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Original poster

Housewarming gift price range?

835 replies

NoCanoe · 13/04/2019 17:10

I originally offered to buy a gift once my friends were settled and knew what they wanted. There had been talk of wanting to replace dinner plates, bed linen , towels etc.

They now have said they will forgo the non essential items in favour of something more practical.

That's fine. But because I never stipulated a budget at the time when it was a general idea, Im now being presented with an invoice far greater than anticipated.

Im just wondering if Im out of touch with price range these days, or am I being taken advantage of?

Id like some idea of what you'd consider normal price range before I say how much I am actually being asked for.

I do feel I have no option but to honour the commitment. But I'm a bit miffed.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
SandAndSea · 17/04/2019 17:07

Well done, OP!

I like the way you word things - you're obviously very skilled in that area.

user1498854363 · 17/04/2019 17:14

Op, I came late to your thread, but having read it all, you need to know, YOU ARE AMAZING! Well done 😁😀

LesLavandes · 17/04/2019 17:14

Well done OP.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Events & celebrations General shopping
Bluntness100 · 17/04/2019 17:28

It was the right thing to do op. Because you have to have boundaries and self respect and when someone is abusing you this blatantly you need to stand up for yourself and not just give them the cash,

It will feel like shit because you genuinely thought these people were your friends and they have proven this not to be the case.💐

I think uou sounds like a lovely person, and these people have tried to take advantage of that. It's good to stand up for yourself.

What they have done was not even gentle or covert. They have treated you appallingly.

Angelinthenightx · 17/04/2019 17:44

Well done, im so happy your not letting these people walk all over u,dont feel bad,they are the ones that should be feeling that way.
This thread has been amazing to read shown how many lovely people are on here and that alot do care & want to give good advice.

LegoPeopleEverywhere · 17/04/2019 17:50

You have 100% done the right thing!! Well done!

Original poster
NoCanoe · 17/04/2019 17:56

Angelinthenightx- I couldn't agree with you more!

I think Ive been truly fortunate in having such amazing support, advice and kindness, as well as the understanding and empathy as to the personal struggle I was facing on a pure emotional/guilt level.

I wouldn't have got this far without you all, and that is totally the truth. Ive got a lump in my throat now, but for good reasons! Not bad!!

I'll always be grateful for everyone who posted over a bluddy pair of curtains! Wink

OP posts:
Original poster
NoCanoe · 17/04/2019 17:59

I expected hardly any replies!

And I did expect to be told....suck it up.

OP posts:
Notwiththeseknees · 17/04/2019 18:12

Don't feel shit - you should feel awesome!! You've handled it really well and now you have that experience under your belt, you won't take to long to suss out the CFs of be afraid of them! Next time you make new friends, make nice friends!!

woolduvet · 17/04/2019 18:21

Well done!

GiantKitten · 17/04/2019 18:21

If you need to reply again, tell her she gets nowt because she uses the word “hun” Grin

You’ve handled this brilliantly since gradually coming to the realisation that they really aren’t proper friends, NoCanoe. It’s a tough situation, & it has been hurtful, but you have come out of it much stronger but still a kind & loving person. Well done Flowers

SlipperOrchid · 17/04/2019 18:24

Well done OP. It is often the trials and tribulations of life that force us to stand up for ourselves. Anyone reading this thread can see you are a kind and caring person. Saying no to these vultures does not change that. It just makes you a self assertive, kind and caring person x

ijustcannotdoit · 17/04/2019 18:31

Well done OP, this person sounds crazy

MidsomerBurgers · 17/04/2019 18:47

Well done OP, I'm late to the tread, but have been holding my breath hoping you'd stay strong and not fall prey to their money grabbing schemes. They are NOT your friends unfortunately. Please distance yourself from them.

Treat yourself out of the £100.

shrumps · 17/04/2019 18:54

Great work OP. Sometimes Mumsnet really comes into its own, and this was one of those times. Strangers can see the bigger picture and be totally objective when it's needed. Glad you did what you did. X

NWQM · 17/04/2019 18:58

Good call OP. The only appropriate one in fact:

BubblegumFactory · 17/04/2019 19:04

Just read the whole thing, and am impressed at how well you have handled it all. Calm, well-phrased responses to someone who has no qualms about screwing you over.
I think you have made the right decision not sending any money over to this ‘friend’. No friend of mine has ever put me in such a horrible position. Friends don’t do that. No matter how much she calls you ‘hun’, she ain’t your friend.
Stay strong OP and know that you are the new hero of MN!

Gitfeatures · 17/04/2019 19:09

They'll probably suggest you can 'pay' in installments next.

Beyond shameless.

Original poster
NoCanoe · 17/04/2019 19:31

I feel I can't take any credit. It was a joint exercise! And you all need to take a bow and have a preen, because you collectively saved me from disaster.

And, yes, I'm recognising my boundaries more and I do feel stonger.

Think I should be grateful to those curtains afterall! Grin

OP posts:
Banhaha · 17/04/2019 19:39

Well done again! Can't believe they kept trying for the £100 after all that!

AwkwardSquad · 17/04/2019 19:46

OP, you’re an inspiration!

Bluntness100 · 17/04/2019 19:48

Mumsnet at its finest. Some of these posters who start threads about how appalling we all are, how it's not like th good old days, how it's all snarling vipers should read the very many threads like this when people go out of their way to help someone.

EdtheBear · 17/04/2019 20:02

That was a brilliant reply Op.

I'd refuse to engage in any further discussions about money, gifts or loans. I'm fairly sure they will drop you like a hot brick.

Glad Mumsnet has enabled you to see past these people.

beenhereages1 · 17/04/2019 21:11

Well done OP! You should be so proud of yourself, I'm not sure if I could have been so strong

Original poster
NoCanoe · 17/04/2019 21:23

AwkwardSquad - the collective voice of posters is the inspirational aspect here, not me.

I'd love to take credit, but I hardly came on and said ...cf....you'll never guess what's just happened to me!!

I came on, genuinely upset and torn, and i got back more than I ever dreamt of. I am still overwhelmed by the support.

I felt in such a quandry. I do try to do the nice thing, the best thing, not to be selfish...yup.....its how I was brought up. To my detriment.

I think, Palominoo mentioned a memory dredged from her memory banks.
I had one too - bit different, but I was 5 and I had 2 ballroom type dresses. All frills and flounces. But one I loved, and the other was my second choice.

Just dressing up dresses, I didnt dance!

But I was once asked to give one away to a cousin. My mum took me away to one side and said I had to give up one and be nice about it.

I gave away my favourite. Because I knew my mum preferred the other one.

Sad

Still annoys me now.

OP posts: