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Original poster

Housewarming gift price range?

835 replies

NoCanoe · 13/04/2019 17:10

I originally offered to buy a gift once my friends were settled and knew what they wanted. There had been talk of wanting to replace dinner plates, bed linen , towels etc.

They now have said they will forgo the non essential items in favour of something more practical.

That's fine. But because I never stipulated a budget at the time when it was a general idea, Im now being presented with an invoice far greater than anticipated.

Im just wondering if Im out of touch with price range these days, or am I being taken advantage of?

Id like some idea of what you'd consider normal price range before I say how much I am actually being asked for.

I do feel I have no option but to honour the commitment. But I'm a bit miffed.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
MySecondBestBroomstick · 17/04/2019 14:35

Quote from your message to them: "I was thinking more of £100 at the most and I thought that was pretty generous!"

And she's come straight out and demanded the figure that you'd quoted as your absolute maximum.

This is the action of a grifter, not a friend. You haven't promised £100, and even if you had, it was before you put 2 and 2 together about "gifts" you've given them in the past. Enough is enough. Please say no. Or send them a small bunch of flowers by post x

beckycharlie · 17/04/2019 14:35

No way would I even give them a penny now, the absolute cheek of them!

ThatDeadlyJetty · 17/04/2019 14:35

Oh they're not even trying to hide their grabbiness!

Just ignore. If you give them anything, they'll just badger you forever more. Like those doorstep sellers, once they know they have a mark, they won't want to let you.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Events & celebrations General shopping
Bluntness100 · 17/04/2019 14:37

It's just so bad.

They went 550 asap.
Then asked for 350 when told the budget was 100
And then when told it was zero said, well we will have the 100.

It's beyond awful.

Just block them op. Really just block and move on. You don't owe these people anything, they are just using you.

ISpeakJive · 17/04/2019 14:45

They’re disgusting!

Angelinthenightx · 17/04/2019 14:46

Dont give them anything ,dont contact them and dont feel bad, she is crazy and a user. Dont let her drag u back into this

SlipperOrchid · 17/04/2019 14:49

They were never going to give up that easily when all they see are £.£ signs.

OP are you really so desperate for these ‘hun’ people to be your friends?

They sound awful. They are awful.

If you want to feel better give a donation to charity on their behalf and be done with it.

You really need to block them now. As another person said any further replies is just feeding into the drama.

Thank your lucky stars that you have seen their true colours. You are well rid of them.

LesLavandes · 17/04/2019 14:53

OP. Don't send anything. They aren't your friends. My guess is they are trying to gain lots of money from other 'friends' as well.

VaselineHero · 17/04/2019 15:00

These people are awful. I can't believe they are so blatantly demanding your money. They have zero respect for you and it's disgusting to read. I really really hope you are able to put aside your guilt triggers aside and ignore that last message. You are not obliged to do anything, not even respond.

Stop allowing your own desire to 'be nice' to shackle you into shitty situations with people who are not on your side. It feel hard when the emotions are flowing, but actually it's not that hard. You know the relationship is dead so act accordingly, let it die. Let them go.

iwantavuvezela · 17/04/2019 15:03

Most people OP would be so embarrassed at been called out on the large gift that they would try salvage the friendship, and not mention money or a present. That the message is once again about how much YOU can give them should tell them what you need to know.
What they should be doing is working on the friendship part not gifts, and trying to squeeze out of you always the largest amount!

SandAndSea · 17/04/2019 15:25

Wow!!!!!

These people are something else!

I'm so tempted to start playing with them now. You could message back something like:

"Oh so sorry! When I mentioned £100 previously, I'd completely forgotten about Aunty xxxx's birthday trip to the xxxx and my promise to buy a lovely cream tea for everyone. So, I could probably only manage about £32.29 and that really would be the absolute maximum."

And then, when they write back for that, you could come up with another tale, finishing by asking THEM for money because you've got so much on and you know that they've got more coming in than you at the moment.

So sorry for what you're going through, OP, but I find sometimes humour can really help.

mummymayhem18 · 17/04/2019 15:33

Oh for gods sake! Stop being so pathetic! They are taking you for a mug and are taking the piss with there blatant attitude. I'm sorry to sound harsh but after reading it all and all your back and forth replies. No friend or even normal person would normally behave like this! Tell them that. Then ignore anymore correspondence.They will soon realise that they have well and truly stepped over the line.

NigellaAwesome · 17/04/2019 15:39

Honestly, just block them and be done with it.

mummmy2017 · 17/04/2019 15:40

I think the fact you were so happy to still have all your money, really tells you time to put this relationship to bed.

cstaff · 17/04/2019 15:42

No OP just no. They have just proven what kind of people they really are. You are their "go to" bank account. Feck that. Disconnect with them on everything - phone, SM etc.

Sorry OP I know this is difficult but they are showing themselves up to be the money grabbing bastards that you were too nice / naive to see through. Just let it go. And I am really sorry this has happened to you. You don't deserve it.

woolduvet · 17/04/2019 15:54

I'd be tempted to have a bit of run at their expense.
Answer all the chit chat, tell them you won at bingo/lottery and are treating yourself this weekend as you've worked so hard.
Don't mention the curtains!
They are due hard cheeky fuckers, I got married 25 years ago and my sil promised us a deep fat fryer, she didn't buy it and never once have I mentioned it as it'd be bad manners!!

SandAndSea · 17/04/2019 15:59

Remember to keep in mind that they are just like those Tinder scammers. You know, "I love you so much, my darling, if only I could be with you now, but sadly, I've had some dreadful news. I'm so upset, I don't know how to tell you, but my best friend's just had an accident and I'm still waiting for my millions to transfer from that oil investment I told you about... Please could you help? Any amount would mean so much to me now."

Don't fall for it!

LazyLizzy · 17/04/2019 15:59

Just answer the chit chat and don't mention the £100.

Never mention money again. It will wreck their heads Grin.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 17/04/2019 16:01

NO NO NOE

THESE PEOPLE ARE LEECHES

dont reply- in fact block, this isnt a true friend. Go treat yourself to something for £100

SimplyPut · 17/04/2019 16:04

It doesn't have to be all or nothing... the absolute cheek!!!

Original poster
NoCanoe · 17/04/2019 16:44

Ive replied. Dealt with the chit chat and then said....

Im sorry to say I DID think it was 'all or nothing' and I've no longer got that money on the table. Or, indeed, ANY money! ☹

I've not offered an explanation as to why not, just kept it minimal.

I nearly added a pretend reason. Then thought - i dont need to justify why the money isn't there any more. It just isnt.

Hope you all approve.
I feel a bit shite, to be honest, but I know I'd have felt worse if Id caved in.

Smile
OP posts:
Guardsman18 · 17/04/2019 16:53

Don't feel shite. You know you've done the right thing.

You know that you can keep posting here don't you and people will help/advise/cheer you up? You can still keep posting op.

Don't give up now. We're all rooting for you xx

MarchSurprise · 17/04/2019 16:55

Just read the entire post in shock, what awful people.

You've done the right thing OP, these people are not your friends.

Knittedfairies · 17/04/2019 16:57

You have done the right thing OP. Try to put it, and them, behind you. You owe them nothing; no explanation and certainly not any money.

beckycharlie · 17/04/2019 17:04

I imagine the reason you feel shite is the realisation that people who you thought were your friends are actually arseholes! You've done the right thing!