Housewarming gift price range?

[NoCanoe]

I originally offered to buy a gift once my friends were settled and knew what they wanted. There had been talk of wanting to replace dinner plates, bed linen , towels etc.

They now have said they will forgo the non essential items in favour of something more practical.

That's fine. But because I never stipulated a budget at the time when it was a general idea, Im now being presented with an invoice far greater than anticipated.

Im just wondering if Im out of touch with price range these days, or am I being taken advantage of?

Id like some idea of what you'd consider normal price range before I say how much I am actually being asked for.

I do feel I have no option but to honour the commitment. But I'm a bit miffed.

Hi OP, you've mentioned a few times that she's 'played' you a couple of times.. what did she do?

Charley50, ugh. I really dont want to spend much more time dwelling on past incidents that Im now seeing in a new light. But, yes, I have mentioned a particular incident so it's only fair if I explain about that.

I'll keep it as brief as possible. Friend had a significant birthday coming up. She mentioned a few times something she really wanted but she couldn't justify the expense to treat herself, etc.

So, yes, I send the cash for her birthday and I send it 6-8 weeks in advance. All good. She is delighted, appreciative and I am pleased that I've got her something special for her birthday.

Two weeks before her birthday, her DH gets in touch. He has arranged to buy a present that will come from him, her 3 adult children and 2 special friends. I am one of those friends.

I'm a bit taken aback at being asked to contribute towards a second present, but then wonder if he knows that I've sent the cash and whether there is any reason she hasn't told him.

I decide to say nothing and I think that it would be nice to be part of the joint family/friend present and it would look bit strange if I refused.

So I cough up my contribution.

Shortly before her birthday, he gets in touch again, saying that someone is being difficult to pin down and he hasn't had that contribution. Could I cover the extra contribution temporarily? Various reasons are given as to urgency etc.

It seems ridiculous I didnt query further, but I was up to eyes in my own stuff at the time and I just agreed, without giving it too much thought.

I get a delighted thank you from the birthday girl about her joint present, thanking me for being part of it.

No mention made of fact Id already provided present.
And, no, i didn't get extra contribution back. Apparently that someone pulled out altogether.

It looks like tha someone copped on to CF long before you did OP. At least you have now and also that you weren't the only one that they were playing. Fucking hell. They really are something else and btw this is no reflection on you. Your only fault is being too nice.

They are professional sleazebags!

Oh dear.

If it's any consolation, OP, I've got some similar stories from my 20s. I think it helps me to advise people now though. (Silver lining and all that.)

The other good news is that once you've seen it, you can't unsee it. You'll never be so susceptible to being conned again.

OP I thought you lived in different countries? How on earth can she confront you? Just block them!

Did you mention an anniversary too? (Trying to remember without rereading the thread.) So, they've had an anniversary, a special birthday and a house move - all requiring special presents with at least 2 significant 'misunderstandings'?? Do they have any more special days coming up?

We do live in different countries , Slipper, I was referring to a verbal phone confrontation.

It seems so obvious when I've analysed it, but at time I put it down to crossed wires etc.

But now, Im thinking if it was genuine, friend should have appalled and embarrassed that Id been asked to contribute when she had already had her present. But she wasn't.

Nothing special coming up, SandAndSea.

The events were genuine. Ive seen the photos etc. But its leaving bad taste in my mouth, however genuine the events were.

Gosh and how much did the three birthday contributions come to? I imagine it was in the hundreds?

Im trying to remember my i initial gift, RainbowFox, I think it was 250 or 300. Then the 2 contributions were 75 each.

Analysing what you’ve said, once she was given the joint present with your name included as a double contribution, a true friend would have exclaimed to husband that you’d already bought her a present.

She would have been overwhelmed with your generosity or mortified that her husband had cajoled you shelling out more.

Instead I bet her and husband were rubbing their grubby little paws with glee.

Im trying to remember my i initial gift, RainbowFox, I think it was 250 or 300. Then the 2 contributions were 75 each.

My gob is well and truly smacked.

Yes Gods! They’re not even blood relatives.

Oh blimey OP, I honestly would just tell them what piss-taking arseholes they are and then block them. Have they ever spent anything like that on you?
Normal people don't just demand money like that.

Just to clarify one point. Its relatively minor, but it was one of the children who dropped out, but her name still part of present so as 'not to upset' her mum.

Apparently, she didnt want to share a present.

Charley50, no....but, as I said, special events etc for them.

I dont celebrate my birthday as something bad happened one year so that aspect , for me, has never been an issue.

Easy pickings for them, I can see that now.

Why didn’t the father pick up his dayghter’s contribution ?

Asking you to pay her share is just so wrong.

Do you even believe anything they say?

I can’t believe you spent that much on her birthday.

FiremanKing, I only found out later...and yes, I wondered that.

But I couldn't bring it up with friend, and I never pursued it with husband. I thought it would sort it itself out, once he remembered. But it never did.

And , after a while, I felt I couldn't say anything as he was off work ill . Supposedly.
Im now doubting everything.

Flower, It was push the boat out treat. My initial present. I budgeted to afford it.

again!!

Please please do not pay this. It’s outrageous

Whoops, no worries! That ship has definitely sailed.

In fact, it has sank. Bit like the Titanic. Groaning and whining, but finally admitting defeat at the cheeky fucker of an iceberg.

Fucking hell I'm gob smacked they have really suckered you in op. Please don't give them 1 more penny. They know exactly what they are doing and they're blatantly working together to con you. Arseholes

MegaClutterSlut, that is what I now believe.
It's sickening.

Once I started to really look closely, it was pretty bad.

Thank God for mumsnet! I really would have paid up.