Flowers

Fortheloveofscience · 13/04/2019 21:38

There’s nothing you could possibly have said in a casual conversation that makes this justifiable. I’m not shouting at you OP I’m more worried about you, please don’t give them any more than the £100 you’d initially planned. So sorry that your “friends” have put you in this position Flowers.

Palominoo · 13/04/2019 21:38

Keep Your Distance and Keep Your Options Open

Not all adult bullies are worth tangling with. Your time is valuable, and your happiness and well-being are important. Unless there’s something critical at stake, don’t expend yourself by trying to grapple with a person who’s negatively entrenched. Whether you’re dealing with a road rage driver, a pushy salesperson, a hostile neighbor, an obnoxious relation, or a domineering supervisor, keep a healthy distance, and avoid engagement unless you absolutely have to.

Palominoo · 13/04/2019 21:40

You have the right to be treated with respect.

You have the right to express your feelings, opinions and wants.

You have the right to set your own priorities.

You have the right to say “no” without feeling guilty.

You have the right to get what you pay for.

You have the right to have opinions different than others.

You have the right to take care of and protect yourself from being threatened physically, mentally or emotionally.

You have the right to create your own happy and healthy life.

Neolara · 13/04/2019 21:43

Nooooooo. Don't do it! I am the biggest wimp ever about confronting people, but this is soooo outrageous that even I would have to say something. Their expectations are completely unreasonable.