Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Housewarming gift price range?

835 replies

NoCanoe · 13/04/2019 17:10

I originally offered to buy a gift once my friends were settled and knew what they wanted. There had been talk of wanting to replace dinner plates, bed linen , towels etc.

They now have said they will forgo the non essential items in favour of something more practical.

That's fine. But because I never stipulated a budget at the time when it was a general idea, Im now being presented with an invoice far greater than anticipated.

Im just wondering if Im out of touch with price range these days, or am I being taken advantage of?

Id like some idea of what you'd consider normal price range before I say how much I am actually being asked for.

I do feel I have no option but to honour the commitment. But I'm a bit miffed.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
NaturatintGoldenChestnut · 13/04/2019 19:06

Christ on a bike!

*I feel honour bound to see it through, especially as its been ordered.(

I obviously wasnt clear that I had a budget in mind. But as I've said, it was all very general when we were talking.

At no point was I asked what figure I had in mind, for example.

Stop being such a fucking mug! Honestly, you committed to nothing and they demand fucking £550 from you and you're just going to roll over and hand it over?

I need some vital medication, can you maybe pay for it. I'll send you an invoice.

They're being total cunts.

Find your backbone and message them back: I never committed to any direct purchase or budget (in truth didn't think there was a need for the later as surely a good friend would be sensible and not take the piss) and now you're telling me to cough up £550 for something you decided to order? Are you for real? NO, I will not be paying for that. You've got a helluva cheek demanding that out of me. Can't believe you think that acceptable.

Don't be such a wally.

Original poster
NoCanoe · 13/04/2019 19:08

Banhaha - no doubt at all.

Thank you everyone - I feel i can be justifiably upset and annoyed now. Grin

But, I will pay. But yes, friendship tarnished.

Im having to use my 'squirrel away' fund, which is a pain as it was meant for something I really wanted .

OP posts:
DramaAlpaca · 13/04/2019 19:08

£550?!! Shock

You must say 'no' to that, its outrageous!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Events & celebrations General shopping
MySecondBestBroomstick · 13/04/2019 19:08

No please don't just pay up. They are taking you for an absolute mug.

Original poster
NoCanoe · 13/04/2019 19:09

And , yes, I am a fucking wally!

OP posts:
Krimpy · 13/04/2019 19:09

OP, STEP AWAY FROM PAYPAL!

lanesra2 · 13/04/2019 19:10

Don't do it!!! If anything spend the money on a more deserving friend who needs it, would appreciate it and would never ask.

Original poster
NoCanoe · 13/04/2019 19:10

And a mug.

OP posts:
NaturatintGoldenChestnut · 13/04/2019 19:11

But, I will pay. But yes, friendship tarnished.

Im having to use my 'squirrel away' fund, which is a pain as it was meant for something I really wanted .

That's just ridiculous. They're not friends, they're users. But hey, they found a handy mark.

Honeyroar · 13/04/2019 19:11

You really MUST say you're sorry but that's way out of your budget, but here's £100 towards them. (And in my opinion £100 is too much to spend on a house warming gift).

MySecondBestBroomstick · 13/04/2019 19:11

If you do pay up it'll end up costing you the friendship anyway. Might as well stand up to them, it at least gives them the chance to move on from this with you still liking them and not feeling like they have shat all over you.

Palominoo · 13/04/2019 19:14

So not pay. It’s extortion.

Wealthy people can afford to buy their own things.

Poorer people are grateful for what anyone can afford/spare/give.

This is a form of bullying/coercion/extortion.

Please do not feel obliged to pay them anything!

What can they do to you? NOTHING.

If they tell anyone else the chances are that they will be laughed at.

Let it backfire on them.

Cease all contact immediately.

Friolero · 13/04/2019 19:14

Please DON'T pay this, it's utterly ridiculous. A housewarming gift should be a token plant or something small, not very expensive curtains!

chocatoo · 13/04/2019 19:16

I think you could quite legitimately give a contribution rather than the whole amount. I would be honest and say it was a more than you were planning to spend but that you would be happy to contribute £100 or £200 towards the purchase. More than generous.

BiscuitDrama · 13/04/2019 19:16

I think the friendship is over anyway. You won’t feel the same after this. You may as well be £550 up too.
Don’t pay it.

Palominoo · 13/04/2019 19:17

I am betting that no one else has been billed and they are fully taking advantage of you.

They are a disgusting pair of chancers trying it on with someone who they believe they can take advantage of their kind nature.

Do not give in to them.

Drizzlehair · 13/04/2019 19:17

Noooo do not pay! £50 vs the £20 you wanted to for the sake of avoiding embarrassment fine, if you can afford it.
£550 vs £100 never in a million years.

The fact they expect and actually demand this tells you they do not value or respect you.

How much do you / they normally spend on presents? Bday? Wedding?

Surely you can dig deep in your courage to say 'friends, I love you but you don't seriously expect me to pay £550 do you? That the level of gift I'd expect if prince William was my best friend'

You have to stand up to this. If you don't I am completely sure either the resentment will chip away at your friendship, or they will take this as a green light to continue taking the piss with gift requests and give you regifted M&S toiletries in return until you go mad wondering what is up with them.

Either call them out on it or end the friendship now, keeping your money. Or send them a bet friendly card with a contribution of £50 in it towards their beautiful curtains and keep fingers crossed the have the good manners not to query the amount.

If it's they genuine mistake they'll be mortified, never mention it again, and your friendship can continue. Anything else and you're over as friends, so might as well make it happen before you give them such a huge sum of money

Palominoo · 13/04/2019 19:19
Palominoo · 13/04/2019 19:21

Or pay it then move house yourself and bill them for all new carpets.

AwkwardSquad · 13/04/2019 19:25

No, no, no! Don’t buy their bloody curtains! That is such horribly bad manners on their side, I’m flabbergasted! As PP have said, they’ve tarnished the friendship now anyway, don’t give them your precious few quid because you feel somehow obligated. You’re not. They’re behaving like dicks.

Banhaha · 13/04/2019 19:25

Noooo don't pay! Offer to cover the deposit if you must so they don't lose that?

ThatDeadlyJetty · 13/04/2019 19:28

Oh god, don't offer to pay the deposit.
It will magically be in the region of £540.

Palominoo · 13/04/2019 19:30

What gifts have they bestowed upon you previously?

Ming vase for passing your driving test?

They’re grifters on the make.

Knittedfairies · 13/04/2019 19:30

Could you just cover the deposit?*

(*Clutching at straws...)

Bluntness100 · 13/04/2019 19:33

That's terrible, do not pay this. They are abusing you.

550 quid? They can't be serious.

Send an email back and say I think there has been a misunderstanding, but I was not intending to spend over 500 pounds on a small house warming gift, and as such, can contribute 100.

And leave it there,

That's beyond shocking.