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Original poster

Housewarming gift price range?

835 replies

NoCanoe · 13/04/2019 17:10

I originally offered to buy a gift once my friends were settled and knew what they wanted. There had been talk of wanting to replace dinner plates, bed linen , towels etc.

They now have said they will forgo the non essential items in favour of something more practical.

That's fine. But because I never stipulated a budget at the time when it was a general idea, Im now being presented with an invoice far greater than anticipated.

Im just wondering if Im out of touch with price range these days, or am I being taken advantage of?

Id like some idea of what you'd consider normal price range before I say how much I am actually being asked for.

I do feel I have no option but to honour the commitment. But I'm a bit miffed.

OP posts:
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6
Overtheborder · 13/04/2019 19:33

Are you sure they don't just want a contribution to the curtains?

I couldn't afford £550 curtains for my own home, never mind anyone else's!!!

Op do not be a mug and pay this money.

Have they ever spent this amount on you????

BackforGood · 13/04/2019 19:34

Plese don't pay OP.
What is the point in you paying this ?
As you say, your friendship is tarnished by their actions anyway.
Do no throw money at these rude people.

BackOnceAgainWithABurnerEmail · 13/04/2019 19:40

No no no no no no no! Do not pay!

Say ‘ dearest cheeky bastard friends, we appear to have had crossed wires. We never discussed as budget but I generously set aside £100. I am slightly non-plussed that you’d order something so expensive without even mentioning it to me.

I realise this is very embarrassing for you, so I am still willing to contribute £100.

Best wishes, Ms not-a-mug’

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mummmy2017 · 13/04/2019 19:41

Send them how ever much you wanted to spend. .
Do not be a mug and pay
Tell them you do not have that kind of money, and your shocked they thought you had money to burn...

Drizzlehair · 13/04/2019 19:43

Also how rich are you? A good friend earns about £300k,plus her husband another £50k. She is geberous. She bought us brunch the other day, and gets my kids £30 presents regularly, not just for bday. A housewarming I reckon she's stretch to £80, poss £100 for something amazingly suitable if she wanted to go wild.

People just DO NOT spend £550 on a friend! Unless they are Beyoncé. They just don't.

I'm wealthyish (£150k income) and geberous and will happily spend £150 on a wedding gift, but over £500 is serious lunacy.

Sorry, I'm just overwhelmed by how mad this is

user1474894224 · 13/04/2019 19:44

Is this for real? Definitely do not pay. Just send them your contribution towards the curtains. X

CornforthWhite · 13/04/2019 19:47

DON'T DO IT. That's madness.
Are you MIL? If you are friends they are abusing you terribly.

NWQM · 13/04/2019 19:50

Honestly there is no way 99.9% of people would pay out £550 without being very clear that you were covering. Send them the £100 which covers the likely deposit if they decide to now pull out.

jay55 · 13/04/2019 19:55

That is far, far more than most would spend on a wedding gift.
It's more than people's entire Christmas budget. No way on earth are they being anything other than granny bastards who see you as a cash machine.

If the friendship is tarnished anyway why bother to pay?

Luaa · 13/04/2019 19:56

DO NOT PAY!!!!

That is crazy! Who expects someone to buy them £550 curtains?! The most I would spend on a house warming gift is £20. Normally I'd just get a bottle of wine.

If I wasnt visiting their house within a few month of them moving in, I wouldn't get them anything at all though.

Give them an amount towards it, absolutely no more than the £100 you had planned, ideally less. Do not let them take the money you have set aside for yourself. If they are upset and it's the end of the friendship, who cares? You've only lost a pair of users.

Angelinthenightx · 13/04/2019 20:00

£5- £20 and have to say when we moved we never got any gifts just cards.
Give them nothing they seem greedy & rude.

LesLavandes · 13/04/2019 20:02

Please don't pay this. She clearly doesn't value your friendship. Please please, send her a message and explain it is way too much money for you to spend.

Original poster
NoCanoe · 13/04/2019 20:03

Thanks everyone.

I thought I was off beam for a bit. Confused

I've received a reminder that it needs paying sharpish .

I feel quite heart sick by it all.

It's not going to end well, no matter what I do.

OP posts:
Angelinthenightx · 13/04/2019 20:04

Just finished reading wow £550 ,please do not pay this,ive never heard of anything like this,id rather have no friends than one like that, wow im still in shock.

Palominoo · 13/04/2019 20:04

If you are foolish enough to send the full amount please picture them laughing at you behind your back.

Every time one of them opens it closes the curtains they will have a smug satisfaction and chuckle with glee as they remember that they were paid for by their gullible chum.

The chum that they’ve since dropped and ignored since moving abroad, because that is likely to happen.

By all means be a mug but if you do pay then don’t expect much sympathy on here if you later get into financial hardship or complain that your friends have now dropped you and you don’t hear from them anymore.

You are better than this, you can be strong and hold your own with these two dirty rotten scoundrels.

Carpetburns · 13/04/2019 20:05

£25. I don't think it's something I've ever really done before. I remember buying a couple of bath sheets from John Lewis for BIL for about £50 but I think that's quite generous- wouldn't do the same for friends.

BackOnceAgainWithABurnerEmail · 13/04/2019 20:06

Since they’re chasing I would be very tempted to back out entirely. I have only suggested that you pay the £100 as you seemed to want to.

They are CF-ers!

OKBobble · 13/04/2019 20:07

Send what you were going to send and say here is my contribution to your curtains.

Palominoo · 13/04/2019 20:08

What is the worse that will happen?

They will stop talking to you. Brilliant!

They will harass you by phone or text or in social media? Block them.

They cannot do anything to you.

Take control of the situation and of your self esteem.

Imagine my telling you this story, you’d be agog and telling me not to pay.

You can do this and the fallout will not be as dramatic or as awful as you think it will be.

Every single one of us would not pay. What does that tell you?

AwkwardSquad · 13/04/2019 20:08

NoCanoe I sympathise, this is a really unpleasant situation. But they created it by their crass behaviour, not you. It’s okay to be a bit angry with them for that. And it’s okay to say to them that their behaviour is out of order.

Carpetburns · 13/04/2019 20:08

Just caught up on your more recent postsShockShockShock. Honestly, I can't believe they expect you to shell out £550 for curtains!! Thar really is quite something...

ladygracie · 13/04/2019 20:09

A reminder?? Fuck that. You MUST not pay this. Think of it this way - the friendship is ruined whatever happens so you can be £550 out with it ruined or £100 (or £0) out. I know which I’d prefer. Sorry you are in this position.

Palominoo · 13/04/2019 20:11

Shame they don’t live in the same country or you could go and stand outside their house, busking in an attempt to raise the funds.

woolduvet · 13/04/2019 20:13

I really would not be sending that money, no matter how good the friendship is/was. They've ruined it by being cheeky fuckers. Send them what you'd originally intended and send them a text to say great idea about new curtains, I'm sure they'll look great, I've sent my contribution. Send me a pic when they're up.

Be enthusiastic.

MeakTiger · 13/04/2019 20:14

If it’s not going to end well whatever you do, then don’t pay.

If you pay the friendship is tarnished and you are out £550

If you don’t pay the friendship is tarnished (but if they ditch you as a friend because of it, they never were friends) but at least you have the money with which to treat yourself.

Please don’t pay it, you are being taken for a fool.

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