Housewarming gift price range?

[NoCanoe]

I originally offered to buy a gift once my friends were settled and knew what they wanted. There had been talk of wanting to replace dinner plates, bed linen , towels etc.

They now have said they will forgo the non essential items in favour of something more practical.

That's fine. But because I never stipulated a budget at the time when it was a general idea, Im now being presented with an invoice far greater than anticipated.

Im just wondering if Im out of touch with price range these days, or am I being taken advantage of?

Id like some idea of what you'd consider normal price range before I say how much I am actually being asked for.

I do feel I have no option but to honour the commitment. But I'm a bit miffed.

It's difficult for you seeing as no figure was ever produced in the first instance. Go with what a pp has said earlier and gently say you were not expecting to contribute that kind of sum, you have £100 you can give towards the curtains.

Wish it was more etc and if they argue then it's their own fault for putting a deposit on something they expected someone else to pay for, without confirming with them first.

I've received a reminder that it needs paying sharpish .

I feel quite heart sick by it all.

It's not going to end well, no matter what I do.

Then why hand this pair of cunts a fucking penny? You don't even have to respond to them at all. You can block them without a word. FUCK THEM! How fucking dare they?

“Dear Chancers,

I’m disappointed that you took it upon yourselves to purchase an extravagant and costly gift without confirming with myself my budget.

I am unable to meet your eye wateringly high amount and find your demands for payment to be rude and ungracious and as such I will not be contributing to your luxury lifestyle.

I feel you have soured our friendship with your entitled behaviour and as such will no longer be in touch. “

Do not pay it FFS! I will think less of you if you do!!

Your £100 was already very very generous. You should have said something about budget, however they should have checked too so blame on both parts.

They are being beyond cheeky though! No way would I pay that. If someone had said to me what you have said to them I'd find something about £20 and ask for that.

Your need to go back to them and say something like. That is way more than what I was thinking more along the £100 mark so I'm happy to contribute £100.

If they have the cheek to say but we've ordered them and don't have the money then you need to say £550 is a huge amount of money and you should have checked with me first so I will not be paying that.

I will think less of you too, OP. I will take a sip of my wine and then tut at the screen.

Oh and most ppl that have got me gifts and vice versa have been bottle of wine, candle, ornament etc . Defo £20 max.

I wouldn't pay it if I was in your situation.

I'd send a message saying I was sorry there had been a misunderstanding and I was expecting to give no more than £100.

As you say the friendship is tarnished now so no matter really if they don't like this. Incredibly rude to assume you'd pick up a bill for £550.

From your OP: I do feel I have no option but to honour the commitment.

I think this is a misapprehension. There simply CAN'T be a commitment for you to pay a sum of this size when no figures were even mentioned. You have pages of posters confirming what you already knew, that £550 is completely unreasonable.

This is like if you walked into a fish and chip shop, ordered a cod and chips and they said "that'll be £100 please". You wouldn't just pay up because you'd ordered without checking the (completely unreasonable and insane) price.

For goodness sake don’t pay it! I would have said 50 for a gift for a decent friend and would have stretched to 100 thinking ‘that’s a bit cheeky’ if I had been asked for that amount. Over half a thousand for made to measure curtains is not a gift. For reference, as a pp had said, I have many wealthy friends and they wouldn’t dream of gifting that kind of amount for a house warming of a friend, it’s just not the done thing. They are taking the piss.

I would just explain that a custom made pair of curtains is beyond the usual parameters of a gift and not within kind of range you had been discussing. Sadly you are not in a financial position to extend your offer of a gift to such a significant household purchase. You can pay 100 contribution which is the limit of your budget. If they complain they are committed, they only have themselves to blame as they should have checked with you that you were willing to cover such a high sum. It’s bonkers.

Omg!

CF’s!

No OP who in their right mind orders something and expects someone else to foot the bill without making sure/discussing that this is an option. If you are feeling obligated I suggest you kick yourself in the rear and then look in the mirror and say I am NOT a mug!

No friendship imho is worth being taken for a mug with a bottomless pocket to fund others wants .. if they were in dire straits and needed money asap for food or medical emergency and you had that money I would say give it or loan it to them .. but for decoration Hell No! They can have a cheaper item within a budget .. or a set amount upfront to buy what they want ..

No way on earth would I ever send someone a receipt nor accept one and expect it to be paid buy someone else ..

Friendship be damned if they take offence! They should hide in shame for even thinking that this is acceptable behaviour .. #myownviews

Send this.
Can you please explain how a simple gift for your housewarming has become Brand new made to measure curtains?

Absolutely ridiculous. Best friend or sibling I'd spend 30 quid on everyone else would get a card/candle etc. Its totally reasonable to send a message saying 'sorry thats a but more than I was thinking but here's £100' or whatever. Dont do it!

I would just put £50 into their bank account and message them that you have made a contribution for their curtain fund. End of.

This cannot be real. The only way this could be real is if you are very very very well off, and it doesn't sound as if you are, using your squirreling away fund etc.

In what world are plates and bathrobes housewarming presents anyway?

From a casual convo, why would any person think £550 worth of something would be about right?! If this is real, You'd have to be equally insane as the friends to even consider paying them anything at all.

I feel duty bound to add to the chorus of DO NOT PAY THIS!!! £550 without discussion/agreement is beyond absurd. I'm a terrible people-pleaser but even I would find my backbone for that. You only need say that it's sadly far above the budget you'd had in mind, but here's a contribution.

Please don't pay them £550!!!!

No, please don't pay OP. Even if you were stinking rich this is CF of the highest order.

Pay the deposit if you feel you must or send £20 as a contribution.

If the friendship is lost over this then it's not a friendship worth keeping.

No one on this thread thinks you should pay.

DO NOT PAY THIS!!!

Ridiculous

Don’t pay

You won’t lose anything because you don’t need to be friends with them.

WHAT? I'm not sure if I'm seeing things or you have actually agreed to pay for their very expensive curtains? You are (sorry, not sorry) a fucking idiot if you send the money!

Cancel the cheque!

Fucking hell you are an absolute mug if you pay this!!

I think 100 for a close friend is more than adequate and on my level of thinking.

I repeat do not pay this!!

Fucking hell.

My brothers and I have only ever exchanged £20 when we've each moved house. I'd buy a front a cheapish house plant or bottle of wine. No WAY would I give £100, let alone £550!!!!!!

Do not pay and just tell them there's been a misunderstanding and you simply cannot afford it.

Cheeky fucking bastard!

You are all right.

Im still shocked at it all.

And, yes, I feel used.

I've not replied yet. I'm torn .

Don't all shout at me at once!